My son is entering 9th grade. We will be attending several revisit days this month and next and it will be our first time seeing these schools. We live far away and could not visit schools prior to applying. I was wondering if you guys had any advice as to (1) important questions to ask, things that you found out really mattered to your kid after he started school that you wish you knew before, (2) Things to look for beside “is it the right fit.”
A great thread to start. I was just contemplating this myself, as my daughter may be attending as many as 4 revisit days (though I’m hoping to get her to winnow the list further). But here are some of the things that I’d started thinking about as things I would want to know. I’d love it if others could add to this list.
– Are the dorms vertically integrated (i.e., 9th-12th graders) or separated out by upper and lower classes? If the former, how do they handle keeping things age-appropriate for the younger kids and things like study hall and earlier lights out?
– How much opportunity is there really to take elective classes and how and when does that fit into their schedules? (I’m always wow’ed by some of the amazing sounding classes these schools offer, but am starting to realize that sometimes it can be somewhat illusory as there are so many required classes)
– Same question with regard to extracurricular clubs and the like. How much of the endlessly long list of clubs and organizations are things that kids are really heavily involved in vs. things that they join so they can put it on a college application but it’s not really very active
– Pertinent for my daughter, who’s not really into team sports: most schools say that you can do other things like drama, community service, dance, etc in lieu of the sports requirement, but then have a lot of complicated limitations on that like having to do a team sport when they first start, or a certain number of seasons per year, etc.
– If your kid likes sports but was not a recruited athlete, how competitive is it to make the team in the relevant sports? And how much of the varsity team is filled with recruits? At some schools, particularly for the marquee sports, if you don’t make varsity by the time you’re a sophomore, you’re not likely ever going to make it, whereas other schools like to see the kids come up through the ranks and hopefully participate in varsity by the time they’re seniors.
– For any special things the school offers like travel or community service opportunities, certificate programs, internships, and the like, typically more kids want to do them than they can accommodate. If so, how do they choose who gets to participate?
– How racially, geographically, and socioeconomically diverse is the school, and how well integrated is it? Do kids tend to mostly be friends with other students from like backgrounds, or is the school successful in slicing and dicing so that most kids have a broad array of relationships in different contexts.
– What are the policies on technology use at school? Does the school recommend that all kids have a laptop, and do they support both Mac and PCs? When and where are kids allowed to use cell phones? Is the internet turned off at a certain point at night?
– How does the advisor program work? What are the expectations for the advisors, how are they assigned, are kids able to switch advisors (and do they really do that, or is it considered rude to do so)?
– What’s the parent community like? If you don’t live nearby, are there still opportunities to meet other parents, get involved in school-related activities, etc?
See this thread from a few years ago:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1112976-2011-revisits-p1.html
The level of supervision was huge for my kid, and probably the thing he/we considered the least. He was born independent and hates being told what he must to; on the flip side, he constantly seeks advice and guidance from people he respects. Fortunately, he ended up at the school that leaned much more advice if you want it than strict guidelines on how and when to study and sleep. In retrospect, I suspect a school with mandatory study hall and room checks (for example) might have driven him crazy. OTOH, there were kids in his class who would definitely have benefited from a more hands-one, rules-based approach, especially the first two years.
Mandatory study hall and weekly room checks seem so normal at this point in my high school career.
@soxmom lists some great questions not only for revisit days but also for selecting schools to apply to. Answers that narrow acceptance choices may also save a student/family from wasting an application.
It’s important to have your child look at the things that are important to them. You can’t necessarily follow a list of the rings to look for because some of those things may not matter to you. Does your child care about teaching style and student to students interactions or room size and rule strictness? Maybe sit down with your child and make a list of what matters most to both of you. Then, on revisit days, you’ll be more in tune with what each other is looking for and thereby be able to make a better and easier decision together. However, never forget the most important thing: the feel. Make sure you pick the place where you and your child will be the happiest, the most comfortable, and the most successful. Let them make the decision as much as you can. After all, they are the ones who are going to be there for the next four years. My parents were great with this, and it made the entire revisit and decision process much easier.
This is an important question. Even if you think your child is very independent, his or her advisor can be a vital resource at school.
Woah @prepschoolhopes haven’t seen you in a while.
Lol yeah @mrnephew but it’s spring break and I’m bored so back to CC I guess. I couldn’t agree more with your earlier comment about mandatory study hours and room checks. The new sense of normalcy is kind of shocking when you think about it.