Help us choose a college! Use your heart or your head?

<p>My daughter is deciding between Iowa State University in Ames and Colorado State in Fort Collins. She really loves and wants to go to Colorado State. At both colleges we are considered non-residents with no reciprocity. Her sister is a student at IA State.</p>

<p>During our college search I assumed these colleges would only be $3,000 to $5,000 per year apart in cost so that's why we gave her the go ahead to look and apply at both. I also assumed each would offer some money. </p>

<p>Iowa has offered $6,000 a year in a grant and Colorado has not offered assistance and will not (I have called). </p>

<p>This puts us at $10,000 difference per year plus transportation costs. At this point with money saved she will be able to cover most of her college costs at IA state but will come up short about $25,000 to $30,000+ for Colorado.</p>

<p>The colleges are pretty equal as far as size and academics and she is not sure what her major will be. She's an average student.</p>

<p>My question is has anyone had to make the decision where their child was disappointed? I wish we had not applied to Colorado and it would not be an issue but we did encourage it and now feel we made a mistake. Is it worth the extra money to go where your heart is?</p>

<p>We let our D go with her heart in choosing her school. Will it be worth it? Who knows. What I do know is that her final school choice was her decision. Although we totally support it, we will not be the ones "responsible" if it turns out not to be the dream decision she thinks it is. i.e. she will have no basis to resent US. :)</p>

<p>If you can swing it financially, I would let her make the choice. If you can't, I would just show her the financial realities... i.e. number of times she can come home......... how much spending money she will have... the loans she will have on graduation. At least that way it is an informed decision.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>Thanks.... we have shown her the realities of the choices which is why the decision is so hard for her and us. I don't want her to resent us or always wonder what it would have been like to go to the school of her choice. But I also don't want her to resent us if she has debt when her college years are over. </p>

<p>I think it's hard to comprehend that amount of debt when you're 18.</p>

<p>(I want to add what a great forum this is and I wish I would have found it years ago!)</p>

<p>Glacier-I ( DH and I) truly understand your situation. Our twins were accepted jointly at 7 great schools-one was a dream school in terms of location, morals, values-Pepperdine. We applied to meet the deadlines for scholarship $ and wrongly assumed both if not one child would receive merit $ ( they have received very good scholarship offers at EVERY other school). </p>

<p>DH and I developed a spread sheet so we could see COA + funds we have allocated + merit +/_ Stafford loans. Our kids looked at it and of course, Pepperdine showed 400K if both went there-. I have felt very badly that we applied there ( like you do about CS) without knowledge of merit $ chances. I know in my heart our D really would love to go there-but the concept of that much debt for all of us did not make sense. </p>

<p>What does CS use in determining scholarship $? Would one year at Iowa State position your D to get merit $ as a transfer? We have emphasized to our kids that many students transfer-we hope that will make their decision ( still do not have one as of today) a bit easier. Good luck to your D and your family-you are not alone in this dilemma.</p>

<p>Most college students graduate from college with $17 k in debt, which is a reasonable amount of debt.</p>

<p>Consequently, if she really wants to go to Colorado College, I suggest that you tell her that she can do that if she pays the difference via loans and working during the summer (She can work up to 60 hours a week during the summer, something I did to go to my college of choice) and school year (10 hours a week is reasonable). She also can seek out jobs during spring and winter break. </p>

<p>She also could apply for outside scholarships. She can check to see if Colorado College has merit aid that she could qualify for after freshmen year. Often colleges have this for high achieving students in certain majors.</p>

<p>If she's willing to do all of this to achieve her dream school, then to me it would be a good gesture to support her by chipping in the $3,000 or so more per year that would then make Colorado possible for her.</p>

<p>If she's not willing to do the things that I suggest, then there's no reason for you to sacrifice for her dream that she's not willing to do the hard work to support.</p>

<p>somethings you can only learn by doing</p>

<p>Colorado State is a nice school and she'll get a good education. Some people don't understand that kind of debt ever, even after they incur it. Give her a copy of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Make Over and send her on her way.</p>

<p>Personally, I feel that it's not worth it and that any kid should go to community college before going to a universtiy, especially if they don't know what they want to do. However, this isn't about me. The best thing you could do is to encourage her to figure out away to curb the costs; i.e. jobs, paid internships, co ops, etc... Even a college kid can make 30k in 4 years.</p>

<p>Have your daughter investigate independent scholarships. She might be able to land one or two to offset costs. Also, have her contact Colorado State to see what scholarships might be available to her after her first year. My friend's son landed some money following his freshman year from the department in which he majors.</p>

<p>I agree with those suggesting that she should in some way carry the cost differential and let her make the choice. It may work out if she is a good student and can land stuff (perhaps a scholarship or grant in her second year).</p>

<p>Thanks everyone - it really helps to get some opinions... we have a lot to think about this weekend.</p>

<p>Where do you live? I think travel has to factor in. Plane fares are going up and will continue to, there will probably be fewer flights, more crowded planes, etc. (Spent too long listening to NPR yesterday. They had a piece on it.) Good luck with the decision. The heart/head dilemma is very challenging.</p>

<p>Transportation is an issue as she would have to take a plane to Colorado. We can drive to Iowa. However, my IA State daughter was only home twice this year.</p>

<p>I struggle with if she is happy in her environment she will do well in college. She loved the campus at Colorado and is just so so about Iowa. I just don't want it to be like one of those jobs you hate going to but know you have to. You will excel in your job if you love it. On the other hand, sometimes it takes time to fall in love with something. </p>

<p>Had I known then what I know now I think we would have done things differently. I know everything will fall into place once the decision is made.</p>

<p>One issue I would really consider is the sister connection. I think there is definite value for a younger sibling in having the opportunity to branch out and carve their own path. Unless both girls expressed a desire to go to the same school, I would try to make CSU happen and allow them to each further develop their own identities. If your d is willing to work and apply her earnings to tuition and expenses, and you chip in a little bit more, then I think the amount of debt she would need to take on is reasonable.</p>

<p>It can be tough always following big bro/sis.</p>

<p>I agree following a sibling can be hard but has advantages, too. The IA State daughter will have the car next year which this daughter could use at times. Also, it is a large school (over 25,000) so they likely not run into each other. </p>

<p>Many kids from her high school are attending IA State next year. No one is attending Colorado State. </p>

<p>I do appreciate everyone's advice - keep it coming! As I said, I wish I would would have found this forum sooner. Nice to know others are struggling with the same decisions.</p>

<p>I had heard that Colorado Colleges had some dire funding problems. Googled "colorado college funding problems" and found this in short order.</p>

<p>"College funding teeters on brink
Officials say huge tuition hikes likely if system isn't fixed
By Berny Morson, Rocky Mountain News (Contact)
Tuesday, January 8, 2008</p>

<p>Colorado's higher education system is on shaky financial ground and students could be clobbered with stiff tuition hikes or program cuts if the system collapses, state leaders say.</p>

<p>The problem is a set of interlocking financial policies - some written into law and the Colorado Constitution - that make the state's 28 college and university campuses uniquely vulnerable to a recession."</p>

<p>Stiff tuition increases really played havoc a few years ago here in California. You need to factor in that CSU could cost even MORE than it does now.</p>

<p>It sounds that money aside, your D would tip the scales in the favor of CSU. However, when money enters the equation, are the scales still tipped to CSU? Does she place enough value on her whatever her criteria is to go to CSU to make it worth $40K+? If she had her choice of either Iowa plus a new car plus a new plasma TV plus a trip a year to Europe versus CSU without any of these things would she still want to go to CSU? Visualizing it this way might help her with the valuation question.</p>

<p>That funding issue in Colorado would give me pause. Yikes.</p>

<p>Another consideration might be the schools' schedules. Is one on the semester system and one on the quarter system? Are final exams scheduled before or after Christmas? Some kids have preferences one way or the other.</p>

<p>Interesting about Colorado funding - I had not seen that. Also, just for the record Colorado is about $30K+ and Iowa is around $20K+. We're adding in transportation costs also to Colorado.</p>

<p>Is there a possibility she would be eligible for scholarships after her freshmen year (department scholarships for enrolled students)?</p>

<p>ucsd-ucla-dad: Great suggestion. You obviously understand how most teenagers think!</p>

<p>Glacier, do you think part of the appeal of CSU is that no one else from her sch. will be attending versus lots from her sch. going to ISU? I get the feeling from some kids that they think their college experience won't be as special if they follow the herd to the nearest state u. My S is at our big state u. with lots of kids from our area. He has loved it. </p>

<p>Has your D spent time at ISU with her sister or any other friends from home who are currently attending? Can she say specifically what she doesn't like about it or does the allure of the faraway sch. where nobody else goes just seem more adventurous to her?</p>