Help!!!

Transfer Students
1

<p>Alright here is the scenario:
The end of high schoool is coming up; as some may no from a previous thread i did not do well in school, and i'm most going to go to a community college for one year, than transfer to another community college with honors programs in hopes that i will do good and transfer to a competitive college later</p>

<p>Domestic problems:My mom and my stepdad are moving to a rural country area, where there is virtually no community colleges within a 50 minute distance. She says if i want to move with them, i have to drive that far, but if i live with my biological father, it will be a closer distance. If i move in with my father, which whom my mom hates, she won't take me back, and she says she will see me as an adult and pretty much shun me. Also if i move with my mother she will make me pay for the internet and electric bill and other things. She also has benefits, where i don't have to pay anything. She also has a car for me which i am currentlypaying off the cost of it, gas, insurance in little installment debts. Which frankly, i find unjust. While my bio father wants me to move with him soon, like real soon during my 18th b-day which in february. He lives in a trailor park, where the only disadvantage i see is the water pressure sucks in his bathroom. He said that he will take care of me and supply me with my own computer, and i'll have to pay for the internet if i want it, and i think i will have to pay for the benefits, which is like 20 dollars.I won't have a cell phone unless i pay for it, plus i wont have a car to pay for. Which is not bad because i can than save money for school. I will have my own room, so that i can concentrate well, and my own privacy. I will also be closer to the Com college which is still like 20 minutes away, so i can go there, and i will be closer to my own town, so i can still have a social life, and not go crazy b/c i'm in a different town. Also i will have more money since a car is not weighing me down. I could also work relatively close, and get rides from my father. The gas will kill me, if i move to morgantown, but i'm so confused, i don't know what to do. Could someone offer suggestions? Help and suggestions will be awesome, b/c you see this is a pivotal move in my life which needs guidance and inputs. Feel free to ask me anymore questions if u don't completely get the big picture of the story.</p>

2

<p>I really, really think you need to find a guidence counselor. These are not issues that are appropriate for a college admissions blog. I don't mean that we don't want to hear about them, but that there are other people who would be far more equipped to help you, like a counselor or a social worker.</p>

3

<p>Yea whatever, it doesn't matter, but it is more coming from a econmic view, i mean don't you guys discuss your economic ways of saving money?</p>

<p>I just want to know which way is more economical to save me money from the long run</p>

4

<p>For shaganov, you just made me feel like i'm a nut case looking for sympathy, i'm not at all, so i hope that the melancoly tone of my thread topic didn't scare people off, thannx to shaganov</p>

5

<p>Dude, you have to make your own decisions and I konw it's hard one but obviously think about which option would be better for your future. I think that living with your biological Father will be the best for your education. Why would your Mother shun you, if shes shuns you just because you want to move in with your father for a better education then no offence she's not a very good Mother. Anyways move in with your Bio Father it seems like an overal better decision with your education in mind. And as a fellow community college, hang in there</p>

6

<p>hmmm... not only "nut cases" need guidence counselors or sympathy, everyone knows that. from your other post and this one it does sound like you need to talk to someone because you certainly don't sound like you are getting very much support from at least your mother. i don't want to get into personal family issues, but you posted intimate family issues, like your mom saying she would shun you if you moved in with your father. so, sorry, i don't think anyone would be afraid of your post because i said you should go to a counselor. i didn't realize you meant more economically, but if thats what you meant, i think economically it owuld make much more sense to live with your father. all right, i'm done, sorry if you misinterepreted anything, i'm going out and trying to enjoy the number-something-in-the-top-20-party-school-in-the-nation....</p>

7

<p>codeject, thanx for shedding light on the topic, thats all i wanted, my mom is the kind of mom thats hard-headed but once she realizes i'm gone she'll prolly miss me</p>

8

<p>Dude, be man and quit crying. Read a book about any successful entrepreneur. Most of them had so much sh it they had to put up with</p>

9

<p>yea okay, again, what i said was, this is NOT a sypmpathy story, i'm not crying nor am i being less of a man, a guy has needs some suggestions about what is the BEST economical ways, not about attacking my manhood, and entrepreneur were successful because business is hit or miss, you either got it or you don't, and frankly i'm not into business</p>

10

<p>"Dude, be man and quit crying. Read a book about any successful entrepreneur. Most of them had so much sh it they had to put up with"</p>

<p>that was so rude. gista was coming to this board for advice and some discussion about his situation. so waht if those entrepreneurs had so much **** they had to put up with???? i'm sure they seeked advice and guidance at least once in their damn lives about it. jeez. </p>

<p>anyway, if it's for economical reasons, go with your father, although hearing your mother say she will shun you is probably not helping your situation nor making you feel emotionally supported. its tuff, but you gotta make the decision that you see working better for you, and then working with whatever comes your way after making that decision. good luck.</p>

11

<p>Your father sounds like he cares about you and your interests a lot more than your mom.</p>

12

<p>I agree with cal girl on both accounts (nice name by the way). Judging from your posts it seems quite clear the moving in with your father would be the best move economically, but the fact that you question this move leads me to think that there is perhaps another story. It may be something more personal, obviously what you said about your mother and her reaction wouldn’t help matters, but I must say that this shunning method may just be some kind of technique to keep you. As you have said this is quite a move and it will take some thought, I hope I have been to some assistance.</p>

13

<p>How well do you get along with your father?</p>

14

<p>welll...... i just got into another fight with my mom, and she just called me a loser, and i will be flippin burgers when i get older, and told me that my dreams would never happen, and i just tottally just took it, and i feel like crap, i don't know what to do....</p>

<p>my dad is very supporting, but there are may money issues, see he has been in major debt with paying my mom child support, he lost his job, but he has got one now, with benefits, and he is behind in his mortgage, but i really am more partial to him because he provides me emotional support, but our histoy was horrible, he used to be an alcholic, and we used to get into fihts, but one night, we got into a major fight, and i set out this ultimatum for him, i told him to stop binged drinking, or he will never see me again, and from that point, he did, and he stopped smoking, i told him how i cared for him, and i didn't want him to die to see my grandchildren, and to see me sucessful, so he is with me hundred percent, but there is also the issues of race that plays along with this...</p>

<p>my mom is white, and my dad is filipino, he speaks poor english, but he is understandable, and has is an accountant, but he doesn't know the american traditons about going to school and such, so i will lack guidance</p>

<p>i am just too flustered with choices</p>

15

<p>r u female or male?</p>

16

<p>i am a male</p>

17

<p>It is difficult to find anything to admire in the way that your mother treats you.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, I think you are right to exercise self-control and not get into a shouting match or worse with your mother.</p>

<p>Judging from your posts, it sounds like you are better off both emotionally and financially with your dad. However, it appears that you hesitate because your mother threatens to shun you. You do not want to feel responsible for separation from your mother. </p>

<p>In reality, though, it is she who would be causing the separation, not you. You appear to have no desire to shun her. She seems to be trying control you through threats. You may want to consider whether her behavior consistently constitutes emotional abuse, see</p>

<p><a href="http://www.americanhumane.org/site/PageServer?pagename=nr_fact_sheets_childemotionalabuse%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.americanhumane.org/site/PageServer?pagename=nr_fact_sheets_childemotionalabuse&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>On the other hand, you appear to have a good, successful relationship with your father at this time. The bad history need not be a concern unless you feel that he is not fully recovered from the past and could relapse. You could help him with finances and with English. </p>

<p>I would not worry so much about guidance. Your father can guide you in important life-decisions (by himself, since your mother is proving to be so unhelpful), which to me would be the most important guidance that you will need. Specific school guidance is more readily obtained--at your current school, at the community college, at this website, through your own reading, etc. </p>

<p>You are certainly at a difficult and important time. If I were you, I would regret my mother shunning me, but I would nevertheless give serious thought to moving in with my father.</p>

18

<p>thanx for all ur replies,</p>

<p>don't get me wrong, my mom is an okay woman, than i greatly love, and i thnank her to death for letting me become a drug free, alchool free individual i am not, (she used to forbid me from going to parties), and i've never had a girlfriend b/c i'm too embarassed to see what my mom would do, one time i had to make up a girlfriend, so she would let me go out and stay out till' 11. She also never gave me lunch money b/c she said i was getting at the age where i can get a job and make my own money since i was 14, but i don't hate her just disaggree with her actions</p>

<p>i dont' know what is stopping me, either apprehension for knowing what the future will be like or jsut afraid that i will go totally broke, and i will be stressed out, which will cause me to do horrible in school</p>

19

<p>I know that you don't hate your mom, nor should you. But nevertheless she is wrong IMO to say to you "Do what I say or you will not see me". </p>

<p>If you are worried about stress, another idea would be to just work for a semester or year and then return to school.</p>

20

<p>naptown you are starting to really get on my nerves. and probably everyone else's in this thread. how about you just grow up or stop posting stupid **** since you are wasting forum space. damn</p>

<p>Gista, ADad has a good point. maybe you can just work for a year or so? you can save up and if you can pick up cheap used books or go online to research general subject areas. for example, you know you're going to have to take history, so while you work, you can read online about general US history so you can expose yourself to the subject and get to know some things before you go to school. once you're in school, at last you'll start off with some knowledge about the subject. do you have any money saved up right now?</p>