Helping child find a "passion"

<p>My kids developed passions in high school. It probably only helped one during her college application process (I think her leadership shone through) but I encouraged the passions because I wanted them to have interests that would focus their future major and career interests and, honestly, as a single mom (and this will sound so non-CC), I wanted my kids to be productive. </p>

<p>This is what worked for us… I kept them busy. I always had a list of what free activities I could find in the paper and that’s how we spent at least one day a week. They were exposed to sports, music, art, foreign languages, historical houses, science museums, nature centers, etc. Whenever they expressed an interest in something, I tried to find a way for them to explore it. By the time they were teens, they had naturally refined their interests to a few things and, with enough exposure, could figure it out. </p>

<p>The hardest case is probably my son who had an avid interest in a sport as a child and even trained with a top international school-- only to max out his ability in that sport around middle school. It took him a few years to find another interest. Even now, he is torn between a couple of interests-- but it’s never been a matter of no passions, it’s always been about picking the one he likes most. </p>

<p>Honestly, if I had a kid who couldn’t find enthusiasm in anything, I would have a serious talk with them and try to figure out if it were depression (in which case I would take him to a counselor) or just a personality thing (in which case I wouldn’t worry as much but would try to encourage some sort of career exploration). In some cases, it may be a good idea to limit time in activities which are zapping the life out of the kid.</p>

<p>“They were exposed to sports, music, art, foreign languages, historical houses, science museums, nature centers, etc. Whenever they expressed an interest in something, I tried to find a way for them to explore it.”</p>

<p>Yes, 2college…that puts it beautifully. I did the same with my D and that passion started when she was 8 and just bloomed from there…will it help her get into college? Really, it might hurt-- it means she’s very focused already and only interested in a few specific, elite programs. But it has enriched her life and I expect it will continue.</p>

<p>On the other hand, I was a typical HS kid, dithered off to an LAC where I tried this and that, and only found a path in life by accident some years after I graduated. But that became a passion and used all the odd stuff I’d poked at (batik? medieval history?) and I’m not sorry at all about the time I spent…being young.</p>

<p><<gosh, did=“” any=“” of=“” you=“” parents=“” have=“” a=“” “passion”=“” in=“” high=“” school??=“” i=“” know=“” sure=“” didn’t.=“” turned=“” out=“” fine=“”>></gosh,></p>

<p>Yup - I was absolutely passionate about singing and musical theater. Up until about Thanksgiving of my senior year I was going to be a voice/theater major. Scared the daylights out of my mother. She was THRILLED when I did a complete 180 and decided to major in geology. However, I continued to do musical theater all thru college - small dinner theaters that paid quite well for something that I loved doing!</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>And these are the colleges to which a huge number of CC parents/kids are applying and probably the reason this question in its various forms comes up again and again.</p>

<p>Good point, Bromfield.
I wonder if “doing anything I can think of to build my resume and get admitted to an Ivy or two” would count as a “passion.” :D</p>

<p>My kiddo just did what he enjoyed doing – sometimes to my chagrin, as I thought his summers could be used more productively toward college admissibility. Well, it turned out he was right. His activities “hung together” and made him a more interesting, capable, confident person. I’m sure that’s part of what made him an attractive candidate to his first-choice college.</p>

<p>Parents who are interested in what their children are curious about and who encourage it by exploring opportunities (like 2collegewego) are modeling behavior for a way of life beyond getting into college. I’ve seen it over and over again in many families and have also seen the flip side— parents who don’t seem interested in anything beyond the usual, every day stuff, never go beyond the parameters of what they know already either socially, culturally or geographically, end up with kids just like them.</p>

<p>I agree. We need to let our kids explore, especially after college. I found this book helpful (it has since become a website too) when my DD went through a series of internships last year. [Making</a> It In The City, Dream Big. Pay The Rent.](<a href=“http://www.makingitinthecity.com%5DMaking”>http://www.makingitinthecity.com) is the name I think.</p>

<p>“parents who don’t seem interested in anything beyond the usual, every day stuff, never go beyond the parameters of what they know already either socially, culturally or geographically, end up with kids just like them.”</p>

<p>I think that pursuing passions is based on genetics, not role modeling. I’ve seen kids who pursued passions even though their parents had no interest in such things, and even thought the kids were strange for so determinedly pursuing their interests. </p>

<p>Kids who have passions will pursue them regardless of whether their parents support their interests. </p>

<p>There also are parents who passionately pursue their interests and are puzzled by having offspring who aren’t passionately interested in anything.</p>

<p>I should add that passions need to be supported by income (ideally theirs) so while it’s good to support their ideas, they should be practical too, especially in how they try to navigate both.</p>