<p>I am at my wit's end! One of my Junior sons does not want to go to college because he doesn't want to move away from his dance studio, where he trains almost daily for hours in competitive International Ballroom. With his 3.5 gpa and 740 math, 690 reading SAT, I think he's too good for the local community college, but not good enough to get into the prestigous university near us. Does anybody happen to know a college (other than Brigham Young) that has a top international style dancesport coach? (P.S. - he wants to major in biology and become a podiatrist.)</p>
<p>Here's a list of ballroom</a> dance clubs at various colleges...I hope it helps.</p>
<p>Isn't University of Utah also very well known?</p>
<p>have you asked the people at the studio where he trains now to tell you which are the top college teams? My son's fencing coach knew quite a bit about the reputation of the fencing teams at various colleges he was considering.</p>
<p>Someone wanted to include ballroom dancing as an Olympic sport. Thank God that didn't happen.</p>
<p>The Claremont Colleges have a top-ranked ballroom team that has won numerous national competitions. I don't know a lot about the team, except that their performances are very popular on campus. You could probably check out Pomona's website, as the majority of ballroom classes take place on their campus.</p>
<p>Geez, how prestigious is your local U for those SATs to be iffy?</p>
<p>There are a ton of great schools on the link Warbler gave --- your son would have solid shots at most of them. Could there be something more than ballroom dance involved with your son's refusal to look at colleges? Sometimes kids seize on the most obvious thing because they have other doubts or fears --- perhaps you need to have a heart-to-heart and dig down a little deeper to see what the real reason might be.
Good luck!</p>
<p>Iggal, is your son training for a particular competition in a particular year? If he has an important competition coming up that year, perhaps it would be best for him to spend a year locally so he can continue to work with his coach. Also, ballroom dancing at that level sure sounds like a good "hook" to me! And your son sounds REALLY COOL!</p>
<p>You're in California, right? Would a CSU be a possibility? (I know it's academically less than he is capable of - but sometimes a commuter school really is the perfect choice for a kid who has his mind on something else)</p>
<p>Alternatively, he might want to go the delayed admission route - 2 years community college followed by guaranteed admission as a transfer to a UC campus. The cc's offer honors programs for academically strong kids like yours, and that may give him the flexibility he wants right now. In the end, it's a UC degree no matter where he started. </p>
<p>Also, I notice that you wrote that he "does not want to GO TO college because" rather than "does not want to MOVE AWAY for college". Maybe your son really wants to focus on the dance stuff for awhile longer before moving on to college, so perhaps a gap year really is the best thing for him. Since he says he wants to major in biology, it is clear that he has an academic ambition that is very different from his dancing aspirations - he isn't saying that he wants to make a living as a professional dancer.</p>
<p>It is very common among dancers to look at other options besides college. I'm more experienced with kids doing ballet or other forms dance than ballroom dance, so its somewhat different -- but at least in ballet, youth prevails - for those with a professional career in mind, it is probably best to apprentice to a major company when they are in their late teens if the opportunity comes their way. The problem for ballet is that by the time you are in your mid-20's, if you haven't already made it, it's probably too late. </p>
<p>But I would imagine that along the competition circuit, timing is also critical - and if your son is at a level that puts him in the running for championship competition, he may be right to focus his attention there for now, deferring college to after he has had the chance to compete at whatever level he aspires to. I mean, it isn't the Olympics, but to dancers it probably seems every bit as important. If rank and standings based on current competitions are important in determing competition level, it may be very hard to take time off. It might not really be possible for him to continue with his art/sport at the level he currently is and divide time between studio practice and a challenging college curriculum. So the choice might really be to opt for an easy college, or wait. </p>
<p>Keep in mind that the discipline and focus that your son has shown in applying himself to dancing will carry on through life. He will probably do very well even if college entrance is delayed.</p>
<p>why would you say he's not good enough to get ito the prestigious university near you? I find parents disheartening and cruel these days. Don't shoot down your kids (especially one with his credentials!) and give him a chance.</p>
<p>Thanks to all who wrote in with advice. Here's a little more info in response:
Texas137, I have asked his studio teachers for advice, and they beg me to keep him here. This is natural - with all the lessons he takes, he's the goose that lays the golden eggs for his little studio (whose teachers are of unusually high caliber.) So no recommendations are forthcoming from them.
Ceruleanne and SBmom, the university near us is Berkeley, and a 3.5 gpa from our school district just won't make the cut. His A's were mainly in music performance classes, which he took a lot of. He is not considered one of the strong students at his school. Discipline and focus are just what he lacks - he's classic ADD. Sure, we'll apply, but...
Carolyn and Calmom, he travels to about 8 major competitions a year and has moved up through the ranks rapidly. I talked him into trying a teen class 3 years ago hoping he would enjoy dancing socially as I do, never suspecting it would immediately become an all-encompassing passion. I had to plead to keep him on the basketball team this year (he's their center) and he quit participating in most other school functions. I think he's reluctant to leave a place where he gets so much positive reinforcement, and Mr. Grandiose also thinks that college teams are too far below his level. He isn't willing to settle for mere fun - he wants to reach the top.
Mini, Warblersrule86, and Quiltguru, thanks for the information and kind words. I'll e-mail the teams and check out the reputations of the coaches. I do know the Claremont team and would love for him to go there, but it's likely he'd only get into Pitzer, which worries me due to its drug reputation (son of a good friend went there.) I'll check out Utah. He may change his mind about staying home, but if he decides to go the csu or commmunity college route, I'll try to dwell on the positive - at least I won't have to worry about the tuition bills and too much partying.</p>
<p>Iggal, if your son really is competing at a top level, and likely to get where he is aiming soon (within the next year or so) - then that attainment might be the sort of hook that will get him into a private college that would otherwise be a big reach. </p>
<p>As noted above, if his long term plans are for college, I wouldn't stress over a year or two's delay while he is doing something where he is performing at a top level. A lot of young men really could use some time to grow up before starting college in any case -- the fact that you are worried about drug use at a college and characterize him as classic ADD would tend to support the idea that he may not really be ready for college at 18 in any case. That is, intellectually he would be ready, but in terms of emotional maturity/focus he may need more time. I mean - this fits under the "be careful what you wish for" umbrella: the last thing you want is a resentful kid who parties and slacks off and gets himself kicked out or put on academic probation by the end of his first year of college. </p>
<p>Is there a good chance for big prize money with these competitions? That might be a big help toward paying for college - something else to keep in mind.</p>
<p>Calmom,
I have been thinking about what you said, and now that I have received S's final transcript I am thinking you may be right about letting him focus on the dancing. For instance, his Honors Spanish grade went from A in the Fall trimester, to B in Winter, to C in Spring. The only teacher who waxed enthusiastic about him was his music ensemble leader. Clearly academics aren't his focus right now. On the other hand he came home from the Southwest Regionals Saturday with another first place medal. (No prize money in these comps.) Perhaps he will be ready for academic challenges once he has attained championship status. What a contrast to his three laid-back, conventional (but academically successful) siblings. Keeps things interesting.</p>
<p>OMG iggal I'm so envious of your son! Competetive ballroom dancing has been my dream ever since I was a kid. My parents never put me in any type of classes or lessons because they didn't have the time or money. Finally got the opportunity my senior year at a six week course at a community college. </p>
<p>I know way on the east coast St John's College has ballroom and swing dancing nights for fun. Don't know about any competitions. I think he would like that environment as I would if he also likes books, and there should be little pressure with grades. Or if you come to a college in Chicago there are a lot of musical and artsy people, and about 40 minutes away is the wonderful Willowbrook Ballroom which I heard great things about. Never had the oppurtunity to go because I have no one to dance with!</p>
<p>Does son have a partner? I mean, he has to dance with someone, right? Is she leaving, how old is she, or does the partner change? Has he had the same partner all along or has she changed? What if she leaves, would he easily find a new one or what would happen?? I ask because would his interest be the same if she left for college?</p>
<p>I have NO idea how this sport works, so am just wondering if he has thought it all through...if his grades keep slipping, his prospects for college will narrow as well</p>
<p>Another thing to remind son, it may not seem like it, but if he wants to do something physical, he can get injured and then what?</p>
<p>My husband was national soccer player in Ireland when he was sixteen. But he decided to go to college because he knew he needed to. He played semi semi pro for years, and still plays for fun. </p>
<p>I understand the thrill of victory, but if he doesn't do college in the next couple of years, I would bet you he won't at all.</p>
<p>Just some thoughts.</p>
<p>PS_ I think Ballroom dancing is cool. Once we were watching it, and my husband, with his two left feet, got upset because the Brazilians came in first beating the Americans, and he thought the Americans were better...it was like he was watching a prize fight</p>
<p>
Why not? Its not like the kid is sitting around doing nothing or getting into trouble. Assuming that he ends up dancing for 3 years, what else would he do? The only thing that I think might cut off the likelihood of college is that the dancing could somehow lead to a career opportunity that he wouldn't want to forego. But if down the line he decides that he loves dancing so much that he wants to make it his life's work -- perhaps he decides to open his own studio and coach others -- assuming he can make a living at that, what would be wrong with it? </p>
<p>The only real issue I see is one of money: who pays for the studio lessons? who provides basic support for son? That's the one thing that I think iggal needs to consider, because unless and until ballroom dancing starts producing income, iggal is in the position of financing what is probably a fairly expensive hobby. (classes, travel, costumes, etc.)</p>
<p>Nothing is wrong with that at all, many people do that...it was just something to think about </p>
<p>Following ones passion, if one is able, is the BEST. Making a living out of it is something else. The son needs to think about the practical matters a bit.<br>
I mean, many guys would love to play pro baseball, or football, but the chance of making a living at that are pretty small. And, being a coach or teacher is another idea, if that is something Son would be interested in.</p>
<p>It was not a judgment, I am sorry if it sounded that way. I was just thinking about the stats for people who don't go directly to college and who wait a few years. </p>
<p>I am still curious about the partner issue. How does that work and do partners change a lot? This is a whole new world to learn about, and with dancing, it is not a solo pursuit. I would assume the partner is paramount in success and if partner decides to make life changes, what happens then?</p>
<p>I liked calmom's suggestion. Getting a start at community college (part time?) ensures that when he does feel ready to go full-time at a 4-year school, he won't feel so far behind and will have at least some classes under his belt. Meanwhile, he would still have time to follow his passion.</p>
<p>When he gets tired of competition, maybe he can spend a year working on a cruise ship, whirling wealthy old ladies around on the floor. Perhaps one will want to adopt him and pay for his college, even. :-)</p>
<p>The partner issue is occupying our thoughts right now. He has had the same partner since he started because they are the right height for each other and the longer couples work together the better they look. However, she is leaving for college this Fall and his coaches are scouring the area for another potential partner - no easy task due to his height and the paucity of teenage dancers in our area.
We have come to a compromise on financing his hobby. He contributes all his earnings from two summers of work as a biology lab assistant and we contribute the rest, with new restrictions on the number of lessons per week - no carte blanche anymore. (We were shocked by our bill a couple of months ago.) Components of his costumes make ideal birthday, etc., gifts; I never knew what to give 17-year-old boys anyway.</p>