My DD got into the honors programs of one of our smaller state colleges and loved the honors dorms because there was less “nonsense” than in the Freshman towers.
One of my favorite sayings is “People who mind don’t matter, and people who matter, don’t mind.”
The world is such a big place, and there are so many ways to be happy in it. Don’t make yourself miserable thinking that any school your kid goes to is “scraps”. Seriously, why do that to yourself? If your kid goes to a school where they are happy, engaged, challenged, and can find a career they enjoy and that is important to them, how much more can you ask for as a parent?
I can’t relate to the “elite legacy parent” people because that’s not my path and I didn’t come from wealth, but I don’t begrudge them their feelings about colleges-that is their truth for them. I also don’t worry about what they’d think about how my kids do or where they go, and I’m not concerned if they think I’m a rube for being excited about my younger daughter attending Rollins College or Florida Atlantic U or wherever she chooses to go.
I don’t base my value system on other people’s perception of us-because that would make me miserable trying to live up or fit in or behave, and I choose not to be miserable. 
I am ferociously protective of your right to pursue happiness, as well.
My son and few of his friends have 1480-1510 in PSAT but no free stuff came their way. I hope real money for colleges is on the way in due time.
@WorryHurry411 … Beyond NMF I’ve never heard of scholarships based on PSAT scores.
What are their ACT or actual SAT scores?
I have two kids at the same state college, one in Honors and one not, so get to see the difference. D lived in the Honors Dorm last year as well. She did not have to deal with staggering drunks the way she did in the freshman dorms. D is both super-nerdy and super-athletic, so socially is a better fit for the HC.
D has three distinct advantages as part of the Honors College: early registration, better classroom experience in her Honors classes, and access to Honors-only scholarships. For that, she will be submitting an honors thesis senior year. With group projects, the work of all the participants is both timely and exemplary. S1 struggles to get others to turn in anything much less work of usable quality.
Like others have said, you have to evaluate each situation separately. Cal Poly, for example, has essentially no advantages to being in their honors college.
@carachel2 Not talking about scholarships but things like free t-shirts. My son had 2250 in 9th grade but he didn’t take one in sophmore year, will take upcoming SAT.
@WorryHurry411 - it could be random, some sort of experiment, or maybe they decided to target our zip code … who knows. The first two college email messages she received after the PSAT were from UChicago and Northwestern. We’d heard of NW because of their football team but had basically never heard of UChicago. I’m sure she clicked on links in the email. Maybe that triggered something.
“I also don’t worry about what they’d think about how my kids do or where they go, and I’m not concerned if they think I’m a rube for being excited about my younger daughter attending Rollins College or Florida Atlantic U or wherever she chooses to go.”
Anyone who would have any reaction to your face other than “oh, how nice! I’m sure she’ll have a great time!” is simply not worth the time of day. And they certainly aren’t people it’s important to impress.
I literally can’t think of anyone that I would think is important to impress. However, I may just be weird.
I have new found respect for kids these days. D is in the easy AP Calc, AB, and is slightly struggling (low A). She’s also taking AP Chem and AP Computer Principles. I went back and looked at my college transcript (EE at UT-Austin starting in 1981)… and, wow, what a disaster! I got a B in Engineering Calc I in the first semester, which is equivalent to her AP-Calc AB this year. It was mostly downhill afterwards. I got a D in English that year (how do you get a D in English!?!). I got an F in Engineering Physic Lab! I hated labs. Was on “scholastic probation”, then pumped up the grades, followed by an eventual drop out in 4th year. I only had a few things I was interested in and didn’t care about the rest - and it showed. Our D is, luckily, a combination of the two of us. My wife is an excellent scholar and has the grit to “get 'er done” in school. This tension in her between my deep-dive, vertical approach and my wife’s horizontal excellence approach has been a struggle for us. I need to look for colleges that can accommodate that.
The only discussion between me and the parents of the kids with the similar stats to my kid was which place is offering the highest Merit awards. This information was much more accurate and useful than obtained thru internet research. Highly recommend this approach.
The rest is just a bunch of bolony, I did not care what others thought about my kid’s college names, and that included the HS GC. Many years later, we are still very proud to mention the names of our kids in-state public colleges and superior education that they receive there, including the highly selective programs that they were accepted to.
@droppedit For my D2017 and D2019, I think their main motivators have been visiting colleges, even during first years of high school. They have seen campuses and said, I really want to go here, what does it take? For D2107, I bought her SAT prep book and it was barely used. But she was agreeable to tutoring. She made 1240 both times on old SAT before tutoring, then 1390 after under 10 hours tutoring. (New SATs are running higher but not 150 points). She reported to me tutoring did help greatly with strategy. She might have anyway scored higher just taking SAT a third time, but we feel prep was worth the time and and money. Also, it contributes to the whole attitude of what she can do to aid her college search. Every rise in SAT or ACT opens more potential doors to admission, and to tuition savings.
As to Honors colleges, they have big advantages,especially in cost. Echoing other posters, I would not rule out OOS Honors, or LACs. Costs are not always out of reach compared to in-state publics.
I am also annoyed when kids and (mostly) parents whine about ‘settling’ for Chicago or Duke or JHU. There are kids with more ECs than most adults ever achieve. So what? Your daughter is very smart and not spoiled (but typical) and is headed to a great selective school somewhere.
At my DD’s HS, the val got into Harvard but was not accepted into the honors program at local flagship. She actually decided to take neither and go to another great university with a full ride and in honors.
Put up with what @beltwaybaker?
@PetulaClark – we might be seeing some of that “what does it take” mindset now. For example, last night I asked if she wanted any help with math since she has a AB quiz coming up today. Her instantaneous answer was “no” like in the past then she said ok. We’d work one problem at a time in parallel and compare results. After doing a few problems she would say, “I’m going to beat you to the answer on this one!”. I haven’t seen that kind of competitive attitude from her in years. Will that translate into doing at least some ACT test prep? I don’t know. In October, she has her 11th grade official PSAT on a Wednesday and I scheduled her ACT for the following Saturday, figuring that the PSAT would serve as a test “prep”. We’ll see how it goes.
BTW, I’m all-in on public Honor Colleges (assuming she gets good enough test scores to get into one).
@droppedit I think a lot of how much it matters depends on where your D wants to land after college. I was in our flagship honors college but dropped it. It has never mattered. I have friends who went to Ivies and other elite universities who came back home. It has never mattered. I did have one friend who went to Harvard Med and stayed in Boston. It mattered. I also have friends who went to “lesser” state schools. It has never mattered (one is a judge). An Ivy degree can be great depending on the major and where you live, but I know a lot of people who invested a lot of money for the prestige of that diploma and are now paying for it with the same salaries as their StateU coworkers.
Depends exactly on the college and your kid. My eldest got into various honors programs, but also
a 1 year deferred acceptance to an elite school. He tried one of the honors programs. Perks sounded good but in the end did not matter. He found not many honors sections of classes, took mostly classes with the general population. Was not motivated by peers nor professor expectations of them. No honors dorm, another problem. If he liked it, would have saved me lots of $, but he did not and took the 1 year deferred offer to transfer. Much happier surrounded by all smart kids, not just a few. Prefers B/C grades with top students over As with lesser students, but that’s just him.
I wanted to update this thread with some new information. Our D18’s HS decided they needed to up their NMSF totals so they are offering a free PSAT prep class during school to juniors who scored in the top 10% last year. D, still frustratingly reluctant to do test prep, went once or twice and decided to take the first mock PSAT this morning. Looks like she improved her math quite a bit but we won’t know for sure until the mock scores are out.
Anyway, a small amount of test prep is better than nothing.
I think your daughter may have stronger stats than you may think - straight A’s and a 32 ACT (if she gets that) are competitive at top schools. With that said I personally think that a solid Honors Program is a great way to go, and her stats may put her in the running for excellent merit aid. Good luck.
My oldest graduated in 2013. He attended HS in NJ, where NM is a long shot. He caved and did some test prep (less than 4 hours ) on getting through Math quicker. This little bit helped him to achieve NMF.
He didn’t get accepted to all schools he applied to, but did well overall and in terms of merit.
Note, Honors College at Public Us can vary greatly. I like John Willingham’s Inside Honors as a resource for Honors Colleges.
My attitude in the college search process with my younger kids is much different than with my oldest. I am insisting on one or 2 rolling admin schools and a doable financial safety, beyond that, I am stepping back vs my involvement with the 2013 kid