I agree @laralei - I am not sure what great lessons that people learn living in a crappy dorm. I don’t think bonding with hall mates is a given and can’t see much value in two strangers forced to share such a small space while also trying to navigate a life transition. I agree that the newer dorms can be isolating but I think the isolation so many find today comes more from technology and gadgets than from the dorm. Those that are romanticizing the great dorm experience from their past were living in a time without cell phones, individualized internet, streaming video to laptops, etc… that turn even the most social living situations into isolated islands. I am not sure all of the kids today have the social skills to make new friends, even in the close quarters of communal dorms.
I know plenty of my dd’s friends from HS and my nieces/nephews who were in traditional freshman dorms at their schools who did not get the great sleepover, bonding experience that is mentioned constantly. Most struggled with roommate issues and many were put in forced triples or quads creating more of a strain. They struggled with the transition from home and their studies (a few transferred closer to home). I am happy my dd didn’t have to worry about negotiating overnight guests,walking in or being present for uncomfortable intimate moments, drinking/drugs and the aftermath, lights, and excessive noise while she was trying to sleep or study. She had her own small space with door for sleeping/studying and they had the shared spaces for learning about living with others and boundaries. She learned bigger life lessons such as cleaning the bathroom and food/kitchen boundaries that the kids in the traditional dorms do not need to worry about. Those are great lessons that will help her in the future! I also know that my dd met tons of kids in other suites and made great friends with the 3 others in her suite.They baked in the communal kitchens, hung out in the floor lounges and studied in study areas with larger groups. They did what they needed to do to make those social connections and at least for my dd they included students from many different regions and backgrounds. This was important since she was 1,000+ from home and we wanted her to have the best possible chance for success.