Parent of a rising senior here, female, only child. Although our search process is still somewhat wide open, our daughter is showing signs of being very picky about residence halls, e.g. bemoaning community bathrooms (currently shares a bathroom with no one except the occasional houseguests, so a little spoiled in that regard).
Acknowledging that she is likely being unrealistic on this point, residence options available to freshmen will be a factor in what school she ultimately chooses and how well she settles in. The Web sites for the schools themselves are helpful but don’t tell the whole story.
Are there Web sites that compare the residence halls between different schools, or at least show student reviews (like a TripAdvisor or Yelp for dorms)? Or do we have to hunt down individual subreddits for each school, or things of that nature?
At some colleges, there are drastic differences between one residence hall and another. For example, at the school my daughter and a friend from high school attended, my daughter ended up in a gigantic single in a beautiful hundred-year-old all-women’s dorm with large community bathrooms and no air-conditioning (which she loved, mostly because of the single), while her friend ended up in a small double in an ultramodern suite-style dorm with bathrooms shared by 6 same-sex students and air-conditioning (which she loved, mostly because she met a very nice group of friends there).
There are also differences between colleges in how much choice among dorms is offered to entering students. For example, at the same school I’m talking about, students can specifically request a few unusual residences, such as special-interest houses and the one all-women’s dorm, but for those who are going into the general co-ed dorms, the only choice you get is whether you prefer a single or double (and even then, you may not get what you request).
And stuff can turn on a dime… the college will reserve the right to put a third person in a double if they discover they are over-enrolled in August; the dorm your kid picked might need emergency repairs (all the kids who got moved to motels during Hurricane Sandy and then ended up staying there…) or get closed for a MERS scare and she could get relocated for the rest of the semester.
I’d encourage her to view the dorm experience as part of the learning. I don’t know any kid- ultimately- who viewed the type or quality of housing as instrumental in their college experience. I went to a college which was notorious for scuzzy housing. Freshman year I was in a 100+ year old building with gorgeous molding, original hardwood floors and fireplaces, and I shared an enormous room with someone who seemed very compatible when we moved in. She suffered from severe depression and was suicidal… believe me, that had more of an impact on my Freshman year than the fact that we had beautiful vintage faucets and hardware in the bathroom, and that we each had a closet of our own and space for bookcases, comfy chairs, a small loveseat, etc.
I really think she is best off going to college with the idea of “roughing it” as part of the college experience. My kids grew up in a lovely home in a lovely town and spent their freshman years (different schools) with no air conditioning, communal bathrooms, and my S ended up on the top bunk of a bunk bed to boot – they not only survived, but flourished, grew into stronger people, and made a lot of new friends. The fact is that most kids are not used to communal bathrooms (or to eating in cafeterias for that matter) but it a fact of life in many college freshman dorms. IMO it would be a mistake to limit college choices to places with fancy dorms because you will be cutting out a ton of great options. Plus even within a college the dorms can vary greatly so picking a college with one nice freshman dorm does not guarantee she will be placed in that dorm. The only exception might be to find a college where some freshman get private apartments (I think UT-Austin might be one) and they she would be guaranteed a living space “up to her standards”.
If your daughter thinks she will not enjoy the residence hall experience, she may want to include some schools on her list where students don't necessarily live in the residence halls for all four years. Off-campus living (which usually means sharing an apartment with a few friends) could be something for her to look forward to during her upperclass years at college.
If she has any friends who will be at college and living in dorms this fall, she may want to try to visit them and see their living arrangements. It used to be possible to see the insides of dorms during campus tours, but many colleges don't allow this anymore for security reasons. However, a friend could bring her into the building as a guest.
Personally, I preferred dorms with large, community bathrooms. The staff cleans those bathrooms; students themselves are usually responsible for cleaning the smaller bathrooms in suite-style dorms. Also, the bathrooms in suites are often just like the one in your house, meaning that only one person can use it at a time. This can make it awkward if you need to use the facilities when one of your suitemates is in the shower.
My D started her college search insistent that she was only going to consider colleges where she could live in a suite with its own bathroom her freshman year because she didn’t want to have to use a communal bathroom but she just finished her first year and chose a college that didn’t have that option. Ultimately the other features of importance to picking a college were more important to her than the dorm situation and she had a great experience and loved her dorm. That being said, you may be able to find some info on niche.com. The most reliable info is going to be found by searching each individual school’s housing info on their website.
Thanks, these responses are all appreciated, keep them coming …
Naturally we would not choose a college based on the freshman dorm offering … mostly I was looking for resources for HER to read what others are experiencing personally, to open up her thinking - just like some of the great responses above. I love the one about roughing it as part of building character. Absolutely!
Re bathrooms and privacy: You NEVER have to walk around the dorm undressed. You can sleep in the same sort of clothes you would wear to the gym (just make sure they aren’t the same clothes you wear to the gym!). You can wear those clothes or your regular street clothes to the bathroom to take a shower and take them off in the shower compartment. You do not need to walk around the building wrapped in a towel or wearing a bathrobe. (Go ahead and buy a bathrobe for college, but you’ll probably never use it.) Communal dorm bathrooms usually have shower compartments that are similar to toilet stalls. They’re enclosed, and they usually have a hook or two for your clothes.
“The only exception might be to find a college where some freshman get private apartments”
Alabama has some very fancy, semi-private suites for freshmen that would likely suit this student. These are official on-campus housing, but many large public schools have some kind of recognized off-campus private dorms that are for students only. In some places, they are certified by the school. Off the top of my head, these exist at UT-Austin, Illinois, Florida, Auburn, Montclair State, TAMU, and probably lots of other places.
My daughter goes to school with some of the wealthiest of the wealthy (living in true mansions (multiple) traveling in private jets etc…) and is friends with several who all feel that this experience (crummy communal bathrooms in dorms and seedy apartment style housing as upperclassmen) gives them an experience they are happy to have and wouldn’t trade for the world. There is a certain camaraderie in living this way.
As a middle class HS student I worked a crappy hourly job summers; my (upper) middle class kids did not. I would hate if they also avoided the shared room/shared bathroom/no airconditioning life of college.
I wasn’t going to get on my soapbox, but funny you should mention that, donnaleighg. I was telling a coworker that my princess chose to work at a local coffee chain this summer for $7.25/hr and gets 15, maybe 20 hours a week, rather than Chipotle for $9-10/hr and 30-plus hours a week, because she likes the atmosphere better. He said, and I quote, “Summer jobs are SUPPOSED to suck! That’s half the point!” I totally agree! But at least she is working … Many of her peers are not.
It might be worth finding out the following about the residence halls of colleges your daughter is interested in: coed versus same-sex dorms and floors; substance-free dorms and floors.
Like Marian, I think there are some real plusses to hall bathrooms.
I lived in both dorms with singles and doubles off a hallway and a dorm with suites and bathrooms within the suites. (Though at Harvard those bathrooms were cleaned by other students, at least in my day.) I far, far prefer the kind of socializing that takes place naturally in a dorm where everyone opens on to the same hall. My younger son would add that the halls are even better if there is a decent size lounge on the floor for people to hang out. His sophomore year dorm was not nearly as well laid out as the freshman year dorm.
I also really, really, really dislike the economic segregation that takes place when fancier dorms cost more.
That is a great point @mathmom about “the economic segregation that takes place when fancier dorms cost more.” I think part of the value of the dorm experience is spending time in close quarters with people whom you wouldn’t have thought were “your kind,” whether that’s ethnic, race, economic class, academic focus, diverse interests, etc.
Just to clarify: I don’t think suite-style housing or apartment living are bad ideas for upperclassmen. I just think these are unfortunate arrangements for freshmen, who benefit the most from opportunities to meet lots of people.
Freshman (and most sophomores) live in sub-standard conditions. This is just a fact of life that every college freshman accepts as is. If the Honors dorms are available, they will provide a bit quieter living. As additional benefit (if of any interest to a student), D’s Honors dorms had a piano that she could practice.
I am not familiar with the dorms at any Ivy / Elite. Most juniors move out of dorms. D’s UG had College Suits that were much more “livable”. The apartment had 4 bedrooms, each with it’s own bathroom, common living room and kitchen and the complex had shuttle going to campus, although most students had a car at college in junior year. I know only couple of college that have College Suits. There were also some houses around the campus, that group of students could rent. However, every freshman had to live in dorms on campus. I am not sure about sophomore, D. had to move to another dorm for her second year - non-freshman Honors dorm, and then she moved to College Suits.
D. did not care too much about dorms/living conditions, but she really appreciated a superior food service, her in-state public was known for that. WalMart and Kroger being close to campus was also a great plus.