High Performing Kiddo with Safety as 1st Choice

Applying to College
21

D18 (4.4GPA/35ACT/8 5s in APs) picked a lower ranking school (~85% admit rate) over T20 colleges. She had a great experience there.

But the last few months of high school were problematic, especially at prizegiving, senior night etc when there was lots of cheering and applause for the kids going to Stanford (including her BF), Georgetown, MIT etc and silence for her.

Generally people didn’t know/understand the reasons for her choice (top ballet program and full ride scholarship) and some peers and parents were openly rude about it (especially due to the location in a red state).

1 Like
22

I don’t understand why people need to be rude

11 Likes
23

My kids pretty much applied to safeties for financial reasons since we are not eligible for FA (but being a family of 7 in a high COL area could certainly use it). My 21 year old did get some grief (34 act, 9 AP’s, 3.9 uw) but was in the honors college, as were all of her friends, met her boyfriend freshman year (very smart guy), both graduated a year early and are in grad school. My 19 year old is at a school with 48% acceptance rate (33, 7 AP’s, 3.9) in honors, she had plenty to choose from since she was also looking for merit. My 2 oldest just went to top in state publics, have been employed at good jobs since graduation.

4 Likes
24

I’ll echo everyone else. S21 choose a lower ranked school’s honor college due to programs and location. He has had so many more opportunities to participate in clubs that are geared to his intended career. Those opportunities would not be available at many other schools. Fit is more important to your child’s wellbeing and future, than ranking! Many of us can relate because we have grappled with it.

2 Likes
25

Totally get what you’re saying. She’s not positive about career choice yet, so that complicates things a bit. She knows she wants something in the sciences as this is where she has excelled, so good research opportunities are important. Beyond that, she wants big school spirit, football program and Greek life. Basically she wants it all!

2 Likes
26

Well, my 19 year old is at Clemson, they are very strong in spirit, football and Greek life, and have a competitive honors program.

2 Likes
27

My daughter chose this route as well; she wanted huge school spirit, football, etc. She had a really high GPA (4.5) and a 33ACT, 10 APs etc and is at University of South Carolina in the Honors College and having a wonderful college experience academically and socially.

I know, for her, there are no second guesses.

6 Likes
28

It sounds like she is making a great choice.

Her stats and activities are unlikely to get her into a top 25 or a highly selective LAC, but it sounds like the school she might want will have great name recognition and a great alumni network just like those highly selective schools do.

Also, I disagree with the person who said that she won’t be surrounded by similar students. If this is a large state flagship, she will find many students with academic backgrounds as strong or stronger than her own.

Strong students are flocking to these schools for many reasons. Alabama offers them generous scholarships, so the school has more NM finalists than any school in the country.

South Carolina has a fantastic honors program, and I know a freshman there with a near 1600, a dozen APs, perfect grades, her own small business, and national exposure in her other EC. She chose SC over two LACs with single digit acceptance rates because of the research opportunities and the general student experience. She has a sister at an Ivy and her parents are thrilled with both choices.

Tons of brilliant premeds are choosing state schools because they don’t want to deplete their college funds on undergrad.

My college freshman and I visited Ohio State’s business program last year and I was floored by the 7 students we met. These kids had internships and jobs after graduating that were on par with any business students in the country.

We know one student with an 800 math SAT who is at a local college that has basically open admissions. His brother, with a 1500+ is also there.

I am confident your daughter won’t be out of place at a school like these. If she has a lot of AP/DE credits, she will be able to get into harder classes faster or be able to more easily double/triple major or get two degrees, or explore more outside of class. Bright, motivated kids rarely are bored or unfulfilled because they find all the many ways to pursue their interests.

And, finally, it’s early. Your daughter is waiting on target and reach acceptances. She may be protecting her heart… she is wise to fall in love with her safety. If she doesn’t get more acceptances, she will be excited with this one. So many kids in that position aren’t. If she does get those other acceptances, she will have an enviable decision.

12 Likes
29

If it’s her first choice then it’s not a safety. I have the utmost respect for those who do not get caught up chasing prestige and rather chase their best fit. Going where she wants to go and not succumbing to the pressure of where others think she should go is something to be admired. Best of luck to her.

14 Likes
30

well, she’s still applying to U Mich so she’s not completely above the prestige angle! LOL. But that’s true that once she found her “fit” she didn’t care about rankings. She’s double legacy at Boston ColIege and has zero desire to go there even though it’s a higher ranked school than almost all on her list. I guess I can learn a lot from her.

7 Likes
31

And probably most students in America who are likely choosing a college based on finances, location, major etc but don’t even know a ranking and surely can get into higher ranked schools than they attend.

1 Like
32

I have an older daughter at Michigan and it’s a great school, but not all kids want to be in a hyper competitive environment where there is competition to do just about everything.

My younger daughter is at a school that probably ranks 40 slots below Michigan in USNews rankings and it’s acceptance rate is also 40+ points higher than Michigan’s. She applied and was accepted to 6 target/safety schools. She never wanted the stress that her sister enjoys, either in applications or in college itself. She was in the top 10 of her class, had strong ECs, etc., but knew herself enough to know where she would be more likely to thrive.

My husband and I also attended a different top 25 school, and I wondered if I would be constantly thinking Michigan was better than the other school because of my own snobbery :grimacing:. I do not. I have been so thrilled with my younger daughter’s choice. Her school does many things so well!

Also, a friend once told me that the best place for a kid is rarely the best school they can get into. It’s the school where they can shine and set themselves apart so they are chosen for awards, internships, etc. She advised going somewhere where the kid will be in the top 10%. I don’t thinK that’s always necessary, but it’s a worthwhile point to consider.

12 Likes
33

Thank you for this perspective! My daughter does tend to be competitive and gets stressed out (“a low A isn’t really an A” type of kiddo) and to your point it would probably be positive for her to take herself out of a hyper competitive environment if she did wind up getting into one of her reaches. She probably feels this way but just hasn’t articulated it as such.

I’m so glad both your kids are thriving in such different places.

34

It’s a mom issue, not a kid issue - right :). I do struggle but my daughter is at the 16th of 17th school she got into rank wise. And is taking full advantage of a special program she’s in. College of Charleston Fellows.

Her bff at school got into Rice, Penn, and Vandy and goes there. Three majors. Tour guide. All around stud.

I scratch my head personally but these kids choose where they do for a reason.

My belief is it’s the kid that makes their opportunity, not the school.

I look around my neighborhood of million dollar plus homes. Of course I don’t know where everyone went but those that I do - it’s Belmont, Lipscomb, UTK, Auburn, Bama, Nebraska, Rutgers, Penn State, MTSU, Tn Tech, UT Chatt, Radford, LSU, Ole Miss, Ms State, Samford…yeah we have a few Vandy’s and a Cornell just moved in

The point is - a lot of this is overrated and overplayed. That she has a wonderful four years and gets access to great opportunities - that’s what really matters.

4 Likes
35

Some tiger parents at my son’s HS were incredulous that my son opted to go attend Case rather than a more prestigious school that was all the rage in their circles. They too were a tad rude and condescending.

36

Why can’t a first choice be a safety where the student has assured admission (including to major if applicable) and assured affordability?

10 Likes
37

My d22 is a high stats kid, she was accepted to a couple of her high reaches, one with a single digit acceptance, and chose her safety. She put so much stress on herself throughout high school, graduated with a 4.0 uw with 9 APs, always had to have a perfect gpa, that she came to her own realization that she didn’t want to live like that anymore. She is at a very social school, having the time of her life, still doing well academically but without the intense competitive environment. For her, I really think she made the right decision and I’m very glad I didn’t push her in a different direction.

14 Likes
38

We visited many schools including safeties. We sat in several Honor Program presentations. All the kids were outstanding.

Finances and not getting into an Ivy were typically reasons for attending. It reassured me that my sons would’ve been fine going to a safety.

1 Like
39

My son is at his safety too. It wouldn’t be a safety for everyone. He said flat out “I’m not going to be $25,000 a year happier at a more expensive school.” He’s at the state flagship, which is a bargain. He is miles from being the top student at his college, but he’s very happy.

9 Likes
40

All of S23 top choices were safeties for him but might be a reach/target for others. He didn’t even apply to any reach schools. Just because a school is selective, it doesn’t mean that’s the best program for the major you are interested in. The top schools for DS major are not competitive schools. He wanted to work with those doing research in his area of interest.

At one point he felt like he needed to put applications into some reach schools just to see if he could get in and then he came to his senses. He was not interested in a cutthroat environment and wanted to be with other students that had a strong interest in his area of study rather than in the rank of the school they were attending.

The plus side is he is now choosing between schools with great honors programs and has gotten a lot of merit money.

7 Likes