From 10th grade on, I was invested in the college search process. I spent hours looking up and predicting my chances, discovering what I could do to make myself a stellar applicant, etc. And instead of building my list from the ground up, I started with the biggest brand name schools. My first college tour was Duke, in something like 9th grade. I went with my sister, who was a junior at the time and actually in the process. I loved the campus, the people, and the facilities available. And in the South to boot! Everything about it was great, although looking back I wonder how much of that was just it being my first time on a real campus. During that trip, we visited Davidson, which I didn’t like, and also Wake Forest and Georgetown, which I forget about.
Other top schools quickly crept into my list. Pretty soon it was just a rewrite of the USNWR Top 20, with two or three safeties thrown in “just in case”. Even though I am full pay, I figured I would be able to go to a top school if I got in. The only question, in my mind, was where that would be.
This was the first place where I went wrong. It’s easy to build a list of reaches because they’re so desirable. And it’s fun to ask yourself, “Well, if I got into Harvard and Yale, where would I go?” But looking back it was all wasted time that I could’ve spent actually making myself a top candidate for merit scholarships. What inevitably happens with these lists is that the safety schools are not properly vetted for true fit, and when the reaches collapse you’re left with two options: massive debt or a “crap” school.
My own college search started in December of last year with a trip to Washington University and Vanderbilt, because they had some merit money available. The city of St. Louis and the school itself were so horrible – graffiti everywhere, a sense of disrepair even in good sections, the piercing wind, no school spirit – that I didn’t even finish the campus tour. The school was very clearly not for me. I got on the plane to Nashville with low expectations, thinking that maybe my own hype had gotten me. When I arrived at Vanderbilt, though, I felt an energetic campus that I could easily be a part of. Even in mid-December it was beautiful and mild. Nashville was equally vibrant and clean. My mom and I left equally excited about the school. I thought that I would definitely go if given their full tuition scholarship.
In the ensuing months my list would fluctuate wildly. Some weeks I would talk to my mom and she would convince me of the benefits of taking a scholarship offer. Ivies would drop like flies from my list and schools like Emory, Northeastern, and Miami would creep onto it. Then I would whip back in a panic, thinking that only a top school would do, and suddenly there were 6 Ivies and 3 other top schools on my list. At the same time, my constant preoccupation with the future was inhibiting my ability to perform in the moment. My grades slipped – only a bit, but still – and all the impressive projects I had planned never got off the drawing table.
As summer ended and senior year started, I was in a more fearful place. Now I thought I wouldn’t get into the top school, wouldn’t get any of the prestigious merit (at UVa, Vandy, Emory, or the like). At the end of August, this was my list:
Princeton, Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, Duke, Vanderbilt, University of Virginia, University of North Carolina: Chapel Hill, Davidson, University of Southern California, Emory, Fordham, Penn State: University Park, Tulane
As you can see, it’s still loaded with full price reaches and schools with slim chances of merit aid.
The trend over fall was a reality check. My mom said she could pay $25k and my dad said he could do about the same (they’re separated). But my mom didn’t trust my dad to pay anything and encouraged me to make a list without an expectation that that money would be there. She also had me cut my list to a manageable number of applications because she didn’t want to have to tell me no come April, and she told me that she didn’t want me in California. It was a forceful conversation but I walked out of it with a changed list. I dropped all the elite schools, except for Princeton. As the cheapest Ivy and the closest to my house, it was the only <em>maybe</em> affordable option. It became my token elite school.
I visited Tulane and Fordham and like them both (Tulane more so than Fordham, though). Davidson was back after a surprising revisit proved me wrong on all counts. By November 15th I applied to Tulane, Miami, Alabama, and Fordham. Alabama accepted me with their full tuition scholarship and I started to consider it in the back of my mind. Yesterday, Fordham accepted me, and now I’m thinking about that too.
Some schools found their way off my list. I missed the UNC deadline for merit, so that was off. Then I missed an interview for U of Southern California and figured that was as good a reason to cut it as any. Emory’s merit date came and went because I was indecisive about if I liked it enough to pay the $80 fee.
Now, at the end of December, I still have no clue where I’ll be, but I know I’ll have good options. This is my current list:
<ol>
<li> Princeton</li>
<li> Davidson</li>
<li> Vanderbilt</li>
<li> Rice</li>
<li> University of Virginia</li>
<li> Washington and Lee</li>
<li> University of Richmond</li>
<li> Tulane - Submitted</li>
<li> University of Miami - Submitted</li>
<li>University of Georgia</li>
<li>Fordham - Accepted</li>
<li>University of Pittsburgh</li>
<li>Northeastern</li>
<li>University of Alabama – Accepted</li>
</ol>
Now, I’m not going to end up applying to all these schools. I estimate I’ll end up applying to 12, maybe fewer. Rice, Richmond, Pitt, and Northeastern are all on the chopping block.
This post is getting long, so I’ll end it here for now. But if there’s one thing I want to tell people who are like me, it’s to find safeties. You can lie to yourself all you want about making the money work and I can’t stop you. But do yourself a favor and find a school - you can think it’s “beneath you”, that’s fine and will pass - that you’ll be happy at, which fits your goals, and where you can get excited. Apply to it early - acceptance letters, even ones you expected, can make you think seriously about a school you dismissed earlier.
I will update this post as my story continues.
Until May,
StagNation
