Agree, it’s generally very difficult.
Since OP is over 18, I don’t think there’s an issue with vacations, but does he need to maintain a NY home address, for that residency? A call to Stony Brook may also be in order.
We don’t know where you live now, OP, with whom, or who’s helping you with your mom’s affairs. (Even if there were no or few assets, there are details to attend to.) Is there another parent or stepparent in the picture?