Help my dad wants me to Transfer schools!

I currently attend UConn and I love it. I’ve joined clubs/communities made friends, brought a new sorority on campus, I know I’m getting a good education, etc. Last year, when it was time to decide where to enroll it was between UCONN, a small women’s liberal arts college, and UMass Lowell because I could commute there. I asked my parents that tell me now, do you want me to pick based on what’s the cheapest because I know we’re not the richest people and owe a lot of money, and they replied “pick the college you want to go to, don’t worry about the money”. I said UConn obviously. Now my father comes back to me after a year saying that it’s too expensive and that I should transfer to UMass Lowell or try to get instate. UMass Lowell is fine, but it’s not a top university like UConn, I’d have wasted money on taking basic gen eds that I might have to retake again and I won’t even get to say UConn on my resume. What do I do? How do I get in-state? I read the CT residency statute but its a little confusing. Do I get a job for at least 6 months while living there and then apply?

I’m a CT resident. Unless your whole family moves to CT, you won’t be getting instate residency status for tuition purposes now. Getting a job here won’t help. Your family needs to live here…and pay taxes here.

You would have instate status at Massachusetts public colleges.

OOS costs at UConn are certainly higher than instate costs in MA. I’m not sure what to say to you…but I will give this opinion…the general education courses your took at UConn will likely transfer elsewhere.

Make sure you withdraw ASAP if you are signed up for housing and classes for fall at Uconn. You do not want to be obligated financially.

Oh dear. This sounds really unfair and I’d be inclined to ask your dad if something happened that changed their ability to pay for you to attend the school of your choice, especially since you were told not to worry about it. It’s a pretty big deal for your parents to ask you to leave after your freshman year. Had you known they were going to do this, you’d have made a different choice. The only acceptable reason that I can think of is an unexpected change in financial circumstance. I encourage you to discuss this with your parents. If there’s been a change in circumstance, you may qualify for financial aid. I’d hate to see you take a semester off because of their last-minute request. At the very least, perhaps you could attend for one more year which would give you time to apply as a transfer elsewhere. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this stress.

I would listen to your parents, I personally wouldn’t be using words like “unfair” or demanding an “acceptable” financial debrief. If there is no money for OOS college, it is what it is. Be ahead of this, not behind it.

I think a lot of times parents under estimate the real costs of college. They want their kids to be happy but the loans and payments seem unimaginable. If your parents are paying, ultimately it’s their decision. Maybe you can go to UCONN again for a National student exchange semester.

Living off campus or becoming a resident advisor may decrease your costs.

Do you have any merit scholarships? There may be an opportunity to apply for additional scholarships.

My son is attending UCONN next year and he gets emails regularly asking him to apply for additional scholarships.

I would ask your parents specifically if finances have changed. You may be eligible for work study. I’m certain you can get a job on campus…many are already listed for next school year.

I would explore every avenue…but quickly because time is of the essence this time of year. Can you even apply to a MA school and enroll for Fall at this time?

I’m sorry you are faced with this situation.

@Sybylla
Nobody said anything about “demanding an acceptable financial debrief.” The OP has every right to be upset and in somewhat of a panic. It sounds as though the OP was told last-minute to switch schools. I believe the OP deserves the courtesy of an explanation for this request, particularly after being told not to worry about the money. I stand by my assertion that this is unfair to the student. Unless there has been an unexpected change in financial circumstance, this last-minute request represents extremely poor planning on the part of the parents. It’s not rocket science; anyone with a basic calculator can crunch the numbers to determine affordability. This is assuming, again, that there is no change in the parents’ jobs, finances, health, or other circumstance beyond their control. The OP likely has little choice but to accept this situation and move on but it’s unfortunate and it could have been avoided.

@My5Kiddos A student can’t just “become a resident” if they came to the state for college. That won’t work.

OP, it sounds like your parents underestimated how difficult it will be to pay for OOS college. It is tough, but you are likely going to have to transfer. Sit down with your dad to see if you can make it work — if you move off campus and cook for yourself (but remember that leases are 12 months and subletting is unlikely), if you earn money this summer and work part time during the school year, maybe give up your sorority (it is an expense you maybe can’t afford), and take out your federal loans if you aren’t already.

But you may have to transfer. You don’t want to end up supporting your parents in their retirement years because they spent too much on your education. Or hamper any younger subs from going to college if you have them. This is not an uncommon story, unfortunately. You may have to take a grown up step and accept this financial reality. Don’t be too hard on your parents — they wanted to give you something you wanted. I’m guessing they feel bad already.

“OP, it sounds like your parents underestimated how difficult it will be to pay for OOS college”

That is what it sounds like to me also.

U.Mass Lowell is a good university. For Massachusetts residents, it is also a bargain. I have worked with a few people who graduated from there who all were very good.

I know that is hurts to need to transfer. However, it is very important for all of us to minimize debt as much as possible. I think that you can do very well with a degree from U.Mass Lowell.

It is WAY too late to be an RA for the 2018-2019 academic year. And there is no guarantee any student would actually GET one of these highly competitive on campus jobs ever.

Tuition alone for OOS students at UConn is $33,000 a year or so.

Tuition at UMass Lowell is $15,000 or so.

This student could live on campus at UMass Lowell for less than the cost of OOS tuition alone at UConn.

The OP can ask the parents if the $45,000 a year cost is now too high for UConn. To the OP…how were your parents paying for college? Was it all with loans? Did you have a college savings that got used ALL for your freshman year? Did you have any scholarships or grants?

@GoldPenn the parents already SAID that UConn was too expensive. What other explanation do you expect the OP to get?

@intparent I’m not suggesting the student become an in state student. I was suggesting she consider off campus housing, which may be less expensive than room and board on campus. There are quite a few rentals in the area and I hear regularly from students that it is less expensive to live off campus.

@thumper1 yes, too late for this year to become an RA, but it may be something to strive for next year if she can figure out a way to afford this year.

UConn tuition, fees, room, and board for OOS students for 2018-2019 will be close to $51,000. UMass Lowell instate tuition and fees will be ~$15,000. While the cost of commuting is certainly >0, the difference in cost is quite substantial. I really feel sorry for the OP, but I think she will have to plan to transfer. I don’t know if it is too late to transfer for fall semester, but transferring for Spring 2019 should be doable. As mentioned above, OP should make sure she withdraws in writing from both the university and from housing/dining immediately.

It’s unfortunate that this happened…but as noted upstream…sometimes families underestimate how a $50,000 coat item will impact their family finances.

Fortunately, this student has an instate option that is affordable.

@thumper1
I’d expect the OP to get an answer as to why it’s too expensive now but it wasn’t too expensive 10 months ago.
I’d expect the OP to get and answer as to why the parents are pulling the rug out from under the student at the last minute.
And I’d expect the OP to ask the parents what they think the OP should do given the very few options left available at this late time.

In my world, when you give someone your word, you stand by it. If circumstances have changed, then an explanation is in order, and frankly, “it’s too expensive,” doesn’t cut it. We can agree to disagree, but unless there was a change in the parents’ circumstances, I view this as irresponsible on behalf of the parents, especially given the lack of explanation and the LAST MINUTE notice.

I checked the UMass Lowell website and the priority deadline for transfer applications for Fall 2018 is August 15. The OP has plenty of time to submit a transfer application after withdrawing from UConn.

Regardless of the explanation, if the money isn’t there, it’s not there. You know the saying: you can’t get blood from a stone.

I agree-- it would have been nice to see this coming, or to have some sort of an idea of why it has happened. But if sounds as though the parents would love to do this for their daughter, but for some reason simply can’t.

So, OP, you have two choices: you can accept this gracefully or not.

If you choose to do so, you’ll have a brief pity party-- ice cream helps-- and move on to this next chapter. You’ll put in the transfer app today, get things rolling, and start looking for roommates.

If you choice not to do so, the end result will be the same, but you’ll be miserable.

@GoldPenn In an ideal world, the parents would have looked out and realized that it was unsustainable to pay for 4 years. But they didn’t. They made a mistake. Sounds like they may not be good money managers to start with, since the OP mentions high debt levels. But if the money isn’t there, then it isn’t there. You can be as indignant as you want. But unless you have $100K to give the OP, they likely to have to accept the financial reality.

@GoldPenn

Some parents are not comfortable with discussing family finances with their kids. They just aren’t.

The family is telling this student that UConn is too expensive. Frankly, they don’t need to offer any more of an explanation than this.

This student HAS an affordable instate option.

Choice two would be to take a year off of college, and work and save money…and figure out what to do next.

The parents have indicated they can no longer afford the OOS costs at UConn. For all we know…maybe the thought the student would get instate status second year, or get some scholarship to offset some of the cost.

But it really doesn’t matter. If the parents can’t pay the bills, the student can’t attend the school this coming academic year.