Really, I think if dressing up or wearing a turkey hat on your head makes you feel good and festive go for it! Life’s too short to worry about what other people think about stuff like that. Wear what makes you feel good!
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“Honestly, unless the people you gather with are especially catty, I would suspect that most people who say “You’re so dressed up” are actually thinking to themselves, “Should I have dressed up? Did I miss a memo? Have I made a social faux pas?” What they say is often more about them feeling insecure than it is about you.”
This I agree with.
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Two thoughts on this thread.
(1) It reminds me of cruise threads 15-20 years ago about dressing for formal nights on cruise ships. One school of thought was that it was an elegant tradition worth keeping, and the other that people who paid should wear whatever they wanted where ever they wanted. I think most ships have devolved to “please don’t wear shorts and flip flops but we’ll let you in regardless.”
I myself like dressing up a little for Thanksgiving and seders, but I don’t play football.
(2) Many years ago, we were hosting Thanksgiving for my mother and my brother and family.
Between cleaning and cooking I didn’t have time to touch up my roots (I was doing it myself in those days) or getting it trimmed. I did wash and dry my hair! The next morning, my mother called and wanted to gift me a trip to her hairdresser as a Chanukah present. I could only imagine the conversation in the car on their half hour drive home. I declined, and only partially because all I ever heard from my mother about her salon was complaints.
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For OP’s situation, she knows the tone and the people involved… so in that case probably “You are so dressed up” could a put down. Or it could be them feeling insecure … less likely though when the majority of the gang dresses casually.
Just want to point out I think sometime people (including me) sometimes say vague things doing a last minute pivot on a possibly inappropriate comment. Example - “You look so pretty today” could be the initial statement intended, changed on the fly so as to not talk about appearance.
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Step back and think about where your mind or heart is or should be if you’re more tuned into what people are wearing than how they are acting. (BTW, that goes both ways in this case - if you are on side “dress up” or “dress down”.
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I mentioned above that I’ve kept my Thanksgiving vest for a few decades. Well… as long as I have it, had to wear it to dinner and to church too.
Happy Thanksgiving to all, whatever you choose to wear 
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This reminds me of the movie, “Christmas with the Kranks,” where Jamie Lee Curtis has to don her Christmas vest when Blair calls and says she is coming home. 
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I am sympathetic. My mom died unexpectedly after a stroke. I had packed for rehab and had brought nothing nice. I went to a Marshalls after Christmas and bought whatever fit and looked halfway decent. Then I threw those clothes out.
The older people dress up and the younger people don’t in my family. We take pictures so I try to look nice. I am an older person. My mom wore the same outfit, too, not a Mrs Claus outfit, but a colorful flannel shirtdress, nice shoes, and matching jewelry. We used all the good dishes.
I plan on dressing up and using the good china, too. I hope it will make an impression on grandkids someday. The young folks can do what they want.
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Back in the day, I had a fancy outfit that I got to wear for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. One year it looked to my eye like an enhanced Pilgrim dress and that made me very happy. This week, I will change from my very casual clothes used for cooking to a slightly less casual outfit (with elastic waistband; let’s not be ridiculous) for the meal. I don’t really care what the guests wear, although I have to admit that I hope they will not arrive in gym clothes or sloppy attire. But if they do, :::shrug::: I’m happy to see them.
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I drove to my hometown with a pile of clothes in my car in anticipation of a funeral. I was there so long that the weather actually changed, and I really didn’t want to wear any of the five or six different outfits I had tossed in my car. I also went to Marshalls where I found the perfect dress.
The funny part…my husband flew out to meet me, and he actually noticed that the dress I was wearing was something new.
Back to holiday dressing. When I worked, I had a full closet of holiday sweaters. Now, I have just a couple of more tasteful ones…plus a lot of red. I’ll be wearing one of those tops for the holiday events I attend.
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I almost always assume what people are saying is a compliment rather than thinking they are criticizing. They have to be extremely blatant for me to think otherwise, like when one guy I don’t know commented on my hairstyle being from the '80s - it is, and I’m quite content with it - but I know he meant it as a dig which was saying something more about him than me IMO.
If others were trying to make me feel bad by “compliments” I’m supposed to take otherwise, they failed.
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Years ago, my SIL commented on my 70’s hairstyle (from her, definitely a dig). I responded truthfully, “Your brother loves it, and his is the only opinion that matters to me.”
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Honestly, considering the comment about my hair came from a guy on an Amtrak train who I didn’t know at all, I assume either he’s mentally not all there or is employed in a higher end hair cutting establishment where all clients want the latest and greatest - or both.
I want easy and fits what my hair wants to do. It gets cut roughly every 2 months. The first month I don’t even need a blowdryer. The second month it takes me 3-4 minutes tops to blow it dry. No other special hair needs required (other than shampoo and conditioner). With my lifestyle, it’s perfect, but yes, it was popular in the '80s moreso than now. I just don’t care. If it makes him shudder, too bad for him.
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While running this morning I thought of this thread and if I could consider wearing a past Turkey Trot long sleeved tee with a big turkey on the front….festive or no?? 
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@abasket I am literally wearing a shirt like that right now. I have others so I could wear a similar one tomorrow…
I say - go for it!
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