<p>I always wondered how the home schooling situation affected the social aspects. So you are home schooled, you are used to seeing your mom and dad 24x7 and miss out on sports and dances. When you eventually go to a school or BS, how do you adjust socially? Do you have issues with relating to people, making friends etc.? What are your experiences? Do you feel like you would have been better off if your parents made the right decision of actually sending you to a real schoo?</p>
<p>My homeschooled kid does three varsity sports (I realize that not all homeschooled kids have this opportunity, but most can take advantage of club teams); goes to dances; does band through the school, etc. </p>
<p>There are many, many different styles of homeschooling, but all the homeschoolers I know are very involved in sports and are out “there” in the community, though many also stay part of a close family unit throughout their pre-teen and teen years. This might make it easier to adjust to boarding school where there’s also less separation between “home” and “school.”</p>
<p>I think there are advantages/disadvantages both ways. Sure, my kid has been around us more (though not quite 24/7 
), but he’s always been much more in charge of his own schedule and getting work done in the order that made them most sense to him. So that may well help him adjust to bs. On the other hand, going to classes all day will be a big adjustment, I imagine. </p>
<p>Point is, it’s going to be a brand new experience for everyone, homeschooled, public schooled, or private schooled.</p>
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<p>Nice try, Pulsar. But I’m not taking the bait. :)</p>
<p>I’m just wondering—why do you care?</p>
<p>Are you going to let your grandchildren/children/parents/grandparents be homeschoolers? LOL you have so many identities!</p>
<p>Agreed Neato, but I feel like it’s worth responding for the other people who might read the thread title without knowing the poster’s love of stirring up controversy. Does get old, though, dispelling the homeschoolers can’t possibly be properly socialized mythology…</p>
<p>gonnastop, This thread is for people with mature thinking skills. I should have put this disclaimer earlier. Don’t waste anyone’s time here. Live up to your name. :D</p>
<p>Classicalmama, Thank you for your post, very informative in this area. Others, please keep your ideas coming.</p>
<p>I think some of you parents are really paranoid about simple things that people want to know about BS and education in general. I dont see any baits. I bet you tons of people have these same questions and will be happy to know more about the subject.</p>
<p>While I’ve known a few smart, polite, and interesting homeschooled kids, the majority that I’ve met are not too bright, socially awkward, and unable to deal with difficult situations. Let me give you an example: I’m on a competition dance team, and we’ve had maybe two girls quit in the middle of the season in the last twenty years. This past school year, three girls have quit (one the day before a major competition!) All three were homeschooled.</p>
<p>I am not trying to generalize homeschoolers in any sense; I am merely noting my observations. I suspect that because of my area’s decent public school system and plethora of good private schools, parents have only had to resort to homeschooling if there is a major problem.</p>
<p>bamagirl95, Thanks for your contribution. It’s good to hear the pros and cons. I hope many others are also finding this info useful as I am. It will be great to hear the homeschooled students opinions as well in addition to the parents.</p>
<p>Could be. People homeschool for a wide variety of reasons.</p>
<p>At the risk of overgeneralizing, I’d agree, actually, that in junior high, some homeschoolers might be perceived as socially awkward. But–and these are my observations as a public school teacher as well as a parent–the way junior high kids socialize is very different than the way people socialize at any other age, and much of that socializing is negative. Many homeschoolers haven’t learned to play those game or don’t want to. To give my own example: one of my kids does fine with his public school peer group–he’s very easygoing and extroverted. The other, who’s more serious and introspective, has more in common these days with kids who are older than he is. In general, these differences go away as everyone matures. </p>
<p>Certainly haven’t seen the not too bright piece–most of the homeschoolers I know are the same mix as you’d see in public school, though their education tends to be better (here, anyway, where our school choices are very limited). And I’m guessing there’s a back story to the dance team situation that’s more complex than they quit because they’re homeschoolers–though being part of the same homeschooling community may have affected their choices. </p>
<p>As you write, though, bamagirl, your schools may impact your homeschooling community, especially as the kids get older. Many of us homeschool when our kids are in elementary school, and then pursue other options as the kids get older. However, I’m part of homeschooling discussion boards with parents of incredibly bright, talented, socially adept kids. And I do think people tend to “brand” homeschoolers in certain negative ways, and see what they want to see.</p>
<p>“Do you feel like you would have been better off if your parents made the right decision of actually sending you to a real schoo?”</p>
<p>This question is very rude and immature. If you truly wish to initiate an intelligent conversation with “people with mature thinking skills”, I suggest you not start by insulting people and the choices they have made. </p>
<p>My daughter is a jr in high school, top 10 in her class of almost 500, captain of 2 varsity sports, president of Key Club and a recruited athlete for a club sport. She has been a Junior Olympic Champion and T20 nationally ranked. And she was homeschooled for 8 years prior to entering high school. Since she has been in school, I have ofter heard the statement, “I would have never guessed she was homeschooled”. I believe that people mean it as a compliment, but I don’t take it as one. It assumes that my daughter is an anomaly in the homeschooling community, which she is not. </p>
<p>I know many bright, talented, socially mature, well-adjusted young men and women from wonderful families that choose homeschooling for a variety of reasons. And I know a few who are socially awkward, relatively isolated and immature. I believe these kids would have been this way whether they were homeschooled or not. My point is, the community of homeschoolers is no different than the community of traditional schoolers. There are all kinds of kids from all kinds of families with all kinds of skillsets and all kinds of talents. To imply that they would have been better off if their “parents made the right decision of actually sending you to a real schoo?” is ridiculous!</p>
<p>The thing is, kids who are years ahead academically are often years ahead socially. When my son returned to school in 6th grade I asked him what it was like. He laughed and said, “A lot like Lord of the Flies.” My daughter, who was then a 5th grader said, “It’s fun, but really kind of sad…and insulting.” Oddly enough, they’ve always had lots of friends. Go figure.</p>
<p>By high school, the rest of the kids have usually caught up.</p>
<p>When my older ones were homeschool (and my little one is now) people used to ask us all the time, “What about socialization???” My husband used to say, “Oh, don’t worry, we’re teaching them to swear and be disrespectful and materialistic at home.” I would usually say something like, “You WANT your kids socialized at school???”</p>
<p>My kids thank me OFTEN for having them out of school when they were. It has made all the difference. No topic was off limits when they were at home, and they learned in a very Harkness style. Workbooks were not allowed at our kitchen table. They gorged themselves when they were homeschooled and that has carried them though the academic famine that their public school has been to them.</p>
<p>There have never been any social issues at all…ever.</p>
<p>^^^Love your husband’s answer!!! My answer was similar to yours.</p>
<p>Neato…I agree with you. I home schooled my d from 6th-8th grades and got the same crazy questions about being with her peers. But in traditional school she was not with her intellectual peers just her age peers which with some kids are years apart.</p>
<p>Like most home schooled kids my d spent almost 20 hours per week on her dancing, read 1 or 2 novels per week outside of school reading, didnt watch tv, took college classes and did community service.</p>
<p>I admit I was able to control her crowd of friends, which I feel was a smart thing to do at that age and in our living environment. </p>
<p>I know she will be fine in bs. She manages time better than most adults. Will she get homesick, likely, but we all miss home when we are away, at some point.</p>
<p>I’d love to be homeschooled(at least for a few years) if Chinese parents think it’s a good idea. (sadly they never do)</p>
<p>fishymom, That question is clearly meant for the homeschooled students as to what their opinions are. It’s wonderful that the parents opinions are posted, but it’s nice to hear first hand from the students as to what they think. It’s like a mom says my kid is doing great and the kid says my mom makes me work 12 hrs a day. I like your screen name though as fishy as it may sound.</p>
<p>I think homeschooling success depends mostly on the child in question, whoever is their teacher, and the relationship between those two individuals. </p>
<p>If a parent (assuming that the parent is the teacher, as in most senarios) is patient and skillful enough to be alble to handle being a teacher to their child, a parent to their child and a friend to their child, and the child is OK with their parent filling all those roles, then homeschooling can work out really well. :)</p>
<p>However, in situations where the parent is too overprotective or where the child feels suffocated and limited by his/her homeschooling environment, things don’t tend to work out. :(</p>
<p>Sadly, most of the homeschooled children I’ve ever met have had homeschooling experiences more like the second than the first. :(</p>
<p>I admire my mother’s endless toils to teach me all I know.
She definitely does not have a short leash on me (anymore). When we go to the capital city I am free to roam where I please. When in Europe I go gallivanting about. I admire that my mother trusts that I am smart enough to stay out of trouble.</p>
<p>And no, home schooled kids are not socially insecure dweebs like we’re stereotyped to be. In fact, we might be some of the loudest, most fun, creative and energetic people you will ever know! :)</p>
<p>My parents began homeschooling me 11 years ago for the very purpose of socialization. (Academic opportunity was another, very important, reason, but not quite as pressing at the time.)</p>