Horrible freshman year and alternative options?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I just finished my freshman year at Cal (UCB) and to be honest it went over very badly. For personal reasons I spent my first year in an apartment and so I didn't make any friends at all. I pretty much failed my whole year (although my GPA didn't tank too badly since I took most of them P/NP). I feel like I either chose the wrong college or I just went because everyone else in high school was going to college even without knowing what the hell I want to do with my life. I'm in a major I don't want to be in, I didn't take to the environment very well and the thought of going back next year makes me so stressed out. I know I got very lucky to be accepted to a prestigious school, but I've felt multiple times throughout this whole year that it's just wrong for me. I was thinking of dropping out before my sophomore year and doing some internship, foreign exchange, working abroad, getting a temporary job for experience, etc. before maybe applying to another college that is more laid back.</p>

<p>I was restricted a lot during high school, my parents had total control over all the classes and extracurricular activities I did, and pretty much all my life I was forced to study inside 24/7. Now I don't know what I want to do because I never had the chance to really explore my passions - to be honest sometimes I don't even know what I'm passionate about. I tend to lean toward the creative side (music, art, film, etc.) but I've never really developed skills in that area, and as a lot of people know, it's extremely hard to make a living in any creative industry. The only other area I might consider besides those listed would be some type of Asian/Asian American studies/languages. </p>

<p>A lot of people scoff at me when I say I want to take some time off to discover who I am. I've been advised to just suck it up and choose any "tolerable" major so I can just get a job afterwards. But I feel like I'll be wasting my time/money if I just continue to torture myself through something I just can't stand. It's gotten to the point that I have zero motivation to study or finish my work at all, when usually I can get things done very fast and thoroughly if I have a genuine interest in it. As silly as it sounds I want to do something that I love, I just haven't found it yet.</p>

<p>However I'm having problems as to HOW I am going to spend this "gap year" before applying to another college when I still don't know what I want to do. Should I just go back to my local CC and complete the GEs? I want to go traveling and such, study/work abroad but not many places will take you with only a HS diploma right? Are there any ideas of what I should do after dropping out? I feel like I wouldn't accomplish anything taking another year of college if I don't know what I want to do and my parents have been pressuring me about our financial situation. I want to get out there and do things instead of studying something just to "get by."</p>

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<p>In some sense, if you are going to rely on your parents for financial support you have to bend to their will somewhat. If nothing else, working a part time job and taking a few classes at CC and spending the rest of your time just screwing around or doing whatever (as long as you don’t shut yourself in your apartment) might be a good option. I don’t know what your parents feel about that, but there’s probably a better chance of you “finding yourself” that way than there is doing the same thing next year that failed for you last year. If nothing else, paying a ton of money to do something you don’t like and don’t want to do isn’t going to get you anywhere in the long run, so don’t do it.</p>

<p>What are you doing this summer?</p>

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<p>Thanks so much for the reply.</p>

<p>If I have to go back to CC, my parents would want me to come back to my hometown to save living expenses, and my town is basically very small, boring and dead. So while I will probably work part-time and take classes at CC, there probably won’t be much else to do back home besides helping out around the house. The major reason why I DON’T want to go back is because of financial reasons - like you said I see no point in paying so much money when I don’t know what I want to do.</p>

<p>This summer I will be out of town visiting family and maybe taking some “fun” CC classes to explore what area of study I want to do. There’s no guarantee I will find “my passion” in the short amount of time that I have and that’s what worries me the most. I feel a little time crunch in choosing my major/life path/career by the end of this summer/end of my gap year.</p>

<p>My parents would probably be willing to finance a year abroad but I don’t know of any programs that would accept a post-high schooler without a college degree.</p>

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<p>You just finished your freshman year in college did you not? Many study abraod options take sophmore and up :/</p>

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<p>That’s true icedragon but unfortunately the study abroad registration deadline for my university already passed for my sophomore year :/</p>