<p>Hey guys, so I won't go on and on but in a nutshell here is my situation.</p>
<p>I probably didn't think it out too well when I first chose colleges, and my parents were pretty insistent that I go to a small private religious school. I didn't really object, since I thought a small school might be nice since it would foster a tight community, it would be easier to make friends, etc.</p>
<p>Which in many ways is actually true. I have thankfully met a couple people who I would consider to be lifelong friends. Had is not been for them, I honestly don't think I could ever have made it as far as I have in my college career and I don't even want to think of where I would be.</p>
<p>However, the problem I have with my school is twofold. First, I just downright don't like it. It's small, pretty much nothing ever happens, rumors spread like wildfire, the student body often seems very close minded on issues, etc.
Second, I feel I kind of did not get off to a good start at all my freshman year...it was a pretty miserable year altogether, I quickly grew to hate the school, and I ended up reacting to my uncomfortableness and homesickness in ways I probably shouldn't have. I drank a lot (something I'm normally not even characterized by), met a lot of people who I thought would be good friends but in the end weren't good friends at all, and discovered I'm way more introverted than I realized I was. My depression probably didn't help either.</p>
<p>I felt alienated from my school. I would have panic attacks in the small cafeteria, feeling like all eyes were on me and that I would never fit in. I felt like throwing up, and I felt like completely giving up.</p>
<p>By some miracle, I made it through freshman year with a good GPA. I worked at school over the summer, and I told my parents I was toying with the the thought of transferring, several times explaining to them that I didn't like my school at all.</p>
<p>But I feel they never really thought I meant it 100%, and to this day when I say I don't like my school I feel like all they think is it's just me being a pessimist and I should just suck it up and get a new outlook on life.</p>
<p>I just feel horrible about the whole situation. I would love nothing more than to transfer to a much bigger school and start fresh. However, my parents seem to have this obsession with small private schools (seeing they both went to one) and no amount of convincing seems to sway them otherwise.</p>
<p>I went back to school this year, hoping things would be better. In some ways they are, and I work two jobs on campus and try to make the best of it but I still don't like the school and with each day that passes I feel more and more sick and depressed with the thought that I will graduate from a college I never liked and only managed to have a marginal social life at.</p>
<p>Oh, and I am a first semester junior (meaning I will be a junior next fall semester then a senior, since I transferred in with some community college credits).</p>
<p>I tried to keep this short. I am just depressed and desperate and feel I've done everything in my power to make my college experience better this second year but it's just not working. Any advice and help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.</p>