How are parents holding up?

<p>I know this application cycle is coming down to the deadline, and I was curious as to how everyone is holding up?</p>

<p>This is our third time at bat, with our two older children already boarding, so we’re at peace. Then again, we’re not a HADES (or whatever the current acronym is) family. She’ll be denied at some places, for sure (very modest SSATs), but we’re hoping she’ll be admitted to at least two schools, for the sake of having options. She has a #1 choice, and we’re happy with it, but experience has shown us that the school they like on application isn’t always the one they come out of the store with after revisit day.</p>

<p>It’s HADES or GLADCHEMMS</p>

<p>We don’t have a dog in this fight (will be applying next fall), but I do wonder if anyone got a sense of the number of applicants this year. I was reading on CC that last year had a very large application pool (perhaps record size?), and was wondering if the trend has continued. I would have thought that this economy would have kept the applicant pool down. Or, maybe a larger number than usual are applying for financial aid? Things are still very tight in our part of the country.</p>

<p>Actually, it’s the opposite. Once MIT, for instance, announced that they were adopting a policy that made tuition free for families making under $75,000 the applications went way up. The pool has been growing every year since. Same with Exeter. Once they developed a specific endowment for middle class scholarships, it became harder to gain admittance because more families could afford it.</p>

<p>It’s not just the economy, but the significant erosion in options locally. Even among local private schools, the economy hit many of the wealthy families very hard and a lot of them were asking for scholarship support for the first time. With dollars stretched, it’s driving parents to look for more options. Depending on the BS - with FA - some families are finding it cheaper to go to BS than to their local elites.</p>

<p>Hence - families are motivated to hedge their bets and put their students in schools with consistent outcomes. </p>

<p>But don’t rule out the kids. I never brought up the subject of BS in our household because I didn’t think we could stretch the budget that far. She began reading the alumni bulletins and unbeknownst to me started researching on her own. And found out - especially by reading this board - that there were a lot of kids like her fed up with their current school situations and applying. So she began lobbying years in advance to go. </p>

<p>So I think, as word gets out, more kids are becoming aware of their options and lobbying their parents.</p>

<p>The other factor is that many public schools are slashing arts, athletic and enrichment programs in an effort to balance their budgets at a time of reduced local tax income. Families who have heretofore been happy in public may be willing to make the leap to private if class sizes are up and offerings are down at their local schools.</p>

<p>Good points, both. It has been really sad watching the public schools around here cut & cut & cut. And at the private school I know best, some continuing families have gone on financial aid for the first time.</p>

<p>Since this discussion has veered toward finances, please note that we’re a FA family. We have a sense of our finances with two children returning for their third years (schools have been consistent), but our new entrant will alter the equation–though just how we cannot yet know. The eldest two are in different schools, and our third child did not apply to either of their schools.</p>

<p>Honestly I’m a wreck. I’m worried that my son’s dream school wont take him and if they do, I’m worried I will miss him terribly.</p>

<p>i think my mom is more worried than i am…</p>

<p>@ylaxw1123,
Lol my parents are the opposite. My mom told me, “How could these schools not take you? Just relax…”</p>

<p>Good attitude, ifax. The process is out of the family’s control once the apps are submitted, anyway.</p>

<p>As 2kidsnoanswers and Sue22 suggest, it’s the narrowing of the public school curriculum that drove us from the system about four years ago. But there are no private HS options and it was our oldest who started the BS journey. To me, it’s as obvious as the nose on my face, but people around here still look at us like “how could you…?” both in terms of sending kids away and abandoning the beloved, if beleaguered, public system. When I was growing up the image that my parents and others painted of BS was very negative, so it has been quite a journey to the other side…</p>

<p>^^ Yeah, it is definitely tough living in a part of the country where boarding school is uncommon. I still get double-takes when I mention it. Then silence. You can kind of hear what they are thinking, 'What on earth did the kid do…what kind of parent are you…why did you send him away…so it’s a school for delinquents?" Sigh. I usually don’t try to explain. Fortunately, I knew nothing about boarding schools before we began this journey, so I didn’t have any preconceptions of my own to fight.</p>

<p>yeah no one understands why i’m applying to boarding school. the concept is so out of this world to my public school friends. and ifax, my mom does this thing where she makes the situation sound 48539485738495x worse than it is, so when a good outcome comes it seems 39845739457349875493875x better. psychological trick that she doesn’t even realize.</p>

<p>@ylaxw1123,
That sounds terrible! I’m really glad my parents aren’t like that. Lol, my parents are what Amy Chua calls “American parents.” They try to “boost my self-esteem.” At the beginning of this process my parents acted like yours though.</p>

<p>I agree…boarding school wasn’t our idea, we never considered it, but as daugter BEGGED and BEGGED, we thought, why not, check it out. To our surprise, we jumped on board, applied for FA, and we are thrilled. I really believe when its the kids idea, you will have success. Many of the kids are her school are doing okay…all of they were “forced” to go, so don’t think that a fancy boarding school is going to “inspire” or “straighten out” your student. The student that you had when he/she was 11 will be the student you have a 16…when it comes to motivation, work ethic and ambition</p>

<p>To answer the OP’s question, as a parent, I am holding just fine … by “thinking deep” why PS is a better way than BS. So far, I am almost convinced, and would try to pull all the stops to convince D coming M10 :-)</p>

<p>muf123…I was right there with you…last year. The tough part is when you have more than 1 kids waiting, and one gets the “YES, you are IN!” letter and the other gets the “we would like to put you on the waiting list” or like friends of hours, the rejection letter. UGH…“a mother is only as happy as her least happy child” So its a tough position to be in. Friends have a high school senior waiting to hear about acceptance, while he sophmore brother is getting recruiting letters for his sport…UGH. Lots of tension there too!</p>

<p>^^^Not necessarily true, kidwaits. My D had a few ‘issues’ which she learned to overcome and by now has a great work ethic, is tremendously self-motivated, and knows what she wants and how to go get it. She also knows how to ask for help <em>before</em> she gets over her head. She has taken new risks, managed the inevitable disappointments, and worked out a social life that is just her speed. The school aided and supported her in a way that I doubt a bigger public school would have.</p>