How are private high schools better preparing kids over public schools?

Parents Forum
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<p>I go to an elite New England Prep School where the tuition alone is $37,000, higher than some colleges. I came from an urban area and received a lot of financial aid. I am a rising senior and now I am starting the college process. Although Prep/Private school seems the way to go, I am starting to think whether Prep school was beneficial (think not regret). I have a 3.2 GPA in Highschool but in Public school my GPA was a 4.2. the average GPA that got into Harvard was a 3.7 and so may kids go to elite institutions. My school is really competitive whithin each other and I have had several late night study sessions. I remember asking a kid once who took a test how it went, and he told me it was really easy and not worth studying. I later get a C on that test.</p>

<p>Going into college, it is going to be really easy for me and I am going to be extremely prepared. Junior year in my school is harder than freshman year of college. Although I may not get into HYP because I have lower grades that had I stayed in Public school, I know that I have become a more intellectual person and a better citizizen and student thanks to my school. I have been able to participate in a Chinese exchange program and gone to Dubai for free thanks to my school. </p>

<p>Public school is aimed to get the kids to graduate high school and then either put them into a public/state/community college or into the workforce where they can at least contribute somewhat to society. My private school aims to put kids into elite colleges to mold future leaders in Business/Government/Law/Medicine etc.</p>

<p>So I strongly recommend Private school, but it deffinetly is not for everyone.</p>

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<p>JHS- since I surmise that you are in the Philly metro area- I’d have to disagree that there is any less drug use or drinking at a suburban public school like Lower Merion High School than there is at a suburban private schools like Shipley, Episcopal, Friends Central etc. And Harriton, another public school? I’ve heard that kids commonly refer to it as “herion-ton.” Remember that’s where Andy Reid’s kids went. These suburban high schools all draw from the same socio-economic community, where drug use and drinking is part of the culture and kids have plenty of money to obtain these substances. </p>

<p>And its not as if sending your kids to publc vs. private prevents them from interacting socially with kids in the other type of school system. Out on the Main Line, there are plenty of friendships and shared social activites among public and private school kids. In fact, lots of them hang out together on the Belmont Plateau drinking and using drugs, apparently because the Philadelphia police are too busy with more serious crime problems than underage drinking or pot use. </p>

<p>Drug use and underage drinking are a problem, whether a parent chooses public or private school- and no matter what your choice you have to educate your kids as best you can and hope that they make good choices.</p>

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<p>soozievt: If my public school system was as willing to accommodate my children as well as yours accommodated your children, we probably wouldn’t have moved them to private school. And believe me, it wasn’t for lack of trying. We’d have the support of teachers, but once my kids got to middle school, the administration was much more obstructive and their assistance was needed because of scheduling. S1 was becoming a behavior problem in some classes because he was so bored, but the administration refused to see it that way. After advocating for him since first grade, with some success in elementary school, we reached our limit by the time he was finishing sixth grade. Sending him to private school was probably as much for our mental health as it was for his educational needs.</p>

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<p>"One reason (not the only one) was that she said there might be just as much drinking and drugs at the public school as at the private, but at least at the public school they didn’t talk about it all the time. "
-Looks like that this girl was with a wrong crowd at her private school. Schools that place 100% kids to 4 years colleges every single year do not have very many of them who spend too much time talking about drugs/alcohol, not that they do not do it, they do, I have no argument about it. But they know to maintain their high GPA and get their application filled with various EC’s. Otherwise parents remind them about their duty after paying huge tuitions.</p>

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<p>shellfell, I truly understand. Private schools are not an option for us here as there are none in commuting distance and we would not have had the funds for that. I don’t want to make this sound like our high school was so willing and so accommodating and how easy this all was. Believe me, it took a lot of advocating every step of the way to create changes and accommodations and to forge new paths. We never gave up and persisted in meeting our kids’ learning needs the best that we could arrange. I will say that our GC was also an advocate for effecting change for our girls. That helped. But it was not easy and we were forging pathways that had not been done before. We did make it happen in several capacities over the years. Also, once some things were done for D1, it forged some of the way for D2, though she also forged new things there that had never been done. Believe me, once in middle and high school, we met many obstructions but persisted. Our elementary school was great and wanted to meet their needs and even initiated that in some ways and we were not really advocating there as much as working together. But for MS and HS, we were politely asserting and advocating for some significant accommodations that we knew were essential for our kids.</p>

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<p>Good private schools are very strict on disciplin. DD’s school had suspended students reported drunk on local public high school parties while the students at those public high schools had no action taken against by the schools.</p>

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<p>^Lots of schools cannot do it. When school is tiny each head is counted. If they start loosing kids to other private schools, they will be finished, done. When class has 33 kids, each paying about $15K, loosing that 15, 30, 45k might be the end on one teacher’s position.</p>

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<p>I’ve worked extensively with private schools and I don’t see a lot of the drug culture there. Some years ago our district was coincidently pulled and polled along with my kid’s private school and the stats were compelling as to where the drugs and drinking were more prevalent. From what I was told this is typical of private/pubilc comparisons. One of the issues with a private school like ours was that our kids are scattered great distances, so to get together does often involve parental involvment and a lot of their social lives are at the school which provides them that venue. I can tell you that the kids are supervised by responsible adults more and that does cut down on the opportunities. They do still manage, that I know, but the stats show that it happens at an older age and less often. The kids in our school district find it a lot easier to get together and hang out, and do it a lot more. </p>

<p>Unfortunately a lot of the drugs and drinking comes at the time when they start to drive which is truly a deadly combination. </p>

<p>One thing I can truly say is that it is easier to control and supervise these kids when the go to such private schools just because the kids are spread out more. And that is a big plus in drug addiction issues as the younger they start, the harder the pull of the contraband. Not a lot of comfort, but in this difficult area, you go for every bit you can. </p>

<p>Also the private school really takes up your life and involves the parents and families heavily. The teachers also mingle with the kids and it cuts down on unsupervised time. Still each year, the school kicks out kids that have gotten caught with contraband. The publics are still stuck with the kids. They go to local program, but once they are out, they are back in school. I worked with the local program for 8 years, and I saw the stats. The public schools truly rule in terms of kids with these issues. </p>

<p>I was told by my kids that EVERYONE at their schools drank and indulged in all sorts of things. Simply not true. In their minds, everyone within sight were and so they said. When your kid tells you something like this, what he is likely saying is the S/HE is involved and is with a crowd that so indulges. </p>

<p>The other compelling stat that just jumps out is the % of kids that actually graduate college at that particular private which is just about 100% within 6 years. Our public has a great record, close to 100% going to college, but no where near completing college in 6 years. You don’t need to track to see that since you can just count the kids who have dropped out and can see that this is an issue. </p>

<p>When you have superstar kids like Soozie’s, you can go anywhere and not have to worry about these things, but with run of the mill kids that can go either way–they can do college level work, graduate and they can also get their head turned by the easy out of working a simple job and hanging out nights without much stress on their goals and accountability, you have to work the odds in your favor in terms of environment if you want the best chance of getting your kid through college. THough DH and I went to top 25 college and have degrees up the whazoo and all of our kids were raised to assume that they would go to college, the immediate, easier routes were tempting to our kids as they simply were not wired for academics. Believe me we tried, and I think sometimes that we were trying to make square pegs fit the round holes. But I could not imagine any of them doing anything more beneficial in the years between 18-22; if they could come up with something, I would have been more than willing to consider any alternatives that were productive. So peer pressure was truly a very powerful weapon for us. I don’t think my older ones or even my very good student would have gone to college had the norm in their schools been not to do so and that it was all right.</p>

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<p>If the acceptance rate to the private school is close to 50% to 70% then there is a lot of room for the school to play with. If they give up on disciplin or standard they may loose 100% of the students.</p>

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<p>^ (re: post # 166) Was the party a school-sponsored event of some kind? I don’t believe that public schools can discipline a child for something they do outside of school and unrelated to a school-sanctioned activity. That doesn’t mean the public schools are any less strict. It means the disciplinary rules/procedures/policies would be different for public/private schools.</p>

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<p>This creeps me out. Who is doing the reporting? How is it verified?</p>

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<p>jym626#170:
That’s make a big difference and that’s why I put up disadvantage of affluent or so called good public schools. There are lot more partying with alcohol and drugs in the affluent school district than in poorer school districts and they get by easily because public schools don’t enforce any action on non school sponsored activities but good private school do.</p>

<p>A big difference indeed.</p>

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<p>…which is why I said:</p>

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<p>and further,

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<p>I expect younger people to be careless about their reading tasks, but not adults. :)</p>

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<p>Public schools cannot discipline students for events that happen off school property at activities that are not school-sanctioned. I am not sure I agree that affluent public schols have a higher rate of drug/alcohol use amongst its students than poorer schools. Do you have data to support that statement?</p>

<p>Our kids’ school had an honor code (or maybe it was the code of conduct) that included required disclosure of illegal behavior. I don’t recall the specifics, but there was an expectation that some poor student who happened to be aroudn at the time some illegal activity was going on was expected to rat them out or risk getting accused of guilt by association or violation of the honor code. A real double bind which I have some problem with, to be honest. Our kids shouldnt be expected to be snitches. One of my older s’s friend became a pothead in HS. DS ended up ending the friendship, partly b/c he didnt use drugs at all and also in part b/c he didnt want to be in that position with the honor code. Yuk.</p>

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<p>I’ve seen many such reports. A simple search wil get you many such articles like:</p>

<p>[About</a> Affluence and Teen Drug Use | Columbus Juvenile Drug Crime Defense Attorney](<a href=“http://www.columbuscriminaldefensefirm.com/High-School-and-College-Cases/Affluence-Teen-Use.aspx]About”>http://www.columbuscriminaldefensefirm.com/High-School-and-College-Cases/Affluence-Teen-Use.aspx)</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.additudemag.com/adhd-web/article/659.html[/url]”>http://www.additudemag.com/adhd-web/article/659.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>I have personally seen private schools kick out celebrity, development, faculty, lifer students. Oh, yes, they will do it. As for public schools, you often cannot kick out the kid. You can restrict him, have penalties, but you can’t kick him out. That’s where the private school kids go when they are kicked out and the public school has to take them.</p>

<p>And I don’t believe there are more drugs and alcohol in the richer school scenes. My kids have hung around kids who were in the less affluent areas, and there is drug and contraband galore.</p>

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<p>That link (post 175) doesn’t say anything about the comparison of drug/alcohol use in affluent vs poor schools. If you are going to make a broad sweeping overgeneralization like that, you should be able to produce a peer-reviewed journal article to back it up. The “look it up yourself if you want” argument doesn’t fly. Sorry. If you’ve “seen many such reports” please post a few.</p>

<p>Sure there is , unfortunately, substance misuse in affluent schools. I believe it exists significantly in poor schools as well.</p>

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<p>Jym, you’d be surprised, as I have been, at the policies at our public high school. If a student is caught drinking outside of school and outside of a school sanctioned event, they will be disciplined such as being out of EC activities like sports, the play, and school trips. I recall a major incident several years before my kids were in HS here. There was some party with drinking at some cabin and the police busted the party and all the kids who were there (which was quite a lot) were out of ECs and could not go on the spring trip to Europe that many there were signed up to go on. The party had nothing to do with school, nor was it on school property. </p>

<p>I recall other parties that my kids did not attend (my kids were not allowed to attend parties not supervised by adults), where there was drinking and those caught were out of sports, and so on. </p>

<p>Actually, I don’t agree with this policy. I don’t think schools should be in charge of behavior that occurs outside of school time, school property and school sanctioned events. I think the consequences for these behaviors in these incidents lies with the parents or police. But in any case, your statement about public schools doesn’t apply to our rural public school which indeed gives out significant consequences for drinking incidents outside of school time, property, and events.</p>

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<p>jym626#177: In the second linkin #175</p>

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<p>From cases I have known, drinking and drugs are prevalent at boarding schools and many kids have indeed been kicked out of these schools for these behaviors and have had to go to a public school instead.</p>