I am a sophomore in college, I just finished my first semester. I have been shy and timid my whole life. I’m also a Introvert. I’m too shy to ask or answer questions during lecture, so I have to wait until after class or during the professors office hours to ask questions. And the most embarrassing thing is that when I have a attractive professor, I am so awkward around them and I say the most awkward things. It’s hard for me to have a casual conversation around a attractive guy. Like for example my professor asked me where I’m from and it took me a long time to answer and I kept stuttering. I just want to be able to speak up and be more confident in my life. I don’t have low self esteem, guys always compliment me, I don’t know why I’m like this. How can I change? Is it too late? Also if I don’t have any friends yet am I doomed? Is it too late to make lifelong friends and relationships?
Realize that you have value, and that your thoughts, opinions and ideas deserve to be shared. So participate or else you will short-change yourself, and others won’t have the benefit of your input.
Introverts have a richer inner life and they feel the social context of situations more intensely. So our own thoughts and feelings can sometimes overwhelm you and leave you with little energy to interact with others. One way to get beyond that is to purposely concentrate on the needs and fears of others – intentionally become a good listener and focus on the other person. That allows you to focus less on your own internal reactions.
Be glad that you have a rich internal conversation going on. Now share that depth with others.
The class that was agony, but totally helpful was public speaking. Just learning how to control creating has helped me control anxiety and nerves. If you have been socially shy and an introvert forever, don’t spend so change into social butterfly. Instead, learn how to manage situations. For emample, I find meet and greet beyond horrible!!! So, I go, get something to sip, float around the room, smile and nod and speak to those who speak to me. However, I learned to leave the group when I see others moving. So rather than following them around the room, I learned tosay not to meet you and move away. What has been helpful is learning to read social cues through listening and observation. Sit where you are comfortable, know the closest bathrooms, and engage when you are spoken to. Perhaps finding a church group such as the Newman group that have activities would help. Avoid what truly makes you distressed and anxious. For me, it was always a party or dance with loud music, shouting, dancing and so on, I all in a darkened room. Can’t think how attending large gatherings of people has diminished my life. Overall then, act within your comfort zone, make forays into small group activities with people with whom you are familiar, laugh and interact in can you believe interactions, find people you like by accepting safe overtures, and so on. Being social and involved, watching groups and behavior and learning, keeping your head up (don’t walk with your head looking down unless on treacherous ground) and remaining ready to engage are all useful. Learning how to survive and belong is very satisfying and helps navigate the workplace. Living life happily, safely, and comfortably is possible as an introvert. As said above, also focus on the needs of others keep us from constantly reviewing myself and what makes me uncomfortable and speaking to them about their interests, fears, and need for help remove your fears from the situation. Please understand that life can be interesting, fun, socially engaging and wonderful in both public and private activities.