<p>I'm a current junior who's looking to go to an Ivy/Stanford/etc. I'm currently playing a sport, but in a few weeks the season will be over. My plan was to do lots of things that I couldn't during sports season: take classes at a community college, get an internship, get a job, maybe coach some younger kids (over the course of the rest of the year, not all at once!) </p>
<p>The problem is, my mother thinks that after season is over, I should concentrate solely on my studies. </p>
<p>I think that if I manage my time well I'll get good grades anyways, and there's no point in just having a 4.0/2400 because I won't stand out in the applicant pool. Anyways, the activities that I want to do aren't SUPER excruciatingly hard - for example, for the classes that I want to take, I know several kids who have taken them/similar classes and say they're super easy, and those kids are known to be...less studious than I am. </p>
<p>So how I can convince her to let me do things, not just study? From a parent's point of view, what do you think?</p>
<p>I think you should focus on doing SOME of those things, or somehow incorporating several into one element. What are you considering for a major in college?</p>
<p>You’re right: you should be doing activities outside of school. This shows you’re a balanced person, and expands your circle of friends. </p>
<p>But, I have some disappointing news for you. You should have been doing this all along. It looks rather pithy that you start this in the winter of your junior year. I’d think most ivies want to see you have some of those activities plus leadership plus awards to set you apart. It won’t be nearly as impressive that you’ve only been doing them for a year.</p>
<p>I suggest you make a plan of when you can do these things, so it makes sense, rather than adding them all on at once.</p>
<p>Tell your mom you need more than just good grades to get into the schools you are thinking about. You need to be well rounded which comes from doing something more than just studying! You’ve got some great ideas…maybe pick one or two and see if you can reach a compromise and test the waters.</p>
<p>My D. was heavily involved in EC’s all thru HS (very small private with rigorous academics). Her sport alone was taking 3 hrs/night, including Sat. and many weekend out-of-town and middle of the week meets. No, it was not seasonal, it was year around, including summers. Then, of course, piano, Newspaper editor, art, volunteering, job (last 2 in a summer). As long as you manage your time and operate on priority list (#1 is academics), it is all very doable. The main argument is that if you do not learn to manage time effectively now, then you are in trouble in college, where it is much more to juggle and classes are much more challenging. Well, as far as my D. is concerned, all of her activities, every single one of them has helped her tremendously. Sport is such a character builder, writing skills has helped her in every single class and tons of various applications, piano - she ended up having music minor at college, which she enjoys a lot. But academics is alwasys #1. Yes, you will stand out with GPA=4.0 and very high test scores, these are priority #1. D. (college senior) has graduated #1 in her HS class, has never had a singe “B” in her life and has been accepted to several Medical Schools. Your parents want the best for you no matter how it comes thru. Speak politely to them pointing out that you believe that your EC’s will benefit you and your academic performance. They did in case of my D. who continued being involved in lots of them at college. Without them and maintaining her high performance in academics she would not be where she is now. The best wishes.</p>
<p>How can you convince parents to let the leash out?</p>
<p>1) Be mature in daily living tasks (making the bed, dealing with laundry, helping with dinner stuff). Too many teens blow off these tasks as “trivial”, not realizing they register as “immature” to parental eyes. </p>
<p>2) Be respectful. Ask your mother’s opinion on what she wants to see for the remainder of the year. Listen carefully. What are her fears? What are her needs? (like she needs childcare for a younger sibling or she’s afraid to let you use the car). How can you address those fears and needs? (Hint: yelling at her that she’s stupid would not be a great approach). </p>
<p>3) Ask for help. Ask your mom to look over your resume and help you compare it to other Ivy league applicants (get some books about applying to the Ivy league from your guidance counselor or the library. An older one is “A is for Admission” – but still valid in laying out the process). Enlist your mother’s advice in prepping for the following areas:
a) GPA
b) Extra curriculars
c) letters of reference
d) SAT and SAT II scores</p>
<p>Get her opinion on each category. If she doesn’t know much, then help her build her understanding. Show her the College Board College Match feature on the computer and ask her help to research “match, safety and reach” lists for you. Make her your ally in getting ready for the application season. </p>
<p>Lastly, if you can, get one of Amy Borkowsky’s CD’s of phone calls from her mother. They are hilarious – and you can laugh with your own mother about how hard it is for a mom to let her baby girl grow up. The CD’s are on Amazon.<br>
Good luck!</p>
<p>One compromise could be to pick a few things that don’t require long term commitment like sports did. That will make your parents feel better that you could drop them if junior year academics are overwhelming (as they often are).</p>
<p>I have been told that this is who gets into Stanford:
Imagine a pie cut into 7 slices. Each slice represents a specific cohort of candidates, as follows (in no particular order):</p>
<ol>
<li>Top athletes (by that I mean a national champ/Olympic medal winner)</li>
<li>Legacy (someone whose family are alumni and have contributed millions)</li>
<li>Brilliant (you started a company in HS and sold it for $3M before graduating)</li>
<li>Hook (you won the Intel science comp AND play first violin for the local symphony)</li>
<li>You’re a URM with excellent stats</li>
<li>You’re dirt poor with excellent stats</li>
<li>You’re a 1st generation college candidate with excellent stats</li>
</ol>
<p>Thanks for the replies everyone! You guys have some great advice that I’ll be sure to take into consideration.</p>
<p>@Sylvan, I’m thinking about majoring (or possibly double majoring) in psychology and/or business.</p>
<p>@Limabeans, I do have SOME extracurriculars that I’ve already but doing, but there are several that I couldn’t before because of my age. For example, I’ve wanted to take psych classes at the local community college for a really long time, but you have to be 16, and I just turned 16. They’re really strict about it - they even kicked one of my classmates out even though she’s really brilliant just because she wasn’t 16. </p>
<p>@Pizzagirl, it might be cultural - I am, after all, Asian, and in my parents’ native country, all that matters for college admissions is literally just one test score. So people blow off schools and don’t do any extracurriculars and just study all day for that one test.</p>
<p>Well, call to their attention that it isn’t like it that here. Certainly they understand that they came to America expecting that some things would be different. One of those things is college admissions, where it’s not just about the numbers. Is there a school guidance counselor who could help get the message across?</p>
<p>What about logic here? You normally play a sport and do well in school, right? Let’s say 10 hrs a week for your sport. So why would using the same 10 hours on something else when the sport is over change your school performance? Could you actually do better if you had more time?</p>
<p>Mizditi - I had guessed that you were Asian from the title of the thread, even before I read any of it. You need to get your parents in touch with othr savvy parents who are familiar with the U.S. higher education system. My D’s best friend is the daughter of Asian immigrants. They still believe that their kids might go to top universities if they don’t spend much time on ECs. I keep trying to convince them that their kids will go to top universities only if they spend more time on ECs.</p>
<p>I think the OP should insist that his/her parents do two things:</p>
<p>1) look carefully at the the Common Data Sets that is found on the website of many colleges.
(go to any college web site and do a search on the term “common data set”.
Section C7 of the CDS notes the various criteria used by the school for undergraduate admissions and the importance of each criteria in the admissions process.)</p>
<p>Tell them until they read it they are not going to understand how the college admissions process works in the U. S. It really gives an insider’s view of what goes on in the guidance office of an American high school, and how a gifted guidance counselor is able to help each student find the right fit. And how important a well written essay is.</p>
<p>Moderation is the key. I didn’t let my kids work during the school year because of hefty EC commitments. I would suggest finding an area where you could mentor or coach young students in an area you have interest/capability. This could be sports, academics, etc. Something to keep a continuing narrative in your applications. It shows depth of interest. Your parents may be more willing to allow time for mentoring thinking you can ‘cut back’ your hours if it does get to be too much. You can contact your local youth sports league to ask about asst. coaching, or your local elementary school about tutoring or help in an after school club. A cc class is better done in the summer for that reason IMHO.</p>
<p>I have one son who has interned in the summer, however during the school year one of his favorite ECs is mentoring elementary school students in a similar team that he participates in. He has built a great relationship with the students, teachers, and parents. It’s so much fun to go and work with the kids who really enjoy him so much. He always comes home with a smile on his face. I can not recommend it enough. It is a huge stress relief for him.</p>