How can I convince my parents I'm mature enough to handle athletics and academics?

Parents Corner
1

<p>I just graduated high school in June, and my college situation is a little crazy right now. I had gotten into one of the state schools, but my parents were apprehensive about my leaving in the fall because I was not the most academically responsible person in my senior year. I slacked off, barely managed to scrape good grades. It was just senioritis. I was so disinterested in my classes and the people around me, but, honest to god, I had plans to buckle down once college came around. I actually wanted to. I wanted to do better and I really was.</p>

<p>However, after some AP test scores came in, I realized I was only one class short of a sophomore standing in college. I talked it over with my parents, and with some convincing on their part, I decided to take a year off before going to a four year school and finishing out my freshman/sophomore years in one year at a junior college then transfer to my state school as a junior next year. I set up classes at a local community college, and I was set.</p>

<p>Here's where things start giving me a headache. I've been playing soccer for all my life. The sport is the one thing that kept me going through some rough times growing up, I love the camaraderie, and I fell most confident when I'm out on the field...
I was at a tournament last weekend and another Junior college coach offered me a spot on his team. This new junior college is about an hour away from where I live, but I could live with my aunt, who is twenty minutes away from the campus. I could play soccer, get all my classes; exactly what I've idealized since I was a kid. Granted, I would need to buy a car in the next few weeks, but that is doable.</p>

<p>The only thing about this second option is that my parents are against it. They believe that, with my performance in my senior year, soccer will be too much of a distraction for me and they want me to stay with the local community college and at home. I completely understand that academics come first, and I honestly want to do well and I plan on working my tail off to do everything and transfer within a year, as well as play soccer. But they don't trust me. The only way I can actually prove this to them, they say, is by going to the local college and showing that I can do my work. But by then, obviously, it will be too late for me to play soccer.</p>

<p>How can I sit down with my parents and convince them that I am going to be mature, that I can handle playing soccer and finishing my classes? My attitude is so completely different from the one I had in high school, but they don't believe me. What can I say to make them understand?</p>

2

<p>Being a scholar-athlete is all about time management and discipline. You have to put a schdule down on paper that shows how you will use each hour in the week: classes, studying, soccer practice, sleep and social life. Put it on paper. Demonstrate to them that you have the disclipline to stick to the schedule for a full year.</p>

3

<p>What is that saying about how the past is an indicator of future behaviors ? Ask your parents what you can do to convince them ! People usually don’t mature overnight .</p>

4

<p>It is true, you have put yourself in a tough spot, Chandy. You now have a track record for the last yr or 2 of being a slacker. I assume you are smart, willing, capable, but that you have chosen to just slide by. Telling your parents that you plan to really buckle down later is not convincing. Often times our only guage on guessing future performance is knowing past performance. Saying you plan to do better in the future is easy, doing it is hard. Ask yourself- what have you done lately to show you are ready to buckle down right now? Or is the buckling down still floating in the future somewhere? “I’d promise to pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today” as an old cartoon used to say. Not convincing.</p>

<p>I am guessing you have earned the money to buy the car, right? Because if your plan is for someone else to buy your car so you can play soccer, that is further evidence you aren’t ready yet for the discipline to be a scholar-athlete. If that was the case, it would appear you expect others to make YOUR dream happen.
I understand with credits, much of your freshman yr was nearly completed- but I don’t see how that is relevant to taking a yr off. Why wouldn’t a real “go-getter” want to go to college right away, so he could be a graduate in 3 yrs? When you choose to delay college, you don’t appear to be a go-getter. You could be, but you don’t appear to be. This weighs against you in your parents’ eyes.</p>

<p>Do you think soccer is likely a career move? Will it be your financial support? Or, does it open doors at colleges that were otherwise closed to you, that might lead to better life opportunities than the colleges you’re in now? Or does soccer open doors at different colleges only to play more soccer? There are many wonderful things to say about soccer, athleticism, etc., But if it isn’t going to be your career, and if it isn’t going to help you in your career, then you need to look and see if it is holding you back from your career.</p>

5

<p>I rarely chime in on these kind of threads, because usually I fear there is much more to the story that the kids don’t divulge. My gut tells me that is the case again with this one.</p>

<p>But if Chandy810 is a halfway responsible kid, it’s hard to imagine that his parents wouldn’t support his move to the juco to play soccer. I mean, the kid has basically already saved them a year’s worth of college by gaining college credits in high school. Most parents would love to have that situation.</p>

<p>I would think Chandy could get his parents to approve of a one semester trial period at the new juco chasing his dream to continue to play soccer. If he doesn’t make the grades there, then bring him back home or encourage him to go forward without their support if that is his choice.</p>

<p>Sorry Chandy, but something just doesn’t sound right. Either you have done more to lose your parents trust, or they are ridiculously selfish. It’s not like you’re asking for them to support you moving across the country to attend a $50,000 per year private school.</p>

6

<p>About not going to a four year:
I made the joint decision with my parents for several reasons. First, there is a lot going on in my family right now. My dad is on the knife’s edge of losing his job, my grandparents are dying, plus other stuff I don’t want to get in to. Also, the choice to stay home for another year would save our family plenty of money. Of course I want to go to my four year, but it’s a more logical decision for the people involved to stay home for another year. My parents told me they are glad I’m not going to my four year because they don’t think I’d be mature enough to succeed.</p>

<p>I’m doing my very best to show I can be responsible, but in the middle of summer, it’s kinda difficult to do. I’ve been looking for jobs and applying, but nothing solid on that yet simply because places aren’t hiring. I would walk through fire to be able to show them I’m mature enough, that I can handle it next year; I would do anything to show I’m mature enough, but where I’m at, there just really isn’t that opportunity. Hence, the question: How can I demonstrate it, or what can I tell them?</p>

<p>One thing that may be a factor:
I’m their oldest daughter. Wayy back before I even considered going to a junior college, my dad was asking me if I would want to just go to a CC and stay home with the family for a year or two. I don’t know how much that would factor into it, but still.</p>

7

<p>Bump, I really need advice!</p>

8

<p>I definitely don’t see how you can afford a car when your dad may lose his job, and when the car is for the luxury of a sport that will cost you money. There are always opportuniites to show responsibility. No job means you have time to help out at home- going above and beyond your usual chores to free up time for your parents to deal with their sick parents. Being mature means looking beyond yourself and your wants- being able to see someone else’s needs even if they deny them. It’s too late now, but you and your family were foolish to skip the 4 year college, especially since it would have put you a year closer to a degree and the improved earning power. You probably would have been engaged in learning with the stimulation of the college. Show your maturity the coming year and get the top grades, even if you are bored.</p>

9

<p>The key to this situation is the coach of the junior college team. Get him to talk to your parents and explain how he will ensure that you keep up with your academics. If he really will do this, you may be less of a slacker at the new school than at the other one.</p>