How can I help my friend?

<p>I want to help my best friend get a college degree, but I'm not sure if he's determined enough to do the hard work. I've know him for years, we went to elementary school together but different high schools. Both Catholic private, but my high school definetely had a better academic program and a higher percantage of students going to top colleges. Both of us always talked about going to college. Though, he never performed well enough to show he actually wants to go. I just finished my freshman year of college so I know I'm on the right path. However, I am highly concerned for my friend. He's always been an average C student. As a result, he literally almost did not get his high school degree (though his high school was ridiculously stricter than mine). </p>

<p>I was fortunate enough to get a grant from my college so I can afford it, but he on the other hand currently finds it very difficult to cover college tuition. Therefore, he plans on going to a community college first. Although I'm still suspicious about his reasons, he did even attend the local community college this whole year. He told me it was money issues and other important reasons, but I still feel like he could have tried harder to enroll. He's still having money issues now, but he's fortunately starting school this fall at the community college. </p>

<p>He's completed the most important step by attending college, but he has not considered what he needs to do next. He hasn't created a "plan" yet, which is obviously very crucial. He has not decided what his major should be. I'm trying to help him decide right away so he doesn't spend a whole decade in a community college. He also doesn't know where to go after, but he told me most likely a state school. I feel guilty for not helping him much, but I do have to study in college. </p>

<p>Also, I'm guessing his high school did not give him much proper guidance in the whole college process, which makes me extremely angry at that school. I know tons of people who went to his high school and several ended up in a community college for years or did not go to college at all. I want to motivate him, but I can only go so far because he's the one who really needs to want it. I'm not the most ambitious person in college, and I don't have a huge passion for learning either. However, I'm still in college partly because I like what I'm learning and because I feel the need to get a college degree to succeed in life. I'm very concerned for him right now because of the economy and other obstacles, and I just hope he does not go down the wrong path. I apologize if this post is too long, but I would really appreciate it if anybody can give me some advice. Thank you!</p>

<p>If your in clubs and stuff, take him to meeting. Have him ahang out with you on campus, to make them feel like they should be ther. But push come to shove if they don't want to work, they ain't going to work.</p>

<p>i would suggest him to work at a low paying wage job. By doing so, he can see what his life will most likely be like if he does not go to college. There isn't much you can or could've done. It is really his choice. It is just a matter of time as to when he will wake up and face reality.</p>

<p>He is currently working with a minimum wage job and still struggles to pay for tuition, so now he's trying to get a 2nd job. Not only that, I've also reminded him numerous times that the economy nowadays won't be friendly to ppl our age. He has agreed with me, but I dunno I just don't see that drive in him.</p>

<p>While your concern for your friend is admirable, at some point you have to stop (s)mothering him. We have to follow our own paths and figure things out for ourselves. Not everyone is ready for college right out of high school.</p>

<p>You are just as inexperienced as him. Both of you are just kids. There is no need for you to be giving him life advice. Just be his friend and support him instead of trying to superimpose certain standards.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>All you can do is encourage him</p>

<p>I think Selk21 gave good advice. Though I disliked my first college and am transferring next fall, I still feel a little pang of loss when I remember the activities and friends I had at my ex-college. The culture of my department was a big factor in my overall drive and social satisfaction.</p>

<p>I also agree that it's best to be his peer and not his coach. I was worrying today about my sisters the same way you're worrying about your friend, and it suddenly clicked for me that though I want the best for them and want them to have as many opportunities as possible, I can't dictate what they find meaningful. And in the end, though attending college will likely yield more economic possibilities than not attending, my course in life is not inherently more dignified than a non-college student's. So, hopefully that's comforting for you.</p>