I have already visited the school, applied to two of their scholarships, and went to the regional information session at my high school. Would it be acceptable/okay to email them saying that WashU is my first choice and that I would love to attend if admitted?
Honestly you’ve done enough. Sending them a love letter is pushing it I think. Think outside the box. My daughter is a painter. She won an award recently and sent a note with a photo of the painting and the award. She wrote something like I know you meet thousands of students, so I wanted to send you something to remember me by. Corny? Maybe. But she’d met the rep at her HS and she wrote back a nice personal note. Will it work? Who knows!
Probably too late to do anything else, except mid-term reports.
You’ve done enough. Relax.
What scholarships did you apply for?
@jihihihi You’re absolutely killing me!
On another thread you said Northwestern is your first choice. You even told them in a letter that NU is your first choice.
You got deferred from NU during the ED round so you wrote the nice letter about them being your first choice if selected in the RD round.
And now this thread…
Obviously, your word is not your bond.
You can always email them, but I’d suggest not emailing them for the purpose of emailing them. If you really want to, you can always just send them an update, and including at the end that you’d be interested in going. Or find an interesting question that isn’t answered online.
I don’t think its unusual for students to tell schools that they are their first choice if admitted. Really short of ED which is binding I don’t think the schools really believe all those students that write their reps saying if admitted they will come. That said i do think dem. interest in a school like wash U. is important but believe me they dont believe all those students saying “your my top choice” in the RD round. So much comes into play making the final decision like FA. My son who got deferred to his first choice did write a letter similar to @jihihihi telling them they remain his top choice but that said he has now moved onto other loves like Wash Univ. I don’t think @jihihihi is an outlier making this thread.
schools are not clueless. so many kids are writing their reps “if admitted they are their top choice and will come”. I don’t fault @jihihihi and believe like many students he might have multiple top choices. Unfort. I have seen similar “call outs” of students on other threads.
I think it’s unethical to tell the school that deferred you in the ED that it remains the top choice and then tell another school you apply to in the RD the same timing.
I get it. While schools may not believe all the “you’re my top choice” courting that goes on many students, it is still unethical. Using the excuse that a school may not believe a student anyway entirely misses the point.
I do know the ethical boundaries are crossed by both sides in the college admissions process. I’m not naive to think otherwise.
However, if my child did what @jihihihi did, then they’d get a stern lecture from me and a forced change in the correspondence to ensure only one of them says the school is the first choice.
I always remind my children when making decisions to figure out whether the action is illegal, unethical, or immoral before acting on it. While @jihihihi 's actions may not be illegal and in fact maybe widely practiced, it is still unethical.
sounds like you are a great mom t. i think we can agree to disagree at this pt. I think that many many kids at this pt don’t truly know what their first choice is. Apart from ED which is binding ,many many kids change their mind daily . Had my son got into his first ED choice he would have been thrilled and while he truly is “still in love with that school” and on most days will say if he gets in he will go, the love begins to fade when you don’t get the “love back” and deferred in the ED round. I think telling a school “you are /remain my top choice” is meaningless unless ED it is not binding and I don’t believe the school holds any wt in those words. IN the RD round there is no “true loyalty” to a school till you sign and make that May 1rst deposit .
If I had a dime for every kid that said “this school is my number one choice” and did not go to that school I would be one rich lady.
I would encourage my kids then not to say things that are meaningless. It teaches them to mean what they say and say what they mean.
If my kid told a school that it’s the top choice, then they better mean it. If not, I’m directing my kid to remove that statement from an essay or email.
If this kid’s parents are complicit in this whole scheme, then that’s on them.
It’s all about being ethical - regardless of how others play the game. I’m also trying to teach my kids to do the right thing - especially when no one is watching.
If schools don’t hold weight to those words, then why do we say it? I’d tell my kids not to waste time then.
The thing with @jihihihi is he didn’t get the love back from NU but he still told them that they remain #1. I should know. I helped him craft the email to the adcom the same day (I realize this now) he came up with his thread. If you read the email to the adcom, it was unequivocal as to his choice of NU.
I also would be rich if i had a dime for every time a school tells a prosp. applicant “you would be a great fit” for our school whether in an interview, in mailings(Rice was a good example of this) or a handwritten note/email(we have plenty of these) and than the student doesn’t get in. ED remains the only binding loyalty to a school.
signing off on this thread. Good luck to all in college decisions and know there are many “right fits” great schools out there you can succeed and be happy at.
Sure thing. We can continue to justify our kids’ unethical behavior because the schools are the same way.
Got it.
BRAVO ChicagoSportsFn for calling out this behavior!!! What a ridiculous college application system that encourages and maybe even rewards this dishonest behavior. The real world certainly won’t.
unethical behavior In college admission process can include many things like putting in multiple deposits May 1rst, applying to more than one ED binding school, not being honest about activities or depth of involvement in activities in the common AP, not being honest in FA forms. Although not unethical, I would also put in this category when students get into their first choice EA ivy/selective schools with an agreeable FA package , and plan on attending and than “let the other RD admissions ride out” just to have bragging rights of other schools they get into but have no intention of going as it takes away spots from other students. As I said in the thread above , students like @jihihihi I don’t believe have unethical behavior when they get deferred from their ED original first choice school and they start realistically trying to find other “loves”. Teens change their mind often (daily)and in the RD nonbinding decisions their is no true loyalty to a school till the May 1rst deposit. Also many factors come into play in the final May 1rst decision like Financial Aid/merit aid. Our GCs have communicated to the students often that while communicating to regional reps/schools you love their school is okay saying “you will go if you get in” is meaningless in the nonbinding RD round and schools know it.
If you tell a school they are your first choice and/or that you will go if they let you in, and in fact that is not true at the time you are making the statement, then yes of course it is unethical - it is a lie. I don’t understand why this is even a debate. To write it off as “common practice” and it being meaningless to the schools and nonbinding makes no difference - I’m surprised people are using the “well everyone else does it” justification. My daughter was deferred from a highly selective school - while she is still very interested, at this point that school is not her first choice, and it is not clear that she would go there if she is admitted - thus she is not writing them a letter saying otherwise. The guidance counselors at my daughter’s high school have also been quite unequivocal on this point: it reflects poorly on both the student and the school when a student makes these types of statements and then reneges.
I completely agree with you. OP got deferred from his ED school and sent a very convincing email to the adcom unequivocally stating the school is STILL the first choice and will attend if accepted. In fact, I reviewed the email because he asked for help.
He then starts this thread about how does he go about telling another school that THEY are the top choice.
I don’t get how that’s not unethical. To justify it by saying everyone does it or the adcom doesn’t believe it anyway when a student says it is really reaching.
My hat is off to you for going about the college app process the ethical way. You’re teaching your D the right way to go about things.