<p>I'm only applying to 3 in-state schools and 5 out of state schools (all private).</p>
<p>The problem is I keep feeling guilty about wanting to go those 5 because of the tuition. I know my parents are paying but it feels weird when they can pay A LOT less if I stay in my home state.</p>
<p>They keep saying money isn't a problem, but I'm not buying it.</p>
<p>Any suggestions? Thank you very much in advance.</p>
<p>PedHope - If you did your job right, those eight schools are the best choices for you. So choose one and get a great education. Your success is your parent's reward for raising you right. (If you need something more, I can share with you that the money for your college education is in an account that will be forfeit if you don't attend a private college. Just kidding there, but when your parents tell you "Money's not a problem" that usually means "Money's not a problem.") Good luck with your choice!</p>
<p>Are the in state schools publics? </p>
<p>You will feel less guilty if you pick the school that you think is the best for you and work hard to get the best bang for your buck (your parent's bucks). If money isn't an issue, they will feel very good about their investment if they see that you appreciate it and are doing well.</p>
<p>hopeful-- we told our kids that money wasn't a problem. That didn't mean that we had endless buckets of it at our disposal (we don't) or that if they chose not to go to college we'd fix up the kitchen and put in a swimming pool ( we wouldn't) or that we wouldn't need to be creative and thoughtful about paying for it. What it did mean is that we had planned for college since they were born, and that we were prepared to assume some risk in making it happen as long as they did their part: Work hard, learn lots, assume the burden of whichever pieces of the financial puzzle were appropriate given their own circumstances, etc. We were not interested in having them go to the cheapest possible school and spend the summer sunbathing in the driveway.... clearly work would be involved on their part, and as long as they were up to it, we'd be partners in paying for it.</p>
<p>I imagine that your parents are giving you that same message unless this conflicts radically with how you were raised, i.e. you're living in a homeless shelter or bill collectors call every night during dinner and mom's been unemployed for a year. If so, you should all be partners in making college work for everyone. I don't think my kids feel/felt quilty-- they saw friends driving new cars but living at home for college; they saw friends taking ski vacations during winter break but going to a second tier state U to save money, etc. Different families, different choices.</p>
<p>If you can get into your private schools, and money is not an issue, you deserve it.</p>
<p>Stop feeling guilty and start writing those scholarship aps! If you feel badly about the money your parents are paying then do what you can to lessen there burden. But really take your parents at their word. They have told you it's OK so enjoy the process and let them enjoy it with you. We raise our kids to be able to take this step and we, most of us anyway, want you to take the biggest step you can. Relax, apply for some money and enjoy whatever school you end up attending.</p>
<p>If you're feeling guilty, make sure that you watch what you spend on things other than tuition, room, board & books. Get a part time job to help defray expenses. Stay grateful for the opportunity; do the very best you can. Thank your parents. And remember to "pay it forward" when you have kids. </p>
<p>Nothing makes me happier than to be able to do this for my child. I'm sure your parents feel the same way.</p>
<p>A friend told me she knows parents who insisted on their kid going to a cheaper in-state school so he could take a year off and be a ski-bum, even though he didn't want to do that, because they had wanted to do that. Ewww. My "Get-a-Life-Meter" lit up on that one.</p>
<p>But, you, OP, believe your parents. We told our son he should choose the school he liked best, because we had the money saved up. We meant it with all our hearts. What would bother me is if he totally threw away his opportunities at his campus and played video games for 4 years. Don't do that!</p>
<p>You can help your parents out by applying for scholarships, working fulltime during the summer, and taking maximum advantage of your education.</p>
<p>blossom, great post; took the words right out of mouth. We have 2 D's in a LAC. They were both given the same message that PediatricHopeful's parent's gave them.</p>
<p>Sit down and go through the actual numbers with your parents. I've seen other kids disappointed when they had to turn down their preferred school because their parent's perception of "money isn't a problem" was different than the student's. The info should be readily available for the schools you're considering. Make sure they and you know what total possible annual amount you're considering and what contribution they may want from you (i.e. summer job money to pay for out of pocket costs etc.). Once you're all in agreement apply away guilt free to schools that fit you and fit within your budget. I'm sure it will be your parent's pleasure and pride to be able to send you to one of your preferred school.</p>
<p>Your parents love you dearly and willing to give you the gift of a best possible education. Just study hard and do your best to be successful in life, making sure that their effort is not wasted and share with them your accomplishment.</p>
<p>I say that if you have looked at quite a number of schools- public and private, and have fairly narrowed it down to those 8, then you have been fair to yourself and to your parents. No need to feel guilty that by amazing chance, only those 8 privates are what you believe are your best avenues for success. Sadly, for example, some students buy into the "ivy covered walls" schools as somehow better for all. I don't believe they are better for all, but only for some. Tough to define better. The real world doesn't rate schools(or their grads) the way USnews does.
How do we define success? The paycheck? the happiness in one's life? Home? family? car? jewelry? belief in a diety? Clean underwear? For most people it is a combination of some of those, so please don't believe there is only 1 college, or even only 1 type of college that can put you on your road to success.</p>
<p>If I could have paid full freight for my D to go to any school she wanted, I gladly would have. If your parents are able to do that, I am sure they are happy to do so. A responsible child would make sure he/she is choosing wisely, with an eye to what is best for him/her (not what costs the most or sound most impressive to everyone else). If the schools you like are all private & pretty expensive --- but if you like them the best & feel you'll be happy --- then apply & enjoy. By the way, the fact that you care enough to ask the question means your parents raised you right!</p>
<p>To add to joinville's comments, since you screen name is PediatricHopeful, it sounds like you want to be a pediatrician so Medical School is in the plans. As part of looking at the cost, you probably ought to look at the cost of undergrad + medical school.</p>
<p>The tradeoff that some people make is to go in-state to save money for graduate/professional school.</p>
<p>My family tends to think of college costs as an intergenerational responsibility -- that is, the older generation takes on the bulk of the costs for the younger generation. I would expect my kids to do the same. </p>
<p>That said, we imposed limits on costs. One school gapped terribly and simply was not affordable. But since the college application list reflected an awareness of financial aid policies, that still left five fine choices, all of which we could afford. DD knew that the school that gapped often does so and she still wanted to apply, with the proviso that if it was too much money, it was not a possibility. Also, she has to contribute to costs from earnings.</p>
<p>Agree with Kelsmom, I would love for my S to be able to attend a private sch. but it's not a financial option for us. So if your parents are giving you every option, you are very lucky. Count your blessings and don't feel guilty.</p>
<p>Discuss your choices with them (if you haven't already) and be sure you're all on the same page so there won't be any surprises when acceptances come in. </p>
<p>You can always apply to one of the public universities in your state in addition to the others on your list if you think it's possible that you may change your mind or your parent's position might change before May. It's good to have options.</p>
<p>Can your parents afford to help with medical school? Do you have younger siblings? These could be factors in leading you to choose one of the less expensive schools. Talk to them about it in detail. If you feel guilty there may be a reason.</p>
<p>H told S he could go to private college with no financial aid. We are happy with his college choice. He loves his college. We CAN pay for it, but it is a strain-- and to be honest, I resent that S turned down full rides at 3 other (2 public, one private) colleges. Do your parents agree on the finances?<br>
I think many parents may say that $ isn't an issue, but trust me, unless you have buckets of it, it is.</p>
<p>I agree atomom, it's one thing to say money's not a problem, it's another thing to write out those checks every year and have to live with that decision. We made that commitment to our 2 D's and we're paying it. It's hard, but we worked the numbers and so we went into this with both eyes wide open.</p>
<p>I know we told our son a dollar figure we could gift to him toward that education. Whether that figure covered 100%, 50%, or 10% was entirely his option. He ended up selecting a school that our gift covered about 80% of his costs. But what we were willing and able to offer to our son is not the point. If the op looked only at private schools then I feel, yes, he was unfair. If he objectively looked at all schools that could provide him with the proper education, and he felt were a good fit, but only came up with those 8 privates- well then he was fair. Only he knows if he objectively evaluated all schools fairly. Did he look at the best school for him, or the best private school for him?</p>