<p>Contribute what you can to your education, but not at the expense of your overall college experience. Years ago, I went to a huge commuter college in California, made zero friends, worked like a slave at a local hardware store, dropped out as a junior, and hated that whole period of my life. I'd do anything for my girls to have a different and better experience. The most important thing is academics--I expect them to study hard and learn well. The little bit they can make with an on-campus job will be strictly spending money for them, as far as I'm concerned. College represents the last four years before the harsh realities of life on your own begin. It should be a joyous experience.</p>
<p>I was not really expecting to get much in the way of financial aid (and lo and behold-- not a dime!), so financial security definitely played into my reasons for applying ED.</p>
<p>I feel guilty about it, I must say. Morally, the fact that I was given a boost because I didn't need to worry about bankrupting my family doesn't sit well with me. But my college agrees to pay 100% of demonstrated need and one of my friends who applied last year RD did indeed get a generous offer that was adequate for his needs. And my lack of aid means that more money is in someone else's pot-- someone who really needs it to afford a good education.</p>
<p>Besides, my parents expect me to shoulder some $20,000 in loans over 4 years and look for scholarships.</p>
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Your parents undoubtedly consider you very much worth the investment.
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<p>Hindoo, I hope you aren't implying that parents who are unable or unwilling to risk their financial futures somehow consider their children unworthy. I think that's a pretty rotten message to give these kids on here.</p>
<p>Weenie--I was implying no such thing. My point was that if her parents said they were ready, willing, and able to pay for her college education, that she should believe them and let go of the guilt. As you say, not all parents are able (or willing) to do this for their children. Being unable to finance college is an unfortunate situation; being able but unwilling is unforgivable. I know people who fall into the latter category, and believe me, Weenie--it's not the kids who are unworthy. It's the parents.</p>
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being able but unwilling is unforgivable. I know people who fall into the latter category, and believe me, Weenie--it's not the kids who are unworthy. It's the parents.
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<p>Unforgivable? That is pretty harsh! My parents are able but mostly unwilling because they wanted me to work hard for merit aid. So I have to find a good fit among the lower ranked schools. I can go along with their judgement that the education in a very selective college is not worth 180 K more than similar education at another good Univ with honors program.<br>
Demanding that parents continue to prove their 'worth' even after the kid reaches the threshold of adulthood is not right. Speaking for myself, I have been looked after with great care ever since I was an infant, so let me think of how I can someday repay the two people I owe the most, before I look for what more they should do for me.
In short, if parents don't want to shell out exorbitant sums for the kid's college experience, that should be acceptable.</p>
<p>My parents aren't rich, but I'm celebrateing because I'm in NYU ED and I have to go no matter what so why not.</p>
<p>And I ADORE NYU. I like worship NYU lol</p>
<p>CollegeBound--I wasn't trying to be harsh and I'm sorry if it came across that way. I don't actually believe that parents are "unworthy" unless they are willing to shell out "exorbitant sums for a kid's college experience." But what I do feel is that if parents are financially able to participate in this "experience," they should try to do so.
I agree with you that parents should expect their sons and daughters to be involved in the process, including working hard for merit aid. Our oldest daughter wanted to go to a small liberal arts college, a far more expensive option than a state university. For 17 years we had put every penny we could aside for college, ruthlessly cut financial corners, buying older model used cars, taking road-trip vacations, etc., etc., (you know the routine), but the rising costs of these lac's far outpaced our ability to save. Our daughter understood that if she wanted to go to a smaller private college rather than a large state school, she had to help us out. She did, by working very hard and eventually qualifying for some decent merit money--at a lower-ranked lac, but a good one. (Our other daughter, a high school senior, is also looking at good, less selective lacs that give merit aid, plus she holds down two part-time jobs.)
The college bill remains sizable, and we're working hard to manage it. In team-like fashion, our girls are doing their parts and we're doing ours. At this point, I'm just not willing to cut them off financially when I'm still able to help them. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned in considering a college education to be one of the last great gifts a parent can give a child as he/she heads into adulthood. Especially an education that results in as little debt as possible as they move on to whatever lies ahead in the post-college years.
CollegeBound--You have a very mature, loving, and selfless attitude toward your parents, and your gratitude is rare and wonderful, indeed. Your parents are as lucky to have you as you are to have them.</p>
<p>I'm not loaded but my parents have commited to pay for Duke ED. So, yes I am celebrating. I know the money will be there since I didn't apply for aid.</p>
<p>Hindoo, thanks for the kind words.</p>