How did your child come to know what they wanted to be?

<p>Most of the parents on this board have children that are about to enter college. Therefore, I assume they have figured out what they want to "be" when they join the workforce as they have chosen their majors.</p>

<p>How did your son or daughter come to know what they wanted to be? I have a child that is still a sophomore in HS yet, and is talented in science and math but is struggling with what she wants to actually do with her life. She knows it's math & science, but cannot pinpoint anything to concentrate on.</p>

<p>I know, she's still very young yet with two and a half more years to go in HS. But you know that it will be gone in a flash. What can she do to involve herself with things, programs, etc. that will help her make her choice?</p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

<p>First of all, it is not absolutely necessary that you daughter knows what she wants to "be" in high school or even in her undergrad years in college. In most fields of math and science, the undergrad degree is just the start and she will not need to specialize until grad school. She has the luxury of trying out a lot of different things over the next several years, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.</p>

<p>My daughter suspected that she wanted to be a bass player by her sophomore year in college and she was quite sure after attending the Tanglewood program between junior and senior year. It is a little different with musicians, because they need to get started with their instrument at an early age and many do not even bother with grad school if they are talented and lucky enough to land a job before that.</p>

<p>I would encourage your daughter to participate in whatever math and science related EC's are available in her high school. That may help her narrow the field down a bit if, for example, she finds she likes chemistry better than biology or physics better than earth sciences. If your finances permit and she is interested in an academic summer program, there are entire threads that have been devoted to that topic.</p>

<p>Salem:</p>

<p>I agree with Bassdad. The best thing for your D to do now is to get involved in math/science extra-curriculars such as math competitions (AMC/AIME/USAMO) and Science team events (there are several at the local/regional/national levels) and, if she is interested in science internships and science projects. My S participated in his school's Science Team and had lots of fun. Read up on RSI, a free summer program offered at MIT and Caltech, about the Intel and Siemens-Westinghouse competitions, to get a sense of the kind of math and science projects high school juniors and seniors can do with some mentoring.</p>

<p>There are many more careers that involve math/science than used to exist a couple of decades ago. Your D will be in a position to learn more about them once she gets to college.</p>

<p>My daughter didn't "find herself" until her best friend since fifth grade left to be a german exchange student last year. It was a terrible Fall for my dughter. These girls had been almost like sisters for so many years and they eachprovided social support to the other. The downside was that most of their plans involved each other. They were going to go to the same college, live in the same city, their husbands would be friends, their children would be playmates, they would work together....you get the picture. When her friend left she was forced to redefine herself as a solo act. By Christmas she had matured so much, had developed many new interests, made new friends and seemed no longer afrain to express her opinions about things. I think she was the less dominate of the two. When her friend came back it took a few months and a college tour with her to realize that the bond was forever changed. The friend cared for my daughter but did not care for her more independent persona. In a few months there was a new friend who filled that roll and my daughter was moved out to the edge of the relationship. At first it was hard but she has a really good understanding of it and of the need for it to happen. She said that while she was alone she learned who she was and that she grew up. She decided on what really interested her, decided what she wanted to study and what kind of work she wanted to do. She can easily accept that she is now further down that path than her friend even though it makes her sad. Now she is waiting for her friend to catch up so that they can be close again. She wants to study economics, government and law, preferably in an international arena. She is really interested in foreign affairs, especially anything to do with problems in US-African relations.</p>

<p>My son was also really undefined until his senior year. We had insisted that all doors be left open until college. We didn't want him to narrow down before he got to college. As it happens he was divided between going into hospitality and the COast Guard. He applied to two programs; one a hospitality program and the Coast Guard Academy. He got into both but ultimately chose the CGA and he is now an officer. But he says that when he retires he is going to open a small hotel with a restaurant and so I guess he will get to do both in his career.</p>

<p>My older son, from the time he was little, thought he wanted to be an aerospace engineer. While in high school, he discovered Japanese and became very interested in the language and culture. He majored in it in college, but took many engineering courses, with the idea of doing a fifth year program in engineering. He was starting to have some doubts by then, as he regularly got A's in Japanese and humanities, but B's and C's in math and engineering classes. His senior year he applied for the fifth year program and was rejected. Only then did he finally decide that Japanese was what he really loved and would be his future.</p>

<p>My younger son, while enjoying music, thought he wanted a job that was more reliable and lucrative, so he told people he would be a doctor. However, as he approached his senior year in high school, he was beginning to realize that he totally loved music, and that money really was not important to him. (We gave him a chance to take a short summer class on medicine, too, to see if that clicked with him.) Through trying out different musical experiences and through a lot of prayer, he decided that his career would be in music. As a freshman in college now, he is still working on deciding whether to be a straight performance major, or add in another aspect of music in case he can't make it as a performer.</p>

<p>So, basically, a lot of this is a gradual process, aided by the opportunity to try out lots of different things, thus finding what one loves and what one may do well in, but not really love or want to do as a career.</p>

<p>I think that my own kids paths follow many of those above. When my oldest was younger I would have told you he was for sure going to end up in engineering. However, at age 10 he started to play cello and by high school knew he wanted to be a professional cellist. He will graduate from music conservatory this spring. </p>

<p>Son #2 was frustrated because he felt that he should know exactly what he wanted to do just as his older brother did but he was never that passionate about anything. He started college as a biology major and is now a sophomore still pursuing that. He hasn't found anything else he enjoys as much. He will likely go to grad school in that field.</p>

<p>Son #3 is currently a high school senior. He states he wants to be a high school biology teacher. He also loves music, drama and french. It would not surprise me at all if he changes to one of these areas at some point, or if he stays on with his goals. In any case, he will explore and find an area that he likes and where he will be successful. </p>

<p>Heck, my husband was sure of what he wanted to do until he was half way through with his Ph.D. At that point he discovered that long term research did not particularly appeal to him. He is using his knowledge and abilities to administer a research program at a large university. </p>

<p>So your daughter will find her way. Don't worry about it overly much.</p>

<p>I think many people don't figure it out until they get the first real job. Then you learn quickly what you do or don't like and adjust. I went from city planning to real estate finance and investing. Related areas but different ends of the equation. Required a trip back to grad school.</p>

<p>So, I'm 55, and still trying to figure that out for myself. (I think I want to be a pixie.) Actually, I just wrote a magazine article (one of my columns) on how it happened for me, so if you'll indulge me:</p>

<p>Secret Spaces, Hidden Places</p>

<p>So we’ve titled our column “What Really Matters”, a place to sort through our experience, both in the education of our homeschooled children, in the culture at large, and in our own journeys. We are seeking to hold up to the light what did indeed make a difference in our lives, what was a waste of time and energy, what held us back and what moved us forward in that spiral dance we call living. In case, I haven’t done so yet, I want to thank Mary and Michael Leppert, the publishers of The Link, for this opportunity.</p>

<p>Try as I may, I find it difficult to reconstruct the emotional tenor of my teen years. The little of what I can conjure up is that of a confused adolescent, without strong emotional attachments, and rather flat affect. I grew up in a working class town inside the New York City limits. Today, Bellerose has some quarter of a million residents (making it what would be by far the second largest city in Washington State, where I now reside, but to this day you won’t find it on any maps.) There were lots of Irish Catholic firemen and policeman, folks who worked at the nearby Sperry Gyroscope Plant, and upwardly mobile but relative poor Jewish folks who managed to buy houses in the early 1950s with subsidized GI loans. </p>

<p>What is interesting to know about my town is that it had no bookstore, no record store, no community orchestra, no playhouse (one movie theater), no town band. There were no lectures outside of those held at churches or synagogues, not even in the very small town library, Concerts in the park would be long in the future. There were no dance studios or art classes or nature clubs as far as I am aware, and a very small Little League (most folks couldn’t afford it, and thought it was rather strange anyway, since one could play stickball for free). No Elks or Rotaries from what I can recall, though there were all kinds of Masons – the traditional variety for Protestants, Knights of Pythias for Jewish folks, Knights of Columbus for Catholics. These religious and, to some degree, ethnic lines were never crossed. (Our Cub and Boy Scout troops were equally segregated; as, for the most part, were our public school classes, but that’s the stuff of another essay.) Folks commuted to work, and came home, though it was in an age where “homemaker” was still considered a “respectable” occupation. My mother read, mostly novels I think – she became a schoolteacher while I was young; I don’t believe my father ever read a book in his life, though he had a subscription to National Geographic, where I think he satisfied his thirst for barebreasted women.</p>

<p>Anyhow, I was a smart kid, or so it was thought, and was accepted into a science magnet public high school in Manhattan, which meant an hour and a half trip each way to and from (one bus, and a minimum of two subway trains, though sometimes I used to vary it, and could make it in the same time by taking four.) School was a dreary shower about which I can tell more than my share of tragicomic stories (and often do), though almost none of them about anything I learned (about which I remember virtually nothing.) But I was good at it, and well-rewarded for my efforts and hence thought I liked it, then, and for the next decade. I had no mentors. I knew no scientists, mathematicians, poets, doctors, lawyers, journalists, engineers, automechanics, woodworkers; in fact, to the best of my memory, my life was bereft of significant adults, an emptiness that I still grieve to this day.</p>

<p>I don’t know exactly how this happened, but one of my fellow students (likely from the school debating team) must have told me about the Brentano’s bookstore up on 47th Street. From what I can recall, I had never been in a bookstore before (though my father used to buy me Golden Nature Guides in a local malt shop. Looking back at it, this seems even more remarkable to me, as growing up, I don’t remember knowing anyone who visited a bookstore, and never any members of my immediate or extended family.) I can see myself walking down the open spiral staircase with marble stairs to the “academic books” department, and standing before a set of pinewood shelves virtually under them, labeled “Sociology”. I don’t remember knowing what “Sociology” was. But, over a period of months, I purchased several books, some of which I own to this day. They clearly date me. There was Edgar Friedenburg’s Coming of Age in America, Paul Goodman’s Growing Up Absurd (which strongly influenced John Holt), Camus’ The Rebel, David Riesman’s The Lonely Crowd, and works by the psychologist Kenneth Keniston, The Uncommitted and Young Radicals. I have no clue as where I could have heard of such books, but now that I look back at them, the very titles suggest the various compartments of my adolescent mind. I hardly recollect what was in any of them (though I have long since reread the first three), I never discussed them with anyone (and certainly not my family), but I can strongly summon up the memory of standing silently before the sociology shelf in the store, and somehow feeling very…adult. I would return. </p>

<p>I was soon to make an even greater discovery. One day on one of my rare visits to Brentano’s, I left the store through the 47th Street exit, and walked down the street. 47th, between 5th and 6th Avenues, is still the center of the New York diamond district, and the street was full of bearded and forelocked Hasidic men, in black gabardine coats, white shirts, and hats, noisily proceeding from store to store where, through the windows, one could see the diamond cutters in skullcaps at their machines. But in the middle of the block on the north side was a little store that proclaimed “Gotham Book Mart” on the window, with slightly peeling letters reading “Wise Men Fish Here”. You had to take two steps down to get in. Inside, along the walls of what seemed almost like a long, poorly-lit corridor, and on shelves protruding from the walls, and on tables arrayed in a straight line the full distance of the store, were books, often piled high, and not even too neatly, as well as several desks. It didn’t feel at all like Brentanos, no, it was more like a shrine. An elderly grayhaired woman sat by the window, taking in what was left of the late afternoon light. (I was much later to learn that this woman was Francis Steloff, the proprietor of Gotham, the New York equivalent of Paris’ Shakespeare & Co. -- the most important literary bookstore in the United States – and who championed the work of Henry Miller, D. H. Lawrence, e.e. cummings, and Gertrude Stein, and whose other customers read like a “who’s who” of the Twentieth Century literary world.) She smiled at me when I walked in, but didn’t say anything, and that was welcome enough.</p>

<p>My first emotion was one of fear. The books on the wall facing the entrance way were all expensive-looking, leather-bound editions, often tooled with goldleaf and I frankly would have been afraid to touch them. It was both Ms. Steloff’s smile and nod, and my fear of the volumes out front that propelled me further into the store. For whatever reason, I picked up books of poetry, I who had never heard of Keats or Shelley, Blake or Byron, and who had been tortured with Shakespeare in junior high school along with the rest of my classmates, and forced to learn all ten “uplifting” stanzas of Felicia Hemans’ “Casabianca” (“The boy stood on the burning deck…), with which I can torture others to this day. (I warn you not to ask unless you are prepared for the consequences.) But, no, these were first editions from little presses from around the world, and I discovered Diane Wakoski and Diane di Prima (two of the three huntresses of my life, the other being the singer Laura Nyro), and Kenneth Patchen and I became friends. This wasn’t anything like what they taught in English class! This was secret knowledge, obtained during stolen moments after school, in a place that no one else in my world would even be able to find unless they knew what they were looking for, and they wouldn’t.</p>

<p>But wait, there was more. I discovered that the second floor of the Gotham Book Mart was inhabited by the James Joyce Society. I never got to go in – apparently, all the meetings were held in the evening (when I was home in Bellerose with my four hours of homework), and I wouldn’t have known what they did at the James Joyce Society in any case. I barely knew who he was (I didn’t read Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man or Ulysses until I was in college, and, actually – and I say this with a little bit of shame -- never liked them particularly.) But someone told me that one of the activities of the James Joyce Society was to, once a year, do an all day/all-night reading of Finnegan’s Wake. (Note: Gotham sold its old location, but has since reopened two blocks away at 16 East 46th Street, between Madison and 5th Avenue. The Joyce Society, Finnegan’s Wake Society, and the “Wake Watchers Reading Group” have all relocated there as well. <a href="http://www.finneganswake.org/GothamBookMart.htm%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.finneganswake.org/GothamBookMart.htm&lt;/a> .If you are ever in New York….)</p>

<p>(end of Part 1)</p>

<p>Part 2</p>

<p>For some reason, their obsession became an obsession of my own. Ah, the workings of the teenage brain! I bought a copy of Finnegan’s Wake, one of the most impenetrable works in the English language – if it could be said to be in English at all!), and decided, for reasons of which I have no memory, to make my own annotated edition. In hindsight, this was an odd choice, as I knew absolutely nothing about James Joyce, Ireland or Irish history, Dublin, Gaelic mythology, Freudian or Jungian psychology, or philology, all of which being absolutely critical to understanding the book. And these were the days before computers, no less the Internet. Virtually every line required a trip to the Atlas, a dictionary of mythology, a biographical lexicon, a map of Dublin, etc. It took me around 14 months to go through 80 pages, and filled three entire notebooks – what I would give to have those notebooks today! My parents really had no clue as to what I was doing, and I don’t recall them asking for an explanation. (Five years later, an annotated edition – not mine – LOL! – was actually published, which made me pretty excited, and slightly miffed at the same time.)</p>

<p>At the end of the process of exploring these secret spaces…I had nothing to show for it. A college admissions officer would never find anything on my list of “extracurricular activities”. I hadn’t won any contests, published a novel or even a short story or a poem, been a member of a ‘knowledge bowl’ team, traipsed around Ireland (still haven’t), formed a high school literary society. I am still searching for a fifth person who might appreciate my recitation of a 283-word sentence from Finnegan’s Wake, though I think that search has now become rather pointless (as if it were ever anything but) as the sentence is fast fading from my memory. “Use it or lose it,” as they say. But these secret spaces in the world became hidden places inside me. I knew then, even if I couldn’t put words to it, that I would become a writer, and a publisher, or simply a lover of words as they play across the heart.</p>

<p>When I look back upon the experience and try to make sense of how it has applied to our family’s homeschooling journey, and might apply to yours, it would be too simple to suggest that my parents’ benign (and loving) neglect was amply rewarded. Had I not had my daily subway adventure beginning at age 14, and the opportunity to escape the provincialism of my big small town, it is hard to know if any of this might have occurred. Assuredly there was nothing in my previous experience, and certainly nothing that happened in school itself, that would have led me toward it. I was gifted with the luxury of finding my own secret spaces for myself, in the interstices of what was essentially a 15-hour school day. The process could likely have been easier (and likely more fruitful) had I been provided with (or at least knew how to locate) mentors outside of my family, preferably a range of them from which to choose, who could have helped guide me in my quest.</p>

<p>But once I have helped my children locate and develop a range of interests, and assisted them in finding mentors and guides or simply the spaces where they can take root, I have learned to take special care to butt out. With my older daughter Aliyah, once we found the matched music composition teacher, I didn’t need to know what it was she was learning (which I wouldn’t have fully understood in any case), or hear “works in progress”, or even talk with the teacher about what they were working on toegether. I hoped they would share, of course, and was gratified when they so chose, but this was her world, not mine. And when I’d want to join Aliyah for a walk in the woods, I would be careful not to ask to be taken to those special places that Aliyah had chosen for herself. (In fact, to this day, I don’t know exactly where they are.) The naturalist skills she has acquired over the years from teachers and mentors are conveyed to me, when she chooses to do so, as if she is talking to a friend.</p>

<p>With my younger daughter Meera, the case has been essentially the same, made easier by the fact that, making use of her gifted social skills, she most usually finds mentors and guides among adults by herself. Most recently, having decided to take a break from her classical piano studies to take up jazz (with our ecstatic approval), she found and contracted with her own teacher. I have spoken with the teacher, a local working musician, giving him the rundown of what I know about Meera’s particular knowledge, talents, and deficits (most of which he already knew anyway, having apparently been hearing about Meera for months from the leader of his group, the saxophonist Bert Wilson.) What surprised him, however, was that I did not want to sit down with the two of them to help them plot out a course of exploration. I explained that, as far as that goes, I was actually superfluous to the process. I would purchase the necessary books and CDs, get Meera physically where she needed to be, and write the necessary checks, but that my trusting her to make good decisions about what she needed to learn was part of what she required to grow. In turn, he promised to introduce her to other teachers and mentors along the path of her becoming the musician, and person, she was meant to be.</p>

<p>This has required some discipline on my part, a “hands-on” parent. I have had to learn to let go. I have had to accept that my children may occasionally make learning choices that would be different from my own, and that, perhaps, even they, in the long run, may consider “mistakes”, and that mistakes are often the source of our most important, and most long-lasting learning. </p>

<p>Above all, over time and through knowing them well, I have learned to trust them. John Holt once said that all of his work could be boiled down to just two words: “Trust children.” Having spoken with thousands of homeschooling families over much of the past decade, I have come to the conclusion that Holt’s formulation, for most parents, is just too difficult. So I’ve added a word, and turned the dictate into a process: “Trust children more.”</p>

<p>The secret spaces are not secret if we demand to know all there is to know about them; the hidden places in the heart are not hidden if we demand they always be on display. The fledgling butterflies of adolescence do not reveal the miracle of their being through dissection, or by being kept in the cocoon, but by being allowed to stretch their wings, and sprinkle our heads with their fairy dust, the radical electricity of youth. And if the dust is robust enough, and we don’t rub it off, we might just find ourselves able to fly again as well.</p>

<p>DD has run the gamut of things she "wants to be". When she was very young, she wanted to be a clown. Shortly thereafter, she decided she wanted to be the "money taker" at McDonald's. That dream was quickly dashed when she realized she would not get to keep all of that money, but would only be paid a small hourly wage. She then decided she should "run and jump" in the Olympics. If y'all knew my daughter, whose only true athletic skill is swimming, y'all would be in stitches right now. During her 7th grade year, when her school's cross country team was short one girl, the coach begged her to join. Let's just say that any future Olympians need not fear opposition from my DD. She then thought she wanted to take after dear old mom and become a nurse. Considering one has to be able to handle the sight of blood without slumping to the floor and feeling nauseated, this was a field she soon realized was not for her. For some reason, she thought being a veterinarian would be a good idea. I reminded her that her reasons for not considering the nursing field would probably apply to veterinary science, too. In ninth grade, she thought doing something in the CSI field would be very interesting. I agree, but again ... the blood thing got in her way. She said she really liked the thought of "solving mysteries", but didn't want to have to deal with the blood and gore. She started talking about law and when our county developed a teen court system during her sophomore year, she became heavily involved in that. She also joined the mock trial team and the Model UN team. She finally found her niche. Her plan, one with which she has stuck for quite a while, is to major in International Studies and Political Science and go on to law school. She wants to study constitutional law. DH and I have told her numerous times that she should not feel pressured to make a decision at this age as to what she wants to do in life. Although we are very happy in the plans that she has, we don't want her to think that it has to be decided at the tender age of seventeen.</p>

<p>The answer is simple...via Sesame Street videos at age 18 months. Our son has always wanted to enter a public service profession (such as criminal justice), even if it didn't pay a lick. He has always wanted to help other people. He likes the connection with the people he helps. He likes the pay it forward. He likes the moral calibre of the people who perform that type of work. He likes the way it transforms society in a very hands-on, personal way.</p>

<p>I don't think there's any formula or fixed timetable for discovering what one wants to be. This almost always involves some trial and error, experiments, and learning from experience. What I told my kids is that my own experience was limited and while I could tell them a lot about my own experience and understanding, and I could help to provide them with an outstanding education, they themselves were going to have to discover their interests and careers.</p>

<p>While they each manifested certain talents at a young age (son: math; daughter: art) and this set the stage for later, by no means did such general talents put them on a particular course. So much depends in their own aspirations, personalities, health, and physical abilities. So much depends on chance opportunities or constraints. Even hobbies as a kid may come into play later.</p>

<p>Looking backwards, however, it's easy to see that their early careers -- now that they're beyond college and in their mid-20's -- are rooted in the base talents I identified above. But the specific careers they are pursuing are a product of many things. </p>

<p>My son is certainly drawing on his strong aptitude and training in math and statistics (and a BA in economics). He said that pursuing an academic career would be an "easy choice." But instead he's developing his career doing sports statistics and writing, and being quite successful at it if one can judge by visibility of his work, reputation, and income (including developing prospects). Would anyone have "predicted" this outcome 10 years ago? No way. Will he still be doing this in 10 years? Can't say, but it's hard to imagine he won't be a writer.</p>

<p>My daughter determined by herself in her sophomore year of h.s. that she wanted to attend art school and make her career as an artist. And so -- now two years out of college -- she has done, now working in industrial design/product design and graphic design. But what course will this take in 10 years? It's hard to visualize her not being into design in some ways but she could easily migrate into broader fields such as environmental studies (with more training perhaps).</p>

<p>As time has gone on, we've become less concerned about the outcomes as their careers develop their own momentum. But of course we still watch things, mainly from afar and follow their "life developments."</p>

<p>Always an interesting onversation.. The initial assumption is probably wrong in that kids 'know' what they want to do. I believe much of the "I want to be...." and " I am going to go to ___ and major (or double major in ____ ) are ways of trying to describe to peers and adults WHO they are in simple ways.... </p>

<p>I think HS and certainly Undergrad College shoudl be times of defining who you (self-esteem) are so you can put together who you are with a way of making a living on your own (independence). I am in favor of keeping as many options open as long as possible. I also assume for bright kids that Grad school/professioanl schools are very likely.... </p>

<p>How ... echoing some other comments, let your child explore options as much as possible --espcially in HS-- not much help but some musings</p>

<p>I really don't think there's any rush to decide at this point. Let her keep her options open. My daughter was just accepted ED to an Ivy and has no clue as to what she wants to major in, let alone a future occupation. I imagine she'll take some courses to meet general requirements, a few electives which interest her, and hopefully decide by the end of her freshman year what her intended major will be. A good college advising system is designed to help students make that decision. As they say, the most popular major freshman year is "undeclared".</p>

<p>DS has always been interested in music...began singing in an auditioned children's choir at age nine, studied two instruments...did music music music. It came as no surprise that he applied to schools with the intent in majoring in music performance. He is a junior and is still as happy with that decision as he was the day he got accepted into that choir at the age of nine. It's his passion.</p>

<p>DD, on the other hand, is a hs senior who is putting "undeclared" as her intended major. The reality is that SHE is the norm and her brother is the exception. She actually likes many things, and does well at many things. While she is leaning towards the sciences, she is not ready to make a commitment to a particular major yet. She'll figure it out sometime...and that will be when it happens!!</p>

<p>My daughter started high school thinking she would go into music, probably instrumental education and/or performance (French horn). As freshman year progressed, she realized she enjoyed vocal performance even more, so by sophomore year, the search for conservatories commenced. </p>

<p>By the end of her sophomore year and into her junior year, her social conscience was growing, and while she still wanted to sing, being a Singer no longer seemed enough. Out went the conservatories, and then began the search for schools that would allow a double degree. By the middle of her junior year, a double degree was no longer the focus; schools with a strong BA in music, but where she could double major were the schools of choice. </p>

<p>This past summer (between junior and senior year) she worked on a student film made in collaboration with Hollywood professionals (cinemetographer, producer, actor, film editor, sound technician) as the first assistant director. She didn't know what she was doing had a "title" until the Hollywood folks clued her in; all she knew was she was having the time of her life, fulfilling an artistic need as well as her pragmatic, practical side. At the wrap party, she announced to the world that her new career goal was to someday become a first AD. I was left holding a list of colleges that suddenly had to be reviewed in light of this new goal! Fortunately, ADs are not necessarily film school graduates, so we were able to preserve most of her college list, but her preferences did re-shuffle a bit.</p>

<p>She still wants to sing at college and is auditioning at a few schools, as well as applying for music scholarships. But most of the colleges she is applying to do not require a music major to qualify for a music scholarship, so I won't be the least bit surprised if she never declares a music major. I think this progression of interests is to be expected (and I'm certain we'll see more of it in college), but key for my daughter were the opportunities to explore her interests without feeling constrained by a pre-set definition of "being" something.</p>

<p>My DD#2 is currently a sophomore in HS and knows that she wants to be a nutrition/registered dietician. She wants to work in private practice with children. She has alway had a gift for relating to children and has babysat neighborhood kids for many years.</p>

<p>This is the perfect profession for a girl who grew up with fatal food allergies to milk, eggs, nuts and berries/cherries. She had to bring her own cupcake to birthday parties, never eat food at school functions unless she could read the ingredient label first, and sit on a special towel in the school cafeteria while she ate her boxed lunch on a disposable placemat that she brought daily from home. She is still one of those "peanut allergic" individuals who must carry epinephrine injection and benadryl everywhere she goes.
Her growth was stunted by her allergies and we spent many visits in the offices of nutritionists. </p>

<p>To add insult to injury...when she was 12 she was diagnosed with acute ulcerative colitis, a chronic and sometimes debilatating inflammatory bowel disease. </p>

<p>Yes, she wants to someday provide nutritional counsel children, and who better than someone who has lived through so much?</p>

<p>DD majored in German and music in college, and actually applied to grad school in both areas. The school where she presently studies actually was seriously considering her in music when they found out she had been accepted into a German PhD. program; they made her withdraw from one and she chose German. (Mercifully, she is still able to involve herself daily in music, in choirs, other singing groups, concerts . . .I had feared she would leave it all behind. )</p>

<p>I have asked myself why she chose German, and realized one day that it must have felt natural to her. She took five years of French in high school (they didn't offer German) but started out in Intensive German her freshman year in college. It was "natural" because we had lived one year in Germany when she was ages 1 to 2, the year she began to talk. I didn't know any more German than I needed to survive that year, and survival blessedly meant reading her little German children's books; they must have taken root in a very deep place in her imagination, as German became a passion almost immediately. I know she will teach after she gets her degree, and I hope she will read little German children's books someday to my grandchildren to come.</p>

<p>seiclan,</p>

<p>I am sending you a PM. Blessings.</p>

<p>Are you going to collect your CC essays and put them together as a book?</p>