<p>When S1 was 7 we were walking around the UVA Rotunda while visiting Charlottesville. Out of the blue he said he would like to go to school there. My wife explained to him that he would be living by himself w/o mommy and daddy and that he would be very far away from home. He said he knew that. When asked if he didn’t mind he said “Nope.” We were convinced then. (he didn’t attend UVA but he ended up going even further away).</p>
<p>True @kathiep</p>
<p>I’d like to spread my wings a little at a time though 
At first I wanted to go far, but parents always know best (well 99.99% of the time ;)) and I understood why my mom doesn’t want me far. Plus, I’m the oldest child, so I understand what she’s going through with me beginning such a huge chapter in my life.</p>
<p>J’adoube- lol I like how you said he wouldn’t be living with mommy and daddy anymore, that’s the real shocker-having to do EVERYTHING on your own. I’m pretty independent now, but not 100% like I will have to be in college.</p>
<p>I would not like to feel as if I was limiting my child by prescribing a certain distance for them to be allowed to travel for college. If there were extenuating circumstances (financial, emotional, etc.), I could see it, but if it’s just for me and to suit my needs, I couldn’t do that to my kid.</p>
<p>I know other people feel differently.</p>
<p>When our kids were looking at schools, we tried to pass campuses on our vacations so they could get SOME ideas about what some of them looked like. It really struck S when he saw the snow fences & poles in Rochester and how isolated some of the schools were from shopping & other urban attractions. It was then that S decided he’s really more of an urban, warm weather kind of guy. He and D each chose where they wanted to apply. We did tell them that we would have a tough time paying 100% for each of them for 4 years, so S got some generous merit awards to help reduce the cost of tuition, which helped a lot (and narrowed the field of schools he considered). D took 3 semesters at CC & then transferred, which was a big savings for us as well.</p>
<p>I agree with the others, if your campus is near a major airport, distance from home is not as huge a factor, especially if there are several carriers flying between the home city & your campus.</p>
<p>When it came to internships and jobs, we encouraged S to spread his wings and take the positions that were most interesting and not be concerned about their physical location. This made sense to us and him and he has accepted a job that is >5000 miles from our home with our blessing and encouragement. We feel this is important for him, to go with the job that is the most exciting and stimulating. We feel he can always look for a job closer to us if and when he decides he wants to “settle down” closer to us.</p>
<p>It really didn’t take much convincing by us or by him–it was a mutual understanding that we grow by living in different places and new parts of the country. We’re very pleased and excited for him!</p>
<p>The promise of a National Merit scholarship to several schools and the opportunities that it carries convinced us to let our son look all over. He loves the school he selected and will graduate debt-free.</p>
<p>CPUscientist, I have to tell you that when my daughter (my oldest) opened the envelope with the financial aid offer of a college 17 hours away I cried. I cried because it was so far away AND because I was happy for her to be able afford a college she loved. Life is not black and white. I had a really rough time when my daughter left, but I knew it would be better for her. It was too. Sometimes life is not easy but if you don’t have some challenges and bumps, how does one grow and learn how to have faith in oneself? I learned that she and I could still be close without her being physically close to me and she learned to rely on herself. That was good and healthy for both of us.</p>
<p>I love all of your anecdotes!</p>
<p>I think it’s best for me to remain semi close to home for college, then branch out for a job when I graduate.</p>
<p>There was never any doubt that he could go far away from home once he got into USC film school. That’s what he wanted to do. He worked towards that end and we, or at least me, can’t speak for the wife, had no problems with him going that far away. We lived in Virginia at the time. I felt this way knowing that he would not come back east, which turned out ok because we wound up moving to Wisconsin. </p>
<p>What with the internet and cell phones we were in as much contact with him as we needed to be. Even with the telecommunications contacts he still had to solve a lot of problems by himself, and as an only child it was good for him to start doing things on his own. It was good for us too although some of his decisions weren’t exactly well thought out, but that’s part of growing up.</p>
<p>You raise them and then you let them go.</p>
<p>The far-away school is the right one for him. Sure I’ll miss him, but I think he’ll be better off for the next four years and for the next four decades going away.</p>
<p>We have moved all around the world in the past 20 years. S1 was born in Austin TX, lived in Austin, Korea, China, CA, WI, traveled extensively within the US. I guess it all depends on your perspective. For him, a school within few hundred miles from home is considered in our backyard!</p>