<p>I have one D who played D1 sports for 4 years. Loved her school, but by the end of her senior season, hated the coach and asst coach. Why? Because they lied to her and turned on all 6 seniors (most were not his recruits). Coach lied about leaving his previous school when asked point blank whether he was leaving the program before my D signed NLI (which my D was to attend - only cost books). She was unsure of the incoming coach and decided to follow him (against our wishes and with much difficulties breaking NLI). Turned out both coaches for both schools were disasters. D couldn’t quit to become a regular student because of money so she was stuck. Kicker is, school she left had the undergrad program she is now pursuing, graduated school didn’t and is now backtracking taking prereqs to get into grad school. Should we have demanded she stay? Wasn’t our decision, we weren’t attending (finances worked out, she is now paying for prereqs herself).
Second D was a DIII athlete, wanted to play volleyball but knew she wasn’t DI player. She wanted a big school environment but decided to go to a smaller DIII school so she could play. She played freshman year, anticipating a great sophomore year. Her dilemma? Coach cut 3 sophomores in order to take on 7 freshmen. No rhyme or reason other than to take his 7 freshman, who were no better than the ones cut (and never gave any real clear cut reason for them being cut, plus my D was told she in the spring season she was a starter for the fall). So now my D hates where she is because she is constantly reminded that she is not playing. I like the school and the academic reputation is great, but D is not happy. Bottom line is she may have to stay because schools rarely give academic money to transfers, therefore her choices are limited.
Bottom line? Make sure your child knows that coaches WILL LIE, that they have to be able to live with staying at a school without the sport, and be more assertive in your child’s decision. We like the current school even without volleyball, but we should have been more pressing with first D to stay at her first choice. We wanted our D’s choices to be their choices, but what do they say about hindsight?</p>
<p>Our son has been lucky, but yes, coaches will say whatever they feel they need to say to get what they want. We know our son’s lacrosse coach has mislead other parents and definitely students.</p>
<p>Bottom line – pick the school because you like the campus, the major, the teachers, the location, the opportunities for internships and jobs after graduation…and oh, sure, if I can play my sport there, it will be icing on the cake. But not essential to me being happy at the school.</p>
<p>Looking back, several things related to this topic still amaze me:</p>
<p>1: Coaches often play the best hand they have at the moment. If they make promises to your son/daughter, and the next week a better player shows up at their door, your D/S are history. Ironically no parent or athlete thinks this will ever happen to them.</p>
<p>2: The large percentage of HS athletes who plan to play 4 years of college sports, but then quit playing. They quit due to injuries, change of coaches, change of heart, or they’re tired of giving up their life for sports.</p>
<p>3: How much college athletes miss with the wide variety of clubs, activities, and normal everyday college life.</p>
<p>…^^^^ very true. And once their days in the limelight of sports at that college are over…what next if they never really got a degree and didn’t finish studying since they were either always traveling/practicing/working out for their sport???</p>
<p>It is one thing if your son/daughter wants to use sports participation to help pay for their college education, but quite another if they think that sport will eventaully become their ‘career’. Your family needs to have an honest discussion about those realities BEFORE getting caught up in the whole recruiting thing.</p>
<p>I would like to share my experiences with those reading this topic. My son and daughter attended D1 colleges as recruited athletes in the sport of rowing. My son attended an Ivy. My daughter attend a Big East school.</p>
<p>I hope my thoughts and experiences are of some guidance to the parents of high schoolers who are or anticipate being recruited in a D1 non revenue sport (not college basketball or football). Some of my points may seem obvious to your/ other points may not.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>There is no free money. Athletic scholarships come with a price. A D1 athlete should be prepared to spend 20+/- hours per week out of season and 30+/- hours per week in season.</p></li>
<li><p>Athletic scholarships are renewable on an annual basis. If your child gets hurt, doesn’t produce as expected, there is a coaching change, or your kid quits or is injured then the athletic scholarship may be pulled. If given the option I believe an athlete should accept for merit aid rather than an athletic scholarship.</p></li>
<li><p>Fewer athletes in non revenue sports get “full rides” than you may believe. The NCAA sets caps on the number of scholarships any school can give. I have attached a link which identifies the # of scholarships a college sport team can give. Most students that receive an athletic scholarship for a non revenue sport receive a partial ride. [NCAA</a> Scholarship Allotment](<a href=“http://www.berecruited.com/resources/recruiting-assistance-from-qput-me-in-coachq/ncaa-scholarship-allotment]NCAA”>http://www.berecruited.com/resources/recruiting-assistance-from-qput-me-in-coachq/ncaa-scholarship-allotment)</p></li>
<li><p>D2 schools can award athletic scholarships. D3 colleges may not award athletic scholarships. If a parent tells you that their kid is receiving an “athletic scholarship” at a D3 school then they are lying to you or themselves possibly calling financial or merit aid an athletic scholarship.</p></li>
<li><p>Be skeptical of what a coach tells you and your child. Most D1 recruiting for non revenue sports is done by an assistant coach. The longevity of many assistant is brief. The assistant may be “stacking” recruits for limited openings. I have heard a number of stories about coaches telling the parent and recruit that they are the #1 recruit in that cycle only to have the offer pulled. Don’t believe that recruiting is over until you get the acceptance letter in hand.</p></li>
<li><p>Most coaches do not want to deal with parents. Many coaches complain the parents get too involved in the process. The coach would rather speak with our son or daughter than to you. I know of one instance where a coach stopped recruiting he athlete because the parent became too intrusive in the process. My advice is that you go to the official visit with your son or daughter, shake the caches hand, exchange brief pleasantries then leave and let your kid spend one on one time with the coach and team members. Explain to you son or daughter that on an overnight visit the coach will ask for reports from the team hosts. I am aware of one instance on my daughters team where a recruit came to campus and headed straight to a bar with fake ID over the objections of her student hosts which, as you can guess, caused the coach to stop recruiting that athlete. </p></li>
<li><p>If your son or daughter really want to go to a school but has not received an offer for an official visit then have your kid or their coach (not you) to ask if you can have an unofficial visit at which they may be able to capture the coaches attention.</p></li>
<li><p>All things being equal use the non revenue sport as leverage to get admitted into the best academic school possible. An Ivy or elite D3 school cannot offer your son/ daughter a scholarship but the coach has a limited number of “academic preferences” which gives an applicant a boost in the admissions process. The concept of “academic preferences” exist at pretty near all schools. </p></li>
<li><p>Many (if not most) recruited athletes in non revenue sports do not stay on the team for their entire 4 years as an undergrad. Don’t label these kids as quitters. Many leave the team for academic reasons. Many leave the team when they don’t get the playing time they hope for. Explain to your son or daughter that the coach that is romancing them today will attempt to recruit over them. </p></li>
<li><p>Subject to finances let your son or daughter select the school they will attend.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>The athletic recruitment process can be an emotional roller coaster.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>otis,</p>
<p>That should be required reading for any recruit. Well done. I agree 100%.</p>
<p>Ditto. Well done Otis!</p>
<p>Otis – Great Post! Parents should especially take head of the last 2 (9&10) – The emotional roller coaster may continue on through-out school – another reason why some don’t continue through 4 years.</p>
<p>Thank you Otis. I’ll print it out and have my D read it when she gets back tomorrow from her first OV.</p>
<p>In the end it is al a matter of gut feel. My D was “convinced” before the process that shew wanted a D1 swim team --preferably Ivy–but in the end after being talking into visiting a NESCAC school by an old friend on the team she “fell in love” with the school and the program and decided to apply ED. When I asked her about the “absolutely urban, absolutely d1, absolutely an university…” she looked at me funny and said simply-- I changed my mind.<br>
BTW-- one month in-- she has definitely drunk the cool-aid. She has made the right choice (which we from the outset thought would be the best choice buy Heaven forfend we EVER mentioned that-- she would run the other way merely to spite her parents…). haha</p>
<p>This is lots of great advise. My D has 2 OV’s coming up in Jan. She is ecstatic about one, as it is from her 1st choice school. This school was not even considered at first because it did not have the Pre-Vet courses she was looking for. But after her UV, she fell in love with the school and likes the coach very much. She is heavily involved with her sport and it is very much a part of her so she is willing to major in Biology to compete at a Div. I school. She has several choices, including a school with a pre-vet program that has offered her a full ride, except they only offer her sport at club level. She applied EA to all of her top Div. I choices ( 7 ) and has been accepted to all. So far only 2 OV’s planned. Several of her friends that she competes with have signed NLI’s already. Wondering how likely it will be that she will recieve anymore OV’s? Do most schools recruit in the fall?</p>
<p>^^^^</p>
<p>This is exactly one of the things that I’m dreading about in this process … how to balance what is best sports-wise versus what is best academics-wise.</p>
<p>What will happen if we face the same thing? Should child go to school A if it’s a great athletic fit but maybe they don’t quite have the desired major? Should the student select the better academic fit but, as you say, it is a club team only? Etc.</p>
<p>It’s easy to say that our children are not going to be professional athletes so academics should always win out. But I think most of us know that it is not that easy at all.</p>
<p>crittermom,
I don’t know what sports your D played so I don’t know if it applies. AU (patriot league) gave D several dates for OV, only 1 in the fall with the advice of not going for OV in the fall if she does not plan to apply for ED. D’s sport is swimming. As she’s decided to sign with another D1 school, we did not follow up. Maybe others will have more info about the patriot league, I’ve heard they are different in their recruiting than other schools? IMHO, only sign in the fall if you are a good fit academically/athletically/financially. When I look at when recruits signed (again, only for swimming), there are plenty of kids sign in the spring and they have good athletic stats.
Regarding academics, I don’t know much about pre-vet, but if it’s similar to pre-med, pre-PT (which is what D is planning to study), I think as long as the school has the prerequisite classes, I think it should be fine. D is planning to major in biopsychology at a small LAC in preparation for her PT grad school. I hope this info helps.</p>
<p>Thanks techmom13. My D’s sport is Equestrian. In our world this is a very $$$ sport. In order to compete you need to not only have the $$$ but the horse as well. What makes her the person she is today is what she has learned through her sport. I will guess that any other parent out there of a child that rides would agree that it is not just a demanding sport, but a lifetime bond that they have aquired and it is hard to give up. Most of us horseshow parents hope that they will be able to get on a team so that they may continue thier Passion and we can retire or sell our horses at home. Her Academic STATS are superior and she is a National Scholar, so we are hoping that Merit aid and NCAA scholarship funds will get her through. I have heard from others also that if the school offers a good Biology program and prerequisite class than it is OK. So I am thinking that as far as she goes it will be better for her even Academically if she is attending the school that gives her not only the Academics but the competitive sport that she undoubtably loves and keeps her challenged as an individual. She has worked very hard for an NCAA scholarship and it is her goal to get be on a Div 1 team and we have spent a lot of $$$ to get her to this level. But you are right that a good decision must be made when everything fits. She has not visited the club school and perhaps will change her mind when she does. Congrats to your D for signing with a Div 1 school!<br>
@ GolfFather I think the question is going to be relient on how demanding the child’s schedule is. IMO these kids with high test scores and AP classes come out of Sr. High burnt out and ready to cut loose the strings. Some kids are better diving right into Academics and leaving the sports behind. Some, like mine need a distraction and being on a team ( in her case, riding) keeps them focused. I am pretty sure my D will take the school with the most competitive sports team( she is competitive ) and think there will be time for real studying when she goes to grad school.</p>
<p>Critter: How I feel your discomfort…The DD also rides (hunter/jumper). She balances her riding time with her other sports (softball & field hockey). Winter season is for serious riding (shows, Wellington, FL) Fall is field hockey and Spring/Summer softball & riding. She has a horse but it certainly is not anything special. The cost of purchasing a riding partner that would take to to ride in all of the top shows is beyond what we can financially manage.</p>
<p>To date she’s not overwhelmed with EC’s as her GPA is 3.5 thru mid 10th grade at a very challanging private high school.</p>
<p>D knows equestrian sports are a big stretch collegiately. Many of the schools here in the East have very competitve club teams. She enjoys her riding but unless something unusual occurs she’ll be competing for a roster spot on either the field hockey or softball teams at her ultimate destinaion.</p>
<p>Threesdad: I wish her lots of luck. The Equestrian teams seem to be getting more & more competitive each year. My D was pretty confidant that she was in the top of choices for fall recruitment. Unfortunately her horse was hurt and she was unable to go back east for the finals. Later we found out that quite a few girls from here in our state that were able to go back for the finals were all recruited. It was very dissapointing and discouraging. She is a very competitive rider and has been fortunate to own a very nice Jr. horse, and qualify for all the finals. Even had her horse been well enough to travel, there was the question of affording that luxury to do so. My D was invited and competed in all the National shows in 2010 and it killed us financially. Unlike most HS sports, Equestrian is done outside the school and on the parents own dime and time. Our school was even shocked to learn that there were such college scholarships for Equestrians because it is such an emerging sport.
As of right now, you can imagine how excited she is to have 2 official visits lined up so far, so we feel blessed. Is your D a senior this year? If not I encourage her to take advantage of the summer clinics at the colleges. Auburn has a great one as well as Texas A&M. It is a great way to see how being on a team can be. At first my D was unsure, but just this past month she was invited to the National EAP finals and got to participate as a team. ( Nation’s Cup style ) she loved it! I do feel that some very good riders get overlooked due to their inabilaty to ride at top shows. I know they look to see if riders have catch riding experiance also, but honestly in todays economy not many coaches are looking for catch riders. If your D can find a sales barn or a trainer to work for that is a big plus!!! I have no idea how softball or field hockey works. Maybe there are more scholarships out there and probably more schools to choose from.</p>
<p>GolfDad:
consider that there are 86 DI women’s rowing teams there actually are a lot to pick from, across a wide range of schools in terms of size and location. Add in the small number of DII and DIII, and it is a reasonable assortment for varsity rowing. I just drew the line at club–told DD we would pay for college, but not rowing or her dancing. </p>
<p>We aren’t out of the woods yet with my daughter, but we used having crew as the first cut, then all the academics. Finally, the feel of the campus, NOT THE TEAM, is the biggest factor to narrow her applications down. We were lucky she had few other initial limitations on size, geography, etc.</p>
<p>That said, she doesn’t have EA answers much less RD ones. And we’re trying not to let the pre-reads give too much confidence since she can’t decide until she knows all the results.</p>
<p>GolfFather–that balance is the hardest part of this process I think. Then you add in the little things about a campus and it’s REALLY HARD. DD got letters from about 100 coaches, about 50 added phone calls and emails on a regular basis and were genuinely interested in her. That alone was very hard because it got to the point she just didn’t want to answer her phone or look at emails. I took over that part for her and screened her emails and phone calls. I would look up the schools to see what they had to offer and if they were possibilities, passed the info along to her. If not, delete.</p>
<p>She narrowed down her choices to 9 schools, 2 of which were VERY safety schools. Of the 7 real contenders, they were emailing and calling on a very regular basis. She basically told all the coaches where she stood and that in the end it will probably come down to money since all 7 of those schools were good fits academically. She was the top recruit at all of her schools.</p>
<p>On “decision night” we talked through each school with her, pros/cons, etc. She had one clear favorite all along but they just couldn’t come up with the funds–to her parent’s relief because we didn’t like that school for her at all–the school was fine, the coach, not at all—and not at all means a lot because it was our alma matter!!</p>
<p>We got it narrowed down to 3 schools. I think she wanted to go to one school the most out of those 3 but just couldn’t get past the campus–it was pretty plain compared to the other schools. A 4th school was very enticing because of the campus but they just didn’t come up with the dollars either. The school with the plain campus even told her and us, let us know if you need more money. I think by that time DD was just sick of the process and wanted to pick one so she did. I think that what made her pick the school she did was that there was a good chance her brother would be there or very close by depending on his final choice.</p>
<p>Academically I think the school she picked is a slight step down from the other two on her final list but not bad. I think the plain campus would have been the best fit all around though. The 3rd school was academically the best overall but her sport was only going to be an OK fit. Coach was fine but I don’t think they had the real “team” atmosphere she will have at other schools.</p>
<p>She will be fine at any school. Her concerns, while understandable, will disappear in about 20 minutes of being on campus-mainly that she doesn’t know anyone. She is friendly and outgoing, not going to be an issue but being that we are not 17 we can see that, she cannot :D. We are planning on going for a visit sometime in Jan or Feb so she can connect with future teammates and get to know the coach better. Hopefully they can Facebook over the summer and she will feel more comfortable from the get go there. That is the best benefit of a fall sport in college, getting on campus early, getting to know your way around and meeting people before classes start. They have a pretty extensive freshman orientation too so she will be just fine when classes start.</p>
<p>SteveMA. Thanks for the great rundown!</p>
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<p>I agree 100%. Plus I forgot to add one thing …</p>
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<p>Yup, exactly.
Though very early, her three current top possibilities are all private and very expensive LACs.
We’ve already given our D a general parameter ceiling of equal to COA for what an in-state school would be for us.
But I dread the possibility that my D will wind up having her heart set on a particular school and it turns out that the money is just not there.</p>
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<p>Absolutely. I think that is one of the great values of Facebook. My D did the same thing before returning from overseas and entering high school.</p>
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<p>There doesn’t seem to be seasonal sports anymore. Coaches now expect athletes to train all year round. One of my D’s teammates from last year had to arrive on campus in the summer shortly after graduation.</p>
<p>GolfDad: summer arrival for rowing? I haven’t heard of that with the schools kids from our team have been recruited to, nor from any of the 9 teams DD visited. Obviously, it happens, but ask around. I’ll bet it doesn’t with DIII (all of the ones I know about are DI.)</p>
<p>I think one of the advantages of being on a team in Fall of freshman year, especially at a large school, is having an immediate group of kids and bond. Until dorms are really home or other activities kick in, it is a good transition. I’ve heard that from many parents whose kids rowed even only a season or two.</p>