Daughter is recruited athlete but says no way...anyone else been through this?

<p>Hi Everyone~</p>

<p>My daughter is a recruited athlete already (she's a high school sophomore) and she has told us that she will not, under any circumstances, be a college athlete. She has great academics as well so is banking on scholarship money for academics, so the money is a non-issue.</p>

<p>I was wondering if anyone else has had a child in this situation? I am just concerned that this may be one of the biggest regrets of her life.</p>

<p>She said that she wants to have a true college experience and not be a slave to a sport.</p>

<p>Please listen to your daughter.</p>

<p>I say good for her. I know too many kids whose whole college career was a slave to their sport!! Their studies were a distant second. Usually they regretted it later on. (Although not always!) The most important thing is for her to find an academic interest that excites her and devote herself to that!!</p>

<p>Smart girl!</p>

<p>My college roommate swam for her freshman year. She felt she made no friends outside of swim team. The pool was her world. She gave it up as a sophomore and felt she had a life. </p>

<p>You might find a way to let her know about Division III schools – and intramural sports . There could be some ways to have sports and have a college life too. </p>

<p>Particularly if her sport is soccer, I would say “yeah for you daughter!”. Girls soccer has gotten completely nutzo. The kids feel they have to play seven days a week to be competitive. It’s insane – and too many end up with destroyed knees and plantar fascia problems. I know one 30 year old woman who hobbles around like she’s 80 – all because she burned herself up as a soccer player.</p>

<p>She might want to check into D3 sports, but there might not be as much academic merit money out there as you might think. There are some good threads on this forum about merit money and which schools are good bets for that sort of thing.
If she doesn’t want to play her sport at the intense level of D1, I can certainly understand that. Many, many kids make the same decision. Many drop their sports after one year or so, too.</p>

<p>I went through this with my son. She may well be fee;ing some burnout already. These days, with travel teams and year round competition, many HS athletes have already put in mor ethan 5 years of very hard work and sports is becoming more of a job than a game. And college–especially at the D1 level–is much, much worse.</p>

<p>My son decided he wanted to study, play intramurals and have fun. It made sense to me.</p>

<p>D3 can be more relaxed (but not always) and perhaps she might not realize that.</p>

<p>I have a niece who was a star athlete in high school but chose not to be recruited because she thought she was sick of her sport. Her application results were more disappointing than she anticipated (without the athletic hook) compared to her peers, and she admitted that she regretted not playing in college.</p>

<p>A scholarship as an athlete with good grades would allow her to get into and pay for a better college than one where she just gets merit aid. While it’s her life it’s hardly a straight swap just leaving out sports. For example as a high level athlete with great grades she might be a good candidate for a top D-1 private such as Stanford, Northwestern, Duke etc. Just a merit based scholarship might result in choices like Lehigh, Baylor etc. Quite a gap there.</p>

<p>She has great academics as well so is banking on scholarship money for academics, so the money is a non-issue.</p>

<p>Since your D is only a sophomore, what are you basing her great academics on? GPA? ACT? SAT? PSAT?</p>

<p>Many kids feel the same way as your D. It can be very difficult juggling a college sport and academics, while also having some sense of a college life.</p>

<p>Some athletes have to carefully schedule their classes so that they don’t have any real demanding classes during their season. That can be almost impossible if the major requires sequenced courses.</p>

<p>I agree with those who say listen to your daughter. But don’t rule out that she might change her mind before she graduates. Could happen. Also agree with those who say D1 college athletics rules their lives. Many of the highly anticipated ‘breaks’ from school don’t apply to them. Will she (or you) like the idea of arriving home for Christmas on Christmas Eve and return less than a week later? You can substitute the same for other breaks where you want her to come home, and she needs to come home.</p>

<p>Not many athletes are actually being recruited as high school sophomores. Most coaches want to see how the athlete develops at least through junior year (injuries etc). Don’t believe everything a coach might be telling you at this point.</p>

<p>barrons is right that her chances of being admitted to a top college are increased tremendously if she is a recruited D1 athlete.</p>

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<p>While I think it is wrong to accept an admissions offer that is premised on a false promise to play, remember that no one is ever forced to stay on a team, especially if money is no object.</p>

<p>If your D says NO WAY after being recruited as a sophomore, you should congratulate her for her common sense. </p>

<p>On the other hand, you probably should encourage her to keep enjoying her sport and keep an open mind when the phases of legitimate recruiment will start. Since she is prepared to say NO, she won’t be disappointed in the circus that will fly into town. </p>

<p>As far as experience, there are many student-athletes who loved most of their collegiate experience, and probably many more who made the best decision in their short life when they paid little attention to the sirens’ song and hollow promises of college “recruiters.”</p>

<p>Wow. She’s a sophomore! What is her perspective? I am not in any way suggesting she is wrong. I am just trying to imagine the perspective of a sophomore-recruited-athlete-with-great academics-is-banking-on scholarship-money-for-academics."</p>

<p>another vote for intramural and club sports. Also, don’t be too sure about money not being an issue until you have those scholarships in hand. </p>

<p>Also I am confused, I may be totally wrong here but I thought you couldn’t be contacted by coaches until Junior year? How can a kid be a recruited athlete as a sophomore?</p>

<p>*I am just trying to imagine the perspective of a sophomore-recruited-athlete-with-great academics-is-banking-on scholarship-money-for-academics." *</p>

<p>*Also, don’t be too sure about money not being an issue until you have those scholarships in hand.
*</p>

<p>Very true. You child may be wanting to go to a top school that doesn’t give merit scholarships. Many schools do not give merit scholarships.</p>

<p>Has she mentioned attending any particular schools by name?</p>

<p>Has she take the ACT - SAT - PSAT yet? If so, what were her scores?</p>

<p>Read The Tennis Partner and you’ll understand your daughter’s point of view. It’s not just about being a scholarship athlete, but that part is persuasive.</p>

<p>[Amazon.com:</a> The Tennis Partner (9780060931131): Abraham Verghese: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Tennis-Partner-Abraham-Verghese/dp/0060931132/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264567860&sr=1-1]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Tennis-Partner-Abraham-Verghese/dp/0060931132/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264567860&sr=1-1)</p>

<p>Wow. Thanks everyone for all of your input. I am going to try and answer a few questions that I remember people asking…</p>

<p>First of all, my D is very mature and very driven for her age. But, she also loves to have a good time.</p>

<p>When I said great academics I was meaning this…she has a 4.00 gpa UW, with honors and AP classes (as many as she can at her school - which is not many). Her school is ranked about 80th out of 700 in Ohio. She just scored 210 on the PSAT (as a sophomore), so hoping for a little higher next year and most likely National Merit Scholarship. She has strong EC’s, and she is fluent in Spanish and tutors ESL (english second language) for the school, etc. She lettered in 3 varsity sports as a freshman, is in key club, will be NHS for sure, photo editor for yearbook (has been asked to be Editor in Chief for next year), Drill Team Captain, community service hours and more. So based on this, there should be scholarship money out there for her somewhere. She is definitely not interested in HYPS. She wants to go to pharmacy school or nursing school and then nurse anesthetist school. So she is most concerned with keeping undergrad loans low or non-existent. She just had a long conversation about that with her orthodontist!</p>

<p>As far as being recruited as a sophomore…her sport is diving. That is why you can tell now that she is college level material. It is all based on scores. She is scoring now what good divers do in college. This is why recruiters (that have been present for junior and senior divers) have already gotten her info. and contacted us. She is also done growing. She has been 5’2" and 105 lbs. for the past 2 years and Dr. says she’s done growing. So she won’t have issues with growth and her sport.</p>

<p>Her perspective is this…her cousin is on a 5-year full ride for wrestling at a D1 school. He is in his 5th year this year. He loved it and hated it all at the same time. He is absolutely burned out to the max and they always talk and he tells her not to do it! She has told me and her coach so many times that she doesn’t want to do 2 a days and be out of town every week and get no breaks, etc. She also doesn’t want to only have friends on the swim team. She just wants to be a normal college kid and get good grades for grad school. Her “dream” is actually this…she wants to attend University of Florida and be on their Dazzlers dance team. BUT I can’t see paying that much for tuition at an OOS school like UF. So she knows that we need to look at some realistic options.</p>

<p>Her father and I absolutely respect her decision and she will decide for herself. I just wanted to know if anyone has had children with regrets, etc.</p>

<p>Thanks so much for all of the great advice. :)</p>

<p>I’d have to agree that you can only say money is no issue if the family is happy to contrubute whatever it takes. Few colleges give academic scholarships anywhere near as big as athletic ones.</p>