<p>I would take a few choice college brochures with tuition prices, or print off the pages from the colleges’ websites, and sit down with the parents on a calm day. (April is not a good month because of taxes - wait for May if you can.) Make them a cup of tea or something to show you’re serious about having a talk.</p>
<p>They may have no idea of the rise in tuition cost, or have stashed it in the back of their minds. You shouldn’t expect to get a firm number in just one talk, but should agree on a few items that will get you both moving in the right direction. Have another talk during the summer, before you commit to a final list of schools or any ED strategy.</p>
<p>I think you get your parents involved. It could start with as simple a statement as “I want to start researching colleges but I don’t know what kind of budget you have, can you help.” And agree with Calmom, very few families plan on paying for grad schools, but I’m guessing if you start the discussion with your parents they will lay it out for you. </p>
<p>TrueLove, there are some parents that do not pay for their kids college and some parents that do and many families piece it together where the kids contribute some and the family contributes some. Every family is different. Generally parents that do pay don’t do it because they feel obligated, they pay because they, personally, feel it’s the right thing to do and they want to. There is no right or wrong answer.</p>
<p>Let’s not get side tracked on whether it’s a parents responsibility to pay for their kids college education. The OP is asking for information on how to start a conversation with her parents about paying for her college. </p>
<p>I agree with the posters that have mentioned the fact that many parents truly have no clue as to the cost of college and I feel it’s extremely important to get some parameters set up before visiting. My suggestion is to go together to an information session at a college you are interested in and take it from there. Admissions presentations generally have basic looking at college info. From there it would be easy enough to start talking about what your parents are willing to pay.</p>
<p>But when they go to those information sessions (Post #23), the OP’s parents will likely hear the school reps say,</p>
<p>“Higher education is an investment, and we want to make sure that every deserving student has the opportunity to attend our school, so we will work diligently with each family to make it affordable for them.”</p>
<p>Leading them to believe (as so many others have believed – mistakenly!) that finances will not be an issue.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for all the input. Now I have strategies for when I talk to them about finances. I think they are somewhat aware of the cost of college, but not completely. I don’t think my family is eligible for significant financial aid.</p>
<p>@Neonzeus - First off, cool name. Second, one parent is far more open and rational to these sort of discussions than the other parent, so I will start the conversation with the parents, who is also more likely to give me an accurate answer.</p>
<p>worried mom in post 24 is probably right, every college will call it an investment.
Actually, most people selling a product or service call it an investment. It sounds better.
For the student chipping in his own money, it is an investment. For a parent chipping in money for their offspring, it is a gift. Putting their own money in their own 401k would be an example of an investment.</p>
<p>Not to say a parent giving is good or bad, just to say a college is in the business of selling.</p>
<p>I would suggest asking your parents if there is a yearly budget they would suggest for your college selection without you personally taking out loans. You really need to know this as you do not want to be caught with final college choices that are not financially feasible.
An in state school as well as a private school with good merit where you are well over the 75th percentile could provide good financial safeties.
A lot of debt at the undergraduate level will make paying for graduate school very difficult.
I beleive you parents will be impressed that you are concerned about the financing of your college education. It also shows that you are taking their needs into account too.
Good luck.</p>
<p>Just a quick remark that the cost of graduate school depends on the program. Students in a P.h.D. program in science or engineering can expect to receive full tuition support plus a stipend that covers moderate, student-level living expenses (about $25,000, in our area). Students do not need to be at the top of the class of admitted graduate students to receive these funds–practically everyone in the program gets tuition + stipend. </p>
<p>In medicine or law, obviously, the situation is quite different. I’m not sure about grad programs in the humanities, although some fellowship/teaching assistantship support is available.</p>
<p>My husband insisted on this approach for our kids, and boy, did it backfire.</p>
<p>He told them that, because we can afford it, they could go to any undergraduate college they could get admitted to, and that we would pay for it, but that the money would be cut off when they graduated.</p>
<p>One of our kids wants to get an MBA after several years of working – and she knew that this was what she wanted before she started college. If my husband had said “If you choose a less expensive college or get a merit scholarship, you can have the money saved toward graduate school” she likely would have made her college choice with this in mind. But given the rules he set, she chose a very expensive undergraduate institution because she had no motivation to do otherwise. And when the time comes for business school, she will have to go into debt. In no way does this make sense, in my opinion, but my husband is the one with the money, so I had no choice but to go along with it.</p>
<p>I have no idea what range of schools you are interested in, but do be aware that some of the highly endowed schools have generous FA for families making what I’d consider to be a lot. Princeton has an online FA calculator. If you might be interested in applying to it or similar schools, I’d ask your parents to run their figures through the calculator to see if they consider it a viable financial option. What a school considers to be your EFC can be different from what the online FA forecasters predict. Sometimes a school will consider your EFC to be much higher, but sometimes it works in your favor.</p>
I think it’s important to note that colleges will not agree with you when it comes to calculating what they will charge you to attend–their calculations will assume that your parents will assist you. If your parents are well off, that will severely impact your access to loans, grants, and work-study opportunities. I fear that some parents and students may not understand that the concept of “working your way through college” is no longer practical for many colleges.</p>
<p>I agree in the sense that I took care of my own degrees but that was at a time when
the cost of a university education was small in relation to what you could earn with
unskilled labor. Today, the ratio of earnings required to pay for university to unskilled labor wages is much higher and this reduces choice for a lot of student. If you go to community college for two years, you can certainly take this approach as tax credits and the things that you mentioned should cover your educational costs. Two years of university would be a little harder but overall debt should be below average.</p>
<p>A lot of parents do feel a responsibility for college - we’re in that camp. I got awful grades outside my major in my first year of college and part of that was due to working 20 hours a week. Still, no regrets.</p>
<p>ncm2012,
"currently going to a pricey private school, and wants to go to med school later. " - if one is going to Med. School eventually, then assumption is that he/she was top caliber student to begin with which usually results in Merit scholarships. This story is kind of unusual and besides if the plan is for Med. School, then again it is not clear why to pay for UG when the name of UG is not important. It seems that this family has unlimited resources, but then again, why there is discussion about finances. We have never discussed any financial questions, D. was very smart not to ask. She was also very smart to get her stats to be eligible for Merit scholarships. We are not paying tuition for her UG, she does not have loans either. Because of all of that we promised support her financially thru Med. School, although we are not at all well to do, just average middle class.</p>