Don’t try to convince her now. Accept how she feels. It’s scary to think about your kind traveling and being vulnerable. Once you get to school, gather information about the overseas programs that you are interested in and talk to her about your choices from an informed perspective. Then go from there.
Has she never traveled much herself? I have lived in 3rd world countries for 50+ years. Last time I got a hellhole feeling was in a recent visit to San Diego.
One of my kids lived in a third world country in a very small village at least 2 hours from the capital.
She loved it…and so did we when we visited.
Mom’s have to grow up too and get use to the idea of their kids doing things that scare them, like travel. I remember worrying about other mom’s driving on field trips when my kids were in grade school! Slowly we get better at handling things out of our control. They eventually take their first flight solo, then a first flight overseas, it is a process. It sounds like your mom is familiar with Japan so it is easier to be comfortable with that, while she is uncomfortable with places she doesn’t know. It is easy for us mom’s to worry when the internet only provides the bad news about other places. Ask her to look into and research the places you are considering so you can talk about it when you are home next summer. Send her some links to help the process. But give her time, she will adjust to more with you away at school and may be open more to this with time and information.
You also have to decide if Japan is the best way to go for you, or if you really want to go somewhere else. From some things you said (language background), Japan may be great. Any chance the other places seem better also because your mom doesn’t want you to go there?
OP, one other suggestion. Be sure not to give her a reason to question your maturity. Being very responsible and proactive about your life may show her you have grown and can handle the challenges. I am a more reluctant Mom. Was happy when oldest went with school May term program where they took their own professors and a whole group. Other D did a summer in England, but was after her junior year but not with a group. But no language barrier. Her best friend has been to Thailand, India and Africa (during last disease outbreak) - I would have had a hard time doing that!
Follow up on how classes are presented and graded and if they transfer/impact your GPA. Will it impact your graduation date?
If you’re in the US, you’re already in a country where you are more likely to be shot than just about anywhere else on earth, except for maybe Syria or Afghanistan. You might be safer heading just about anywhere else.
The state department produces a good summary on each country: https://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/country.html. Most of Peru is relatively safe, although drug traffickers control some parts of the countryside.
Many countries as or more dangerous than Syria or Afghanistan but yes, no where is perfectly safe. Japan is one of the options that is closest.
If I was considering safety first…Australia would be at the top of my list…followed by Singapore.
If you have been studying Japanese, your mom is comfortable with your going to Japan and you are “cool” with it then Japan seems to be the logical/easy answer. You will have the rest of your life to travel elsewhere.
If however, you have a reason you want to go elsewhere then do the research needed to convince your mom it is safe.
Not feeling so good about S being in Lebanon right now! Ack.
Some people get lucky and have a great experience in the midst of danger. Some people are less lucky.
Some people try not to depend on luck too much and they do research instead.
Judging on what I’ve read, college itself is more dangerous than it should be. That fact should spur the kind of change we’re finally seeing, with another college (in Florida,) shutting down frats: We don’t send our kids to school to become drunks or to die stupid, wasteful deaths.
How well read and well traveled is your mother? If her opinion is based on experience and research, I’d listen to her. Frequently schools use travel investigation services that only make a profit if students travel: You never want to make a safety choice based on a money-making enterprise’s opinion over the opinion of an intelligent, informed person who really loves you.
Plus, Japan is great!!
^Plus professionally, it makes since to complete the work learning Japanese and become truly proficient rather than be skilled in two languages with a moderate proficiency.
Since OP may be a CS or engineering major, a program that adds to that education and experience can matter. Not just that, but also graduating on time.
As a freshman, he has time to understand his interests, learn more about the away opportinities, and make the wise decision.
^Yes. Traveling to Japan for a year adds a full year to your education. DS is in CE with a Japanese minor (so similar). The year in Japan is half a year at a uni. Hokkaido! If he can maintain a 3.3 GPA. And a paid internship. The expectation is that you sort of break even financially. And hopefully, you are making professional contacts.
This is a great exercise in perspective taking - you might want to point out to your mom that the rest of the world is currently convinced the US is a place full of crazy loners shooting guns left and right, but of course this isn’t true, just as the rest of the world isn’t full of unsafe hellholes either. You always feel safer with the devil you know…
Reminds me of the postgrad in Oxford who told me, with a big eye roll, that his grandma was freaked out about a bombing in London and wanted him to come home to be safer…in Israel.
[QUOTE=""]
If you're in the US, you're already in a country where you are more likely to be shot than just about anywhere else on earth, except for maybe Syria or Afghanistan. You might be safer heading just about anywhere else. <<
[/QUOTE]
it’s funny that you wrote this because according to the list posted by @ucbalumnus , the US is twice as dangerous as Syria. personally i would feel much safer here.
The date listed is 2010 (before the civil war, probably the last time any reliable statistics were gotten), and it has a note that there is a civil war there now.
^Also, America is a big place. Not every place has the same danger level.
"Also, America is a big place. Not every place has the same danger level.’
Although I agree in general, I bet folks in Sutherland Springs, TX thought it was a safe community.