How Do I Convince my Parents????

Applying to College
1

<p>I recently got into many top private schools that I love. I also got three full rides to schools that are ok, but I do not like as much, they are state schools. I know this is the age old question of prestigious top school/ivy vs. full ride state school, but I'm not really looking for reasons why i should take the full ride. Going to the other schools will leave us with debt, abt $160K after 4 yrs. I've already decided that I would rather go to the private school.</p>

<p>Is there anyone in this situation that has convinced their parents to not take the full ride. Also I am concidering graduate school, I want to get a PhD. I was recently told that most PhD programs are fully funded and are free to the student, is that true.</p>

2

<p>Will it be your debt or your parents’? $160K is a ton of money for most young PhD’s to pay back. If it’s your debt it will probably mean delaying buying a home, few vacations and luxury purchases…it will really cut into your post school lifestyle.</p>

<p>If it’s your parent’s taking on the debt, will it cut into their lifestyle and retirement more than they can comfortably handle?</p>

3

<p>We can handle it comfortably. My parents would just rather me take a full ride. I mean free is always good, but I think a top school is worth the investment. I dont know how to convince them!</p>

4

<p>Dude, I would NEVER think, even for a second, about putting my parents into that kind of debt for my own infatuation with post secondary college prestige. You can do just as well at a state school and save some money for grad school!</p>

<p>Then again, my parents make a meager 23k a year…</p>

5

<p>Show them how badly you want it by making sacrifices of your own. Work 2 jobs summers, take on some of the debt yourself, work a few hours per week during the school year.</p>

<p>I totally understand your desire to go to a top private. Talk to them about the small classes and great alumni networks for jobs and internships. Show them the payscale.com salary chart showing top school grads do make more money on average.</p>

<p>Just make sure it really is comfortable for them, man kids don’t have real insight into family finances.</p>

6

<p>^ thanks for the advice!!</p>

7

<p>I think the only way to convince them would be to pay a significant portion yourself. More than half.</p>

<p>Actually, if you’re so convinced it’s worth it, why not take it on, because your future earnings will compensate, right?</p>

8

<p>Those are great answers. We are in the same position and we told our D what we would be willing to pay at the privates, and the rest is her burden. We’ll see what she decides.</p>

9

<p>khsstitches: do you mean the publics? If you’re willing to pay at the privates, what exactly would be “her burden”?</p>

10

<p>I would say work your ass off (without ruining your life) and use all of that towards tuition. Above this work during college, and during all four summers. Not excessively, of course. 160k is a lot of debt to put your parents into in this economy. And if you plan on getting a PhD it’s a whole different game. </p>

<p>Remember the terminal degree is the most important. If you work really hard to do your part, I am sure your parents (if they can comfortably afford it, as you say) will do their part.</p>

11

<p>Wow. I’m with Zenbadabing.</p>

<p>Your parents should have had an on-going conversation about college finances before you ever applied to college. If they didn’t, I think they’re in the majority. Because we parents don’t always know just how to navigate these waters – particularly the first time around.</p>

<p>Perhaps they DID have this conversation with you. If so, are you keeping up your end of the bargain?</p>

<p>Do you recall any conversation that began something like this: “That’s nice that you’ve chosen these wonderful private schools, sweet, darling son/daughter, but you must realize that you’ll need x dollars in scholarships and grants before they’ll become realistic options for attendance.” Or: “I’m able to put this much money towards your college, sweet offspring, whether it’s a public or a private.” Or: “You must apply to at least one financial/admissions safety. And if no other school accepts you for the same cost, then you’ll need to attend that safety and like it. So make sure you pick a good one, dear child of mine!”</p>

<p>If they had this conversation with you, I’d say it’s time to bite the bullet and live up to your end of the bargain. No begging or negotiating allowed.</p>

<p>If they didn’t, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have. You say they can comfortably afford the extra $160? Yikes! Are you SURE? Like hmom5 said, a lot of kids don’t have real insight into their parents’ finances.</p>

<p>If a private really IS affordable to them, and if you didn’t make any prior commitments to your parents to accept your safety if the privates don’t come through with enough money, then I’m with hmom5’s advice.</p>

<p>If the $160k would be debt for your parents (or you), then whether or not you had the conversation with your folks, I would suck it up and go to the public for free. As a parent, I would be unconvinceable on this. $160k is a ridiculous amount of debt! No offense, but I don’t believe most 17 or 18 year olds can grasp the magnitude of so much debt … not how long it will take to pay it off … not how much it will cost in interest to pay it off. It’s WAY too much of a burden to place on your parents. And it’s there job to protect themselves and you from such a burden.</p>

<p>And, bright student who should be congratulated for his/her entrance into ivy league level privates … you can go to school for free? That’s huge! Save your money for you masters or doctorate and choose the public.</p>

12

<p>Oops. I of course meant “their” job to protect themselves and you! Not “there” job.</p>

<p>But then again, you’re the ivy league candidate, not me! (smile)</p>

13

<p>How do you know paying $160,000 for 4 years is a good investment? How can you be sure? Where or what company is willing to pay you more money than other people from State school and where you plan to work in the future? I have seen people with PhD degree make less money than some people that don’t even have master degree. If there are two candidates, one has PhD degree from a State college and another person has BS degree from Harvard. If I am the hiring supervisor, I will hire the person who has a PhD degree even he is only from a State school.</p>

14

<p>wow. I can’t believe you are willing to saddle your family with so much debt. Especially as you are planning to pursue a graduate degree.</p>

15

<p>If they can easily pay the 160k in debt, can’t they just as easily pay a portion this year, and YOU take up the debt? 160k in debt is no joke. People in that kind of debt, even for college, are usually ones who could not afford it yet they thought they delta between private and non private would make that difference.</p>

<p>Think this. Assume when you are out of your PhD, you make just as much as your parents (which I doubt you will, right off the bat). Would you be willing to incur such debt? I again wonder, if they can easily pay of that debt, are you sure they cannot pay a portion and YOU take the debt.</p>