Convincing Parents to let me go to Harvard

<p>Hi guys. Thanks for answering my post below, I'll try my best not to worry about it but ... I was wondering, my parents both went to big state schools and don't see the advantages of Harvard. They don't think its worth the extra $7 - 10K a year to go to an ivy over a state school. What can I do to convince them that Harvard is a lot better? Thanks.</p>

<p>Going to Harvard is a lot more like $30k more than our flagship state U. Without family wealth, great financial aid, or terrific scholarships, your parents might be saying "we can't afford it" in a way where they don't have to admit they can't afford it.</p>

<p>In terms of life outcomes, they are almost certainly right -- if you have what it takes to get into and do well at Harvard, you are going to do really well in life no matter where you go to school. Objectively, I'm with your parents.</p>

<p>Subjectively, if one of my kids got into Harvard I would certainly do a lot to see that he could matriculate there. It would have the potential to be a terrific experience.</p>

<p>I sympathize with your struggle, by the way. Until April of my senior year my parents were insisting that I spend two years a community college before going on to a university. I was a CC kid (you know -- overachiever), and was devastated. After my counselor and favorite teacher met with my parents and convinced them to change their minds, I talked my into a a UC campus (I didn't even take the SAT until June) that still had openings that late in the year and ended up having a great time in college. So, I appreciate your stress, and I know you are likely to have a happy ending no matter which way it goes. Good luck.</p>

<p>Without great financial aid? What are you talking about?</p>

<p>Are you at all familiar with Harvard's financial aid program? It's unbelievably generous. Families with annual incomes under $60,000 aren't expected to contribute at all to the cost of education- Harvard completely eliminates tuition for them. And families with annual incomes from $60,000-$80,000 have a very low contribution- I don't remember, but I believe it's around 2-3 thousand. Only at a point considerably up the economic ladder does a Harvard education actually cost 40k a year- for many, many families, it's considerably cheaper to pay for than a public school.</p>

<p>It depends entirely on your family's income, and in that sense it's up to them- even a family making enough not to qualify for financial aid could certainly decide they don't want to pay the high tuition. However, Kevin, make sure that your parents are aware of the financial aid that Harvard provides- the old stereotypes of it as "the most expensive school in the country" are just plain WRONG now.</p>

<p>Also, WashDad- even though tuition costs have skyrocketed since you went to college, financial aid options have also dramatically increased, often at a much higher rate. You should make sure you're aware of the programs of the colleges your kids are interested in.</p>

<p>First, you need to get accepted. Since those odds are about 1:10, worry about acceptance first. Just make sure that when you apply, your parents fill out the financial aid paperwork just in case you do get accepted.</p>

<p>What you posted yesterday indicates you're only a freshman. Take first things first. No need to worry about your parents' thoughts about Harvard when any possibility of your getting in is very much in the future.</p>

<p>What you posted:
"play AAU basketball
play trombone and am part of a band
placed 11th in the New Jersey State Geography Bee
play Little League Baseball (not sure this helps but I'll but it)
member of FIRST VEX robotics team
member of mock trial team"</p>

<p>Well, see the problem is that since I live in New Jersey the only state university is Rutgers. And both my parents and I have decided that I don't have to/don't want to go to Rutgers. So that means that I'll be paying out of state tuition somewhere. I was basing the $7 - $10K more based on Cal - Berkeley's out of state costs. So I guess that gives a little better background on where I'm coming from.</p>

<p>Northstarmom basically said everything.
1. You need to get into Harvard first, and chances are you won't (see the 1:10 statistic)
2. You need to make it to your junior/senior year of high school first
3. You need to decide what you are looking for in a college. What "advantages" does Harvard have that no other school has? Trust me, there's more than one school out there that offers a high-quality education (ie, "Harvard level") and prestige</p>

<p>I went to a state flagship university for my undergraduate degree. It was the only place I applied, and I was an automatic admit based on my SAT scores. And that was one of the first problems: it was too easy to get into that college, and that dragged down the whole intellectual atmosphere there, even though the students in my major subject (Chinese language) mostly were a self-selected group of strong students who wanted to take challenging courses. </p>

<p>I have no idea where my children will apply. (My oldest is a year or two away, at least, from really focusing on this issue.) But what I urge parents to do now, based on hindsight and on changing trends, is to be OPEN to allowing their children who desire to do so to apply to any school at all that looks like it has a suitable program, regardless of list price. Many students at Harvard pay less than full list price. Many students at Harvard who do pay full list price, and who evidently could get full-ride "merit scholarships" at other colleges, still think attending Harvard is worth it. My advice to parents--and I hope your parents will read this post--is to APPLY and let the decision be made after all the offers of admission and offers of financial aid are in. </p>

<p>My background for reconsidering my own college experience is that for years I worked as a Chinese-English interpreter for official visitors to the United States. A major emphasis of many of my interpreting assignments was traveling around the United States visiting colleges and universities. I have been to Harvard multiple times in that capacity, interpreting for interviews between visiting officials and various members of the Harvard faculty. I have also visited Yale, Princeton, Columbia, Stanford, U. of Chicago, MIT, Duke, Berkeley, UCLA, U. of Michigan, Georgetown, Caltech, and a variety of other colleges and universities in that capacity and many others on personal travel. As a math team coach for our homeschoolers support group, I try to be aware of what colleges are particularly strong in mathematics, science, and engineering, and in recent years I have attended regional information sessions in my town for Harvard, MIT, Princeton, Stanford, Caltech, Brown, Cornell, Dartmouth, U. of Virgina, Duke, Georgetown, Penn, Carnegie Mellon, Columbia, Rice, U. of Chicago, and the Colleges That Change Lives consortium of colleges. I have attended the NACAC National College Fair events multiple times in more than one city. I also attend information sessions at our state flagship university (my alma mater) and stay familiar with the universities with which my state's students have tuition reciprocity agreements. </p>

<p>A strong, motivated student can have a good experience at a state university, it is true, but there are opportunities in some fields that are more plentiful for, or exclusively available to, Ivy-caliber-college graduates. I would like all the young people I coach to have the best opportunities they can to succeed at their most ambitious goals, so I come here to gather information and talk to their parents about the benefits of APPLYING and comparing offers before dismissing out-of-state opportunities for college education.</p>

<p>P.S. For my family, and I have checked this, attending either Princeton or Harvard (should my son be admitted) would be LESS expensive than attending Berkeley, given the current financial aid policies at each school. If you are sure you are going out of state, you MUST check all kinds of colleges to be able to compare offers of financial aid realistically.</p>

<p>Ok thanks everyone for all your help. I will try not to worry about it for a couple of years.</p>