First of all, I got into both Brown, my first choice, and Berkeley. I’d be paying 30k for Berkeley but 55k for Brown (it’s a real stretch and I’d have to take out 10k or so in loans a year, but it’s doable.)
Both Berkeley and Brown have great student bodies, reputations, prestige, etc. I’m leaning towards Brown for the open curriculum and smaller classes and undergrad focus. On the other hand, I’m leaning towards Berkeley because, well, I wouldn’t have to pay as much.
Brown has been my first choice since freshman year, and I’m really struggling with this because I feel if I turn them down I’ll be letting everyone down. Myself, who’s wanted this so long, my friends, and my school (I’m the first person to get into an Ivy in 10 years…)
My parents are pushing me towards Berkeley, bribing me with things like a car and vacations, and while I do like the school I would hate to give up Brown and forever have to wonder what it would have been like to actually have gone.
I’m gonna be upfront and say this thread is mostly just so I can have my fears and doubts assuaged. I just don’t know. I’m sure many, many people have had to face a choice similar to this and I just wanted to know how you dealt with it and what you ultimately chose. Thanks.
Don’t kid yourself…“10K or so in loans a year” is $40,000+ worth of debt before you earn a dime as a professional, and before graduate school if that’s in the cards. It’s a LOT of money.
It will be a lot of money when you’re ready to buy your first house and still have that college loan to pay.
It will be a lot of money when your oldest needs braces and you still have that college loan to pay.
As to letting anyone down by your choice of college-- and Berkley at that???-- don’t give it a thought. You don’t owe anyone anything in this game. It’s not about your friends or your high school, it’s about YOU doing what’s best for YOUR future.
You got accepted into Brown. Wonderful. But it sounds to me as though Berkley is the better choice.
I went to community college, then commuted to the local university for both undergrad and grad school. It never occurred to me to do anything else-- I have 4 siblings and there simply wasn’t money to go away to school. But I was very lucky in that I grew up before the age of the internet; we had no idea that people worried about things like what others would think of our choice of college.
At the end of the day: all those people you’re worrying about disappointing won’t give you a thought in 4 years. They won’t remember your name or what schools you got accepted into or which one you choose. But if you choose Brown, you’ll still have that $40,000+ in debt to begin to pay off… a debt you took on because you didn’t want to disappoint people who haven’t given you a thought since your high school graduation.
Congrats on your acceptances. But I’m with your parents- choose Berkley.
When it comes to debt, I’m not as opposed to it as lots of people here, but I always ask the same question – what do you intend to study and what do you mostly likely want to be doing after college? 40k in debt isn’t the end of the world, but run the numbers through a debt calculator. If you are able to take out loans at say 4%, you’re looking at payments of $400+/month for 10 years. Whether that is doable or smart depends on what you intend to be doing after college (while keeping in mind that people change their minds and/or don’t always get the job that is their first choice). For a major like computer science or engineering – I think it’s doable on an entry level salary esp. if you’re willing to make cuts like not having a car if you end up in an east coast city or taking a first job in a low cost of living city in the south or Midwest where you can get experience but put the max dollars into repayment. For those who go to Brown pursuing things like economics, math, and/or physics and are dead set on ending up at an investment bank or consulting firm (whichever they can get into) – again 40k in debt is no big deal.
If OTOH you are thinking liberal arts and don’t know what kind of job you’d want at all – I’d say no way. Entry level jobs attained by pure liberal arts grads (think English or philosophy) pay incredibly low salaries; there are people graduating from respectable schools barely making 40k – the debt service will be more than you can handle. If your interests are med school or law school – I’d say no way; unless your family acquires a great deal of wealth in the next 4 yrs – chances are you would have to take on a lot of debt for med or law school – no reason to add another 40k to that total just because you wanted to go to Brown. Berkeley won’t hold you back in admissions in any way.
Finally – forget about your friends and HS. Easier said than done, I know. But you graduate in 2 months or less, and trust me – the vast majority of classmates who may profess to be so close to you or to be your lifelong BFFs won’t be in your life in another 2-3 years max. It doesn’t matter what they or your HS teachers think – when the debt service payments come month after month for 10 yrs after college – they will bear your name alone, not you plus your favorite math teacher.
It’s a thing that many people have to do. It’s sad, but many people end up choosing a school for financial reasons and they end up actually loving the place they enroll. Rarely do people look back with regret, it’s just how you may be feeling right now because decisions are looming. It doesn’t matter what your friends think, honestly it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because where you went to school will probably be 2 minutes of conversation out of the whole other things you will talk about. Plus, we naturally shift to people we are closer with in college anyway, not worth the month of interactions you may have with them left. It is not they that will have to bear the consequences to take out loans. And Berkeley is just as good as Brown if not better.
The best way to deal is to just meet and talk to people that will attend the same institution as you and get excited because you’re going places. Remember, the vast majority of students don’t end up going to college, so in hindsight, these matters are very trivial and are because we are in a relative position of privilege (and by we I mean the CC community).
This is not unusual to have a financials limit your choices it is happening all over right now. This is about your family and your money. Your school got an acceptance, that is a feather in the cap, it doesn’t mean you live your life for them or your friends–that is just teenage drama that will soon pass. Now the real issue is that debt sucks and is painful and restricting on choices like grad school, what job you can afford to take. If you think 4 years are long just think how long you will be paying and paying. What is your major?
Work over the numbers. If you would rather car and vacation money go toward Brown then say so after you have worked the numbers. Take the COA and see what can be trimmed. Oh and what has to be expanded. Is the travel allowance going to get you home for Winter break and summer? Plan to stay for thanksgiving and spring. You can always get a job at Brown. So you can make at least 600 to 900 per semester. You can work summers and make 3,000 at home but later you may be able to get a better paying internship. There are summer opportunities at brown to work and research. My dd did but I don’t know how much she saved. Summer sublets can be cheap though. She also saved money by moving off campus. Jr year is the earliest you can request it.
If you have to give it up then that is the end of that. You don’t wonder all your life. If you did that over every road not taken you would wind up in a mental hospital. Just be glad you have a really superior choice in CA.Yes my dd make that choice but the money wasn’t a factor in her situation. (I always wonder ‘what if’ Berkeley a little, but I am a little mental.)
@adalayde: Most important, sincere CONGRATULATIONS on acceptances to two stellar universities.
College is one of the most formative and maturing phases of life. For 95+ percent of us – including many with great professional careers and with “elite” educations – the necessity of making financial trade-offs is adult reality. I appreciate the fact this this choice is VERY important to you and that you’ve earned that Brown admission. However, in not too many years, you ardently want a BMW, but your finances will require to “accept” a Honda (great car, by the way). And that is my overriding point . . . you’re incredibly fortunate because you may have to “settle” for UCB, not for East Swampy State College. I’m not saying you should axiomatically forego your Brown plans – not at all – but I am suggesting that you backup is truly excellent, which really is the appropriate way to consider your dilemma.
You said that Cal is $30000 and Brown is $55,000. That’s $25,000 more per year, not $10,000. It sounds like your parents would pay for part of that big difference? Really nice of them, but how do you feel about that?
The brutal part of this process is getting into a dream school and not being able to go there. It’s just messed up, but it is the first of many big decisions in life that will be determined by finances. But good things still happen!
My daughter made a choice similar to yours. She got into a very good school, but wanted to go look at another one, a few hours away, that was $10,000 a year more. I just said No, there was no point. School A was a perfectly fine school. She was unhappy at first, but 4 years later, she is so glad and knows she ended up at the better place.
We just went through the same process with my son last week. It’s hard to say turn down the school you wanted. It’s sad to watch that dream go “poof”. Plus all your friends are saying they expected you to go somewhere really smart, cool, Ivy, far away, etc. A couple days after you decide and post it with a photo, people will start saying “awesome, congrats”. Then you will go to accepted students events and meet other people who are so excited to be going to Berkeley and you’ll get caught up in the mood. Good luck, either way you will be fine.
Admission but too expensive is functionally equivalent to rejection, but some students and parents in this case are tempted to make unwise financial decisions.
Both stellar schools - you really can’t go wrong either way. But, for your piece of mind, why not talk to the financial aid office and Brown and let them know your dilemma - see if they’ll match Berkeley’s offer?
OP is just quoting COA for both schools, which means he probably just is not getting fiinaid from either school. Brown won’t match the lower price of Berkeley for california instate.
You can’t borrow 10 k each year on your own. You can only borrow the federal student loan maximums. Above those figures, your parents will either have to co-sign private loans, or they will have to take out loans themselves.
Don’t do this to your parents. Please.
And when people ask you “Why didn’t you go to Brown?” just look them in the eye, and say “Brown is terrific, and I really was interested in it, but in the end, it was unaffordable for my family.” Which is the simple truth.
"My parents are pushing me towards Berkeley, bribing me with things like a car and vacations"
Do parents really allow their kids to dictate which College they attend when there is a significant price difference, the parents would have to co-sign or take out loans to finance such a choice, especially when one institution is equal to or lesser than the school be declined? Why would a parent have to bribe a child to make a wise decision? I just don’t get? Who is paying for this education…the parent or the child?
@Psata82 (re post #14): Yes, I believe many really do. Perhaps this results from a contemporary American society where parents appear to be far more concerned with their children “liking” them than with being their children’s teachers, mentors, role models, and constructive critics. Perhaps this is why every kid on the soccer field – skillful or inept, motivated or indifferent, cooperative or recalcitrant – receives the same gold medal. Successful and enduring parenthood is NOT a popularity contest (IMHO).
True. That’s one reason it’s a good idea for the parents to have the money talk with the student early. I’ve seen too many threads in which the students are lost on where to apply because their parents are being coy on what the family can afford.
Do you have enough AP credits to reduce your time at Brown down to 3 years? Can you reduce costs by being a Resident Assistant (RA) after your first year at Brown?