I get where you’re coming from.
When it comes to debt, I’m not as opposed to it as lots of people here, but I always ask the same question – what do you intend to study and what do you mostly likely want to be doing after college? 40k in debt isn’t the end of the world, but run the numbers through a debt calculator. If you are able to take out loans at say 4%, you’re looking at payments of $400+/month for 10 years. Whether that is doable or smart depends on what you intend to be doing after college (while keeping in mind that people change their minds and/or don’t always get the job that is their first choice). For a major like computer science or engineering – I think it’s doable on an entry level salary esp. if you’re willing to make cuts like not having a car if you end up in an east coast city or taking a first job in a low cost of living city in the south or Midwest where you can get experience but put the max dollars into repayment. For those who go to Brown pursuing things like economics, math, and/or physics and are dead set on ending up at an investment bank or consulting firm (whichever they can get into) – again 40k in debt is no big deal.
If OTOH you are thinking liberal arts and don’t know what kind of job you’d want at all – I’d say no way. Entry level jobs attained by pure liberal arts grads (think English or philosophy) pay incredibly low salaries; there are people graduating from respectable schools barely making 40k – the debt service will be more than you can handle. If your interests are med school or law school – I’d say no way; unless your family acquires a great deal of wealth in the next 4 yrs – chances are you would have to take on a lot of debt for med or law school – no reason to add another 40k to that total just because you wanted to go to Brown. Berkeley won’t hold you back in admissions in any way.
Finally – forget about your friends and HS. Easier said than done, I know. But you graduate in 2 months or less, and trust me – the vast majority of classmates who may profess to be so close to you or to be your lifelong BFFs won’t be in your life in another 2-3 years max. It doesn’t matter what they or your HS teachers think – when the debt service payments come month after month for 10 yrs after college – they will bear your name alone, not you plus your favorite math teacher.