<p>Hi, my parents are currently divorced, and recently, there have been many issues about who is paying what. My mom is earning a high salary, while my dad is unemployed and not even trying to find a job and relying on his new spouse for money. He has paid for my SAT and ACT score reports and some college fees, but I'm not sure whether my parents can agree on who should pay for my college tuition, since it's supposed to be half and half. I can't get fee waivers or financial aid since my mom makes so much already, and my mom says I can't get a loan since she had recently given my dad a large sum of money to settle the divorce.</p>
<p>Please help! I'm under so much stress and pressure.</p>
<p>Which parent do you live with? Schools using federal methodology (e.g. California public universities – obviously only affordable for in-state students) would consider the income of the custodial parent.</p>
<p>The FAFSA considers the custodial parent AND SPOUSE. So if you are living more with your mom, you would list your mom on the FAFSA…and a spouse if she has one. If you live with your dad more, you would list your dad and his spouse.</p>
<p>If you apply to colleges that use the Profile, you may find you need to kist ALL if them.</p>
<p>You say your college costs are supposed to be divided equally? You need to understand that colleges do NOT care about what divorce decrees say. They will compute a family contribution and need based aid based on your family finances. The colleges don’t care how the bills get paid. That is up to your family to figure out.</p>
<p>Can you attend a college and commute from home? Is there a community college nearby that you could commute to? There are ways to attend college that don’t cost a fortune.</p>
<p>Why would a divorce create an issue with a loan? The loan is a federal plan you and the parent each take out. A divorce payment is zero consideration. Also the. 50/50 divorce issue means nothing. It’s the efc number only.</p>
<p>Did your parents work out who pays what for your college in their divorce agreement? College costs would be separate from child support. You say they are “supposed to pay half and half.” Is that in the court-approved document? If so, it is legally enforceable by one parent versus the other.</p>
<p>Are you saying that your mother, who makes a high income, is not willing to pay for much of your college costs and you are on your own? And your father, who recently got a sum of money from your mother, is also not willing? (Does his spouse make a good income: that can be relevant on a Profile.) Or are you saying you are suffering from uncertainty now because it is not yet fully worked out, but they are willing?</p>
<p>Who claims you as a dependent on taxes? I am assuming your mom. Do you spend most of your time at her house?</p>
<p>You can do loans but having a lot of debt is not a good idea.</p>
<p>Merit aid is a possibility. Public universities and colleges are a little more affordable, otherwise. You can start at a community or state college and transfer. But honestly, it is not clear to me yet that you cannot afford a private of your choice, though suffering through your parents’ haggling over it can’t be healthy. </p>
<p>They should be working together to give you a clear idea of what you can afford and expect, and spare you the tension and arguing. Maybe you could ask for a family counseling session so that you have a third party to rely on.</p>
<p>If the OP’s GPA and test scores are high enough, chasing the full ride merit scholarships can provide insulation from the divorced parents’ arguments and money issues.</p>
<p>I imagine if the gpa and scores were that high the OP wouldn’t be stressed. It is very hard to have the courts enforce a payment agreement on an unemployed individual. The courts move VERY slowly and in the end the custodial parents income will matter most. Having seen it in
My family in the end the agreements can cost more to enforce than the cost of the tution and you can’t make a spouse of your parent pay if dad is not working.</p>
<p>Yes, after spending money on divorce lawyers, the parents may not have the money at all, regardless of whether they would be willing to contribute.</p>
<p>norcal, I don’t understand why this is your issue rather than your parents issue. Ask them directly - Do you want me to attend college? If so, are either or both of you paying for it? If so, how much money is there for tuition and living expenses? If not, will you help me to figure out how to pay for it myself, since I want to attend? I assume because your dad’s spouse paid for score reports and college fees, she at least is expecting you to apply to and presumably, attend, college in the near future.</p>
<p>Your folks employment status, assets, income, and associated obligations - all interesting for them to discuss and work out between them. Certainly, schools will want to know before providing an financial aid. But the only thing within your control - once they answer these questions - is finding a school you can afford. If the real answer to your question is ‘we don’t know yet’, then you can ask what they’d like you to do. Your options include waiting to apply until the finances have been worked out, and/or go to community college for now, and/or apply to schools that provide full-rides or close to it, and/or take your chances applying somewhere in the hopes that your folks will work it out before the first tuition payment is due. </p>
<p>It’s not fair and it’s certainly stressful to not know what is in store - but that is one of the impacts of divorce on the kids. Hopefully, it’s short-term stress and it will be sorted out promptly.</p>
<p>If the divorce is recent, and it sounds like it might be, it may not be possible for OP’s parents to sit down together and rationally discuss or work out anything, let alone finances. Unless OP has the stats for free ride or large merit at a 4-yr, best bet may be to commute to a local JC for 2 yrs and then transfer into a UC, CSU, or private. Maybe in a couple of years things will have calmed down between parents, maybe dad will have a job, etc.</p>
<p>The mom has a high salary and also the Dad just received a large sum of money from the Mom. The problem here is not parental access to money. The problem isn’t whether college can be paid for, but who pays what share.</p>
<p>I could speculate that the mom resents the large sum she was obligated to give the Dad and wants him to share college costs fifty fifty, and, again, that emotional issues between parents rather than any real financial barriers are driving the problem and the original poster’s worries.</p>
<p>I suggest some kind of counseling/mediation concerning this issue, if the parents can be in the same room.</p>
<p>Was the 50/50 share of college costs written into the agreement? It is not legally required for any parent to pay for college, obviously, and the 50/50 may be the mom’s informal expectation rather than anything that has been written in stone. This puts it in the realm of relationship and emotion unfortunately.</p>
<p>Would your parents agree to a mediator for your sake, to discuss this, so that you can suffer less anxiety about college costs?</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. To answer some questions, I stay with my mom on school days and my dad on weekends. On breaks, I spend half with one parent and the other half with another parent. The divorce payment was for the original house I lived in, which was a couple hundred of thousands of dollars. Unfortunately, my dad just blew that money on his fancy wedding when I was a freshman (I am a senior now), on buying a house, and completely remodeling with his own personal preferences. My parents got divorced right before I became a freshman.</p>
<p>My GPA and Test Scores are low. I have about a 3.5 GPA at a very competitive public school, ranked in the top 10 STEM high schools in the United States and top 100 of all other high schools. I got a 1900 to 2000 on the SAT from taking it two times and a 28 and 34 on the ACT on the first and second times, respectively. The second time was under extended time.</p>
<p>My stepmom is unofficially working for some company, but I haven’t asked her since I’m afraid I’d be yelled at again. Although my dad and my stepmom still buy expensive clothes and electronics, they don’t want to pay for my college fees and are upset by how much it has cost so far. Although my dad doesn’t want to drive me anywhere for school-related activities and community service, he still spends a lot of time either doing nothing, hanging out with his friends, or spending hours driving around the neighborhood for any “free” furniture.</p>
<p>I have applied to some CSUs and UCs and am applying to a few out of state public and private colleges.</p>
<p>Because of all this pressure, it has been difficult for me to finish my college applications and for me to have my essays be reviewed by those other than my parents.</p>
<p>It’s also been hard for me to have any extracurricular activities, since my dad was not willing to pay half of the competition, club membership, or sports fees. I also did not have any prep for any classes or tests since my mom would be the only one paying.</p>
<p>If your Dad isn’t going to pay, then your Mom should pay. You said she makes a very good salary so what’s the problem? You should not be penalized because of resentment by your Mom towards your Dad. If she’s the one making the money, then sit down with her and ask her exactly how much she will pay each year for your college. When you know that, you can better plan your college list based on affordability and your Mom’s finances.</p>
<p>Your GPA and test scores are not low. A 34 on the ACT is quite high.
You may consider them low because you attend such a competitive school and see many of your classmates applying to super selective (and expensive) colleges. Your GPA would be above average for, say, CSU-LB; your scores would be well above average.</p>
<p>Is one of the CSUs close enough that you could commute from home?
Would your mom commit to covering the $6K+ for tuition and fees?
If so, you’d at least have a safety school to depend on. </p>
<p>If your mom has a high enough salary and your Dad has an employed spouse, then you may not qualify for much if any need-based aid. Your stats are high enough to qualify for merit aid at some schools. At Alabama, for instance, a 3.5 GPA + 34 ACT qualifies an OOS student for a full tuition scholarship. However, the application deadline was December 15. Check out schools on the following list (or consult a merit scholarship thread) to see if any offer substantial merit scholarships for your stats and still are considering merit aid applications.
[National</a> Universities That Offer Full Ride Scholarships](<a href=“Loading...”>http://www.thecollegiateblog.org/2012/12/09/national-universities-that-offer-full-ride-scholarship/)</p>
<p>Your mom wants your dad to help with your college expenses, but it looks like he’s too busy with his own stuff to do that. Find a place where you won’t need help other than the occasional plane ticket home from either of them. Truly, you will be much happier about things. Unless you can commute to a CCC or CSU you might not be able to afford any of those on your own. Without some help from your parents, tuition and fees at the UCs will almost certainly be out of reach even if you can commute.</p>
<p>If you are a US citizen or legal permanent resident, you are eligible to file the FAFSA and will automatically qualify for $5,500 in student loans your freshman year. The figure goes up to $6,500 sophomore year, and then to $7,500 for both junior and senior years. You don’t need anyone’s permission to take out those loans. You just need the parent that you live with the most over the course of the 12 months before filing the FAFSA to enter their financial information into the FAFSA application. If your mom refuses, I’d bet that your step-mother would pony up her financials so that you can get a student loan. Formally, you would need to spend more time with her and your dad than with your mom, but that could be as simple as sleeping at their house every night for the next couple of months, and then filing the FAFSA once you hit “nights with dad” = “nights with mom” + 1. Sit down with a calendar, and count the days. With a summer job and/or part-time school year job you should be able to scrape together at least $3,000 each year. This means that a student loan and a job (or two) could cover almost all of the difference between the Alabama merit aid and the full Cost of Attendance there.</p>
<p>If you are a senior NOW, you have a very short window to complete applications to schools with those larger merit awards. Alabama has extended their deadline to January 6.</p>
<p>It sounds like your mom is your custodial parent as it sounds like you spend greater than 50% of your time at HER house. If that is the case, she would be your custodial parent on the FAFSA and Profile. For FAFSA only schools, you would NOT list your dad. Any spousal or child support would be included on your mom’s part of the FAFSA. For Profile schools, your mom would complete the Profile, and your dad AND wife would provide their info on the non-custodial parent Profile. </p>
<p>Any agreement in their divorce decree would need to be pursued by your PARENT. Colleges will not get involved in this.</p>
<p>I hope you have chosen some colleges that are affordable, and perhaps where you could commute to avoid the high CA costs of room/board. I hope that the OOS publics you applied to are either very low cost ones, or ones where you stand the chance for some merit awards. I hope the private schools are ones where you will get merit aid.</p>
<p>If your mom’s income is below $80,000 a year, might you be eligible for a Calgrant?</p>