How do I teach my reluctant writer to enjoy writing….or at least write like he does?

Parent Cafe
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<p>I certainly can relate to your situation. With our older daughter, she started out as an excellent writer, but something happened in high school, and her essays sounded stilted. My working theory is that there is so much emphasis put on passing the high stakes assessments, that teachers no longer had the flexibility to encourage students to write for enjoyment.</p>

<p>Now that she is a junior at a university, her writing is impressive. She thinks it’s just because she has to write so many papers. We are hoping the same “miracle” will occur with our younger daughter, who is experiencing the same lack of drive and proficiency that her sister did at this age.</p>

<p>I also agree that it’s not something that you can force. Sit back, relax, and it will work out.</p>

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<p>Thank you all for the thoughtful responses and suggestions. I’m glad that so many of you can relate. I like the idea of “gently encouraging” him to take a creative nonfiction course (mixing together suggestions from JoBenny and YoHoHo). I will check out the local cc to see what is offered. I think he would be more amenable to taking a course like that over the summer when there isn’t so much on his plate academically, with ECs, etc. And yes, YoHoHo, it might give him a good start on essays for applications. </p>

<p>The journal suggestion is great. Would take major bribes in this house, but I’m not above a bribe! </p>

<p>As far as the type of schools he is interested in, it’s a a tough call. He knows he wants to major in a STEM area, but has so many interests that he’s having a hard time narrowing it down beyond math, physics, CS, and / or engineering. After talking to a math prof and and engineering prof at one school, he came away thinking that a double major in math and engineering with a minor in Asian studies / Mandarin was the way to go. When he started looking at schools, he was sure that he wanted to go to a very STEM focused place like MIT or Cal Tech. As he looks at more schools however, he is most drawn to schools like WashU or even Northeastern that offer decent STEM majors plus the ability to easily study other subjects. He absolutely loved U Chicago despite their lack of engineering school / majors - talk about a school where writing is a must!</p>

<p>ETA - thanks, too, for the insight on his SAT writing score and other parts of his application offsetting this. He got a 4 on the AP English Language exam in 10th grade, so hopefully that will help!</p>

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<p>Looks like he will do just fine writing about technical subjects for technical readers in the same general area.</p>

<p>In other words, it does not look like he is a bad writer, but he may need to learn how to adjust his writing style for his target audience. The writing style expected in technical writing for the technical reader differs from that in technical writing for the non-technical reader, or writing about non-technical subjects.</p>

<p>Note that MIT requires all students to take four communication-intensive subjects (= courses in MIT-jargon). Two must be in humanities, arts, or social studies, while the other two must be in the student’s major. Presumably, the idea is to get students to be able to communicate in varied topics.</p>

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<p>^^Thank you for pointing that out about MIT. I do realize that and was going to add “I do realize that MIT requires…” but since I’m not nearly as succinct a writer as GSSon, decided that I had already gone on long enough!</p>

<p>You are probably right that he will do fine with technical subjects. It is the adjusting to the target audience part that he has trouble with. Actually, I think it might be more that he doesn’t really buy into to whole “adjust the way you do things to please the teacher” mentality. He claims it interferes with his academic integrity, but I suspect it might have a little to do with the amount of work involved to accomplish this when it comes to non technical writing assignments. He has no problem writing lab reports in different formats for different teachers!</p>

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<p>Writing college essays can be hard. I suggest reading a couple of books on the subject. In particular he might try [Concise</a> Advice: Jump-Starting Your College Admissions Essays: Robert Cronk: Amazon.com: Kindle Store](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Concise-Advice-Jump-Starting-Admissions-ebook/dp/B0044XUYGO]Concise”>http://www.amazon.com/Concise-Advice-Jump-Starting-Admissions-ebook/dp/B0044XUYGO) which was written by a CCer. If you search for Digmedia, much of the advice is on CC. Also Harold Bauld’s book is a classic: [On</a> Writing the College Application Essay, 25th Anniversary Edition: The Key to Acceptance at the College of Your Choice: Harry Bauld: 9780062123992: Amazon.com: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Writing-College-Application-Essay-Anniversary/dp/0062123998/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1362535173&sr=1-1&keywords=harry+bauld]On”>http://www.amazon.com/Writing-College-Application-Essay-Anniversary/dp/0062123998/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1362535173&sr=1-1&keywords=harry+bauld) </p>

<p>For me the key was something my sister-in-law the English major said. She said there’s the prompt, you have to answer that, but much more important is the agenda, that’s what you want the college to know about you. What do you want to emphasize that makes you more than a list of ECs, your grades and your scores? You want someone at admissions to think that you’d be an asset to the class, maybe because you are brilliant, maybe because you are funny, maybe because you are kind, maybe because you are quirky. You want the admissions officer to think, “This person would make a great roommate” or “This person could really add to class discussions.” It’s not boasting, it’s showing who you are, usually by giving them a little slice of your life.</p>

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<p>GSM, I know it’s not the focus of the thread, but I’d really recommend your son think about just doing a minor in physics along with his major in engineering. I found the added flexibility let me take only the courses in physics that interested me, and let me take a ton of extra classes within my home department that were interesting. I wound up having the choice between graduating a semester early ($$$), double majoring, or picking up my MS in four years. I decided since I knew I was going to do a PhD anyway, the MS was a waste, and I really wasn’t interested in advanced E&M classes plus a few others I had no interest in, so I saved about $10k in loans instead.</p>

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<p>As a mom who writes poetry and legal briefs, with a son like yours, I can relate! However, my son was worse off: He had the super math and science, but only a 590 on the writing SAT. And MAJOR emotional issues about writing.</p>

<p>His college essay was torture. Our college counselor, a specialist in working with kids with special issues, pulled it out of him. It wound up being about… his favorite math equation (and why). And how other kids he knew had favorite TV programs, sports teams… and how he was looking forward to getting to college and finally meeting kids like him. How even though his dad failed calculus, he still loved his dad. At least once we suggested he use a different word so as not to be repetitive, he would not as it was the “right” word.</p>

<p>Several colleges wrote in their acceptances (with scholarships) that they specifically loved his essay. It wound up being self effacing, charming, insightful, funny, smart… and really HIM. </p>

<p>He then partly chose his college because it had the least amount of writing required. He just finished his required freshman writing seminar. On a visit home he complained his final paper was “impossible.” Long story short, I gave some advice (making him more upset of course) and then told him, “well, you’re smart enough and competent enough to slap something together to get a C or B; you can not hand it in on time and get some help from the writing center; you can add more ******** to your basic competency like everyone else does (he views what WE view as good writing as ********) or you can fail the course and retake it later. Your choice completely, although the last one might screw up your scholarship.” He wound up getting an A in the course and said he took the BS option.</p>

<p>I tell this story because I think your son already has everything he needs to succeed – at the very, very highest level. He may not LOVE to write (now) but he is clearly smart, competent and able… and when he wants to write about something he loves, he’ll have the tools he needs.</p>

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<p>silversas, I remember writing my essay. It was about the first computer I had built, the frustrating of things not working and the elation of troubleshooting for hours to finally hear that “beep” that meant everything was working correctly. My English teacher reviewed it, told me it was stupid, and that a million other kids had built their own computer. I’m glad I didn’t listen to him, since I got in everywhere I applied (minus one where I’m now a grad student and couldn’t be happier I didn’t attend as an undergrad).</p>

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<p>I believe a key to fostering good writing is to encourage reading for pleasure. It need not be the classics. Subscribe to Sports Illustrated, buy him the first Game of Thrones book. It’s amazing how much a person can learn about the art of writing just by reading a lot of different material.</p>

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<p>Maybe. My S has read entire sci fi series of many authors, but still does not enjoy writing. He manged to eek out 3’s on his AP Lang and Lit tests, which got him out of college writing. He was just home for spring break and devoured a 1000 page book in 2 days, but will never be much of a writer. His college list was not that ambitious, so his essay was fine for them. If someday he wants to improve his writing, he will be the one to do something about it.</p>

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<p>My older son loves to read. He knows what good writing sounds like (part of the problem). He’s a capable writer, but he really really hates the act of writing. Add the personal element and he goes into panic mode. He did finally find a way into his admissions essay. I think he would have liked writing the math equation one - I remember talking about the U of Chicago essays once with him, and he liked the idea of writing about his favorite math equation. Too bad he didn’t want to go to Chicago!</p>

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<p>One thing that can help with college app essays is good old letter-writing practice. If the kid can connect the ideas he wants to share to the receiver, he often relaxes, works to get his point across. I find the high school “thesis statement” practice and re-practice leads to pretty narrow written comms skills. Valid, but limited.</p>

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<p>My S is a voracious reader and has been since he was in elementary school. He has a huge bookcase overflowing with books and stack of books all over his room. He reads everything from fantasy to sci fi to NY Times articles to The Onion. His latest favorites are the Richard Feynman autobiographies. He doesn’t just read books, he devours them and even enjoys many of the books he’s reading / has read for his English classes over the years (just don’t ask him to write about them!). He sounds a lot like Mathmom’s S - he can recognize good writing but just does not like the physical act of writing. I think Mathmom also touched on another point that is true for GSSon as well; the personal element makes him uncomfortable. He is not a guy that openly shows or talks about his feelings or emotions. Theoretically, writing should be a good means to explore and express thoughts and feelings. Hasn’t worked for him yet, but I live in hope!</p>

<p>Racin’, I really appreciate your input on majors and would love to hear more about why and how you chose your path. GSSon is struggling with that at the moment. He is really torn between pure sciences and engineering. Although lately he is leaning more toward math than physics which some people have suggested makes for an easier double major with engineering. Of course, it could just be that his current physics course is sucking the life out of him. He’s taking AP physics C online (school does not offer it). First semester was mechanics, second semester is E &M. He is not finding the concepts or work challenging, just tedious and time consuming. This particular online format has turned out to be pretty poor, at least for him. Will be looking for other options in the future.</p>

<p>ETA: Silversas, you have given me hope that not only can I survive next fall but S’s writing and the essays will work themselves out.</p>

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<p>I went with engineering instead of pure science because I’ve always enjoyed more the side of applying theory than coming up with it. Even within the sciences I’m an experimentalist at heart, and I have a lot more fun trying to figure out experiments on how to validate a theory than playing with equations to make my data fit.</p>

<p>I would definitely tell him not to let the quality of a class to determine what he likes. One of my least favorite classes in undergrad was Thermo 2/Phase Diagrams because the professors was terrible, the TA was the most arbitrary grader I’ve ever met, and it met at 8:30 AM three days a week. A year after I finished the course I went back and realized that I really loved the material, and it was what I wanted to pursue in grad school. (I actually just finished filling in for a professor that was out of town and gave a lecture on that material!)</p>

<p>I’d also say that doing a double major of “math” with engineering could be difficult (but far from impossible) since he’d probably be taking a lot of abstract math classes. He might be better off with looking into applied math where you tend to use techniques to solve real-world types of problems instead of just doing proofs.</p>

<p>Apologies for me getting a bit rambly here but this is the first time I’ve written about some of this stuff. </p>

<p>When I was young (like, early elementary school), I was placed into a gifted program by my school. Most of the students there were the typical gifted student you think about. Very creative, loves to write, blah blah. We’d have to do things like, “If you could be a dinosaur, which would you be?” I’d just sit there staring at my paper having no idea what to say. I couldn’t do anything that was considered using your imagination. I remember there were days I’d wind up in tears because I just couldn’t understand why I was unable to be creative like everyone else. I was horrible at writing, hating everything I ever put to paper.</p>

<p>A few years ago I bumped into the teacher I had from that gifted class, and she told me I was the first student that made her rethink about how intelligence worked. At the time, she just didn’t understand how someone could be so gifted in one area, but be so frustrated in others. I look back now and think about how I felt I lacked creativity. I used to build giant structures out of Legos and k’nex. I’d figure out different methods of sorting my baseball cards to see which was most efficient. I spent time learning how to do basic programming on computers and writing scripts. I’ve realized since then I just had a very different type of creativity than most people seem to think of when creativity is discussed. I still can’t write for crap, but that hasn’t stopped me from being creative in different ways. I have a handful of patents, love sitting at work and brainstorming the how and why things work the way they do. Talk to a good electrician, plumber, or any other contractor about a tricky job. Each will have their own creative ways of coming up with a solution. It’s not the same kind of creativity you get from a writer, artist, or chef, but it’s creativity none the less. </p>

<p>It’s funny. As much as I’ve always hated writing, I’ve always enjoyed communicating online. Since a young age I’ve been active on various chat boards and chat rooms. I think part of it comes out of the lack of nonverbal cues (as well as things like inflection). I don’t have a problem writing a post like this, but if you were to give me a writing prompt asking something similar I’m pretty sure I’d be sitting there staring for an hour without the pencil ever touch paper.</p>

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<p>On internet forums and chat rooms, you write whenever you want to write about something, not when an English teacher or college application asks you to write about something that you are not interested in writing about.</p>

<p>Perhaps the student in question does not like to write about fictional literature (which is the primary context used in high school English writing instruction), but would be fine writing about other things. As mentioned before, stylistic differences in writing on various subjects and in various contexts may also have to do with it. (An internet forum example: know what “TL;DR” means?)</p>

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<p>That’s what I used to think, ucbalumnus. Then I had to start writing academic papers and whatnot of stuff I really liked, and it’s still an enormous chore that I’m terrible at!</p>