How do parents afford a private college tuition?

Parents Forum
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<p>Totally understand…my son attended the most expensive private college prep school in the state for 11 years. Got an excellent education, we couldn’t have been happier. An acquaintance asked me the other day if I thought it was worth it and when I said yes, she launched into how it was a drug-infested school with snotty, rich kids. Heard that the entire time he was there. It made people feel better about not sending their kids to private school. It was so far from the truth as to be laughable. </p>

<p>I really think every child, every family situation is different. Fit is very important and so are finances. Some people send their kids to large public schools and regret it. Some send their kids to expensive private schools and regret it. However, I suspect most are happy with their decisions …when it’s well thought out.</p>

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<p>We encouraged our D’s to attend school OOS. (Well OK, we had the state police drive them to the state line and dump them out.) We felt strongly about them experiencing a different environment, even though we knew it would be MUCH more expensive than instate. D1 attended a distant private, and D2 an OOS public … both on academic scholarship. Did it still cost more? Sure. Worth it? Undoubtedly, for the education we felt would be most valuable.</p>

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<p>on another thread someone said something to the effect of… we have no basis to compare as we only have where our child is.(wish i could remember the exact words) If we have chosen an lac and our child is happy, of course that is best…we have no basis to know differently. same applies for large, small, private, public, north south east west…wherever they are happy, when both parents and child are happy, then that is the best choice imo. Their is no overall best path, or best school.
Those that have more than one child (and we have put 4 through so far…all different, all different schools) can say that for that child it was the best hopefully. We can all justify what we paid and why we paid, for whatever school we are talking about.</p>

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<p>"Honest answer: Depends on the kid. " - Yes. And then that needs to be balanced agains the amount of financial burden it would put on the family.</p>

<p>I like to say that you go for the best combo of fit and finances. It will vary greatly by student and family situation. It’s a bit like a buying a car … no one right answer for all. Ha, except that you are really signing up to get that car 4 years in a row. </p>

<p>It is important to note that some families find private school with scholarship and/or aid cheaper than the state flagship. It’s always worth running the numbers / scenarios.</p>

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<p>goingnuts - like others we also went merit route. S applied to a wide range of schools, all had exactly what he wanted for his intended major. I researched and made sure there were several schools included he would get merit from. He ended up with a large award at one school and smaller awards at some others. He made the decision on his own to attend the school that gave him the most money. We could have afforded to send him anywhere, but he said he couldn’t justify spending all that money. </p>

<p>I would suspect that your S is going to need to go onto grad school for ID. Perhaps he can start off at a school offering something like mech eng and then go to grad school for ID? There are many schools offering ME as undergrad degrees and I am guessing that he will take a fair amount of ME classes anyway for an ID degree,but that is only a guess.</p>

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<p>Goingnuts, do you know this website? You may find the schools discussion forum at Core77 to be useful: </p>

<p>[Core77.com</a> • View forum - students and schools](<a href=“students and schools - Core77 Discussion Boards”>students and schools - Core77 Discussion Boards)</p>

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<p>My D is a Freshman at an excellent California public University.</p>

<p>My comments are based on having attended, admittedly quite a few years ago, top public universities in N.Y.(Albany) & California (UCSD) as well as NYU along with a semester at University of Copenhagen. And yes all as an undergraduate.</p>

<p>I found having most of your classmates from one state, as you do at state colleges, a different learning and cultural experience from NYU, where the kids were from all over the country. </p>

<p>Was it worth the difference in price? </p>

<p>Maybe. </p>

<p>I’m asked this type question often nowadays by parents I know.</p>

<p>I tell them that the intellectual rigor I found at NYU, and in Copenhagen, was, for me at least, far more enriching. </p>

<p>Frankly, I found the learning experiences at Albany and UCSD, in comparison, well, sort of bland.</p>

<p>I took a very aggressive approach to my specialized education, that’s why I attended so many schools. I was also very active in Student Associations on each campus, often on the visiting speakers committees. I only point this out to let you know I had
the opportunity of wide contact with students and faculty outside my classes and majors.</p>

<p>My own D is at a UC school because she was a recruited athlete and her first choice, a private school, didn’t work out.</p>

<p>Is she happy? Sure.</p>

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<p>Regrets? Are you kidding? I love the colleges my kids attend, but I am constantly asking, “what if he went there instead?..” “We didn’t we apply for scholarships?” “Why was I so worried about picking THE right school, when he would have loved wherever he went?” That’s why I’m here. I listen to all the other parents write about their kid’s experiences and wonder if we made the right choice.</p>

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<p>Going Nuts:</p>

<p>This is a decision many of the parents on CC will face. Whether to send your kid to your state’s flagship university, which you might have already even paid for under some prepaid plan, or electing to send your kid to some big name school for $50,000 a year.</p>

<p>It is a tough decision. My brother’s kid went to Washington University (big money), but got a great Wall Street job out of college, and is now doing fabulously. He likely would not have even gotten an interview if he had gone to the state university.</p>

<p>I do think it is rather strange that a poor kid can go to a top private college for free, on grants, while the people paying the bills in this country have to see their kids go to a state university, because they get little or no aid, because they supposedly are wealthy enough not to require any aid.</p>

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<p>Student here lurking on the parents forum…
I unfortunately was a student who ended up in that exact situation - parents thought they could afford it, did for two years, then the economy impacted my financial industry mom, but we still make too much to qualify for any aid. But my parents can’t afford to send me to where I go currently, and I have to transfer out and pay my way at a State U. Very grateful for the time I had at my private university though, my class sizes and personal experience were invaluable so far. Great networking. However, as someone who ended up on the tail end of things I would only send your child to a private if you think you can realistically keep them there, don’t stretch out your finances too much. Ends up in a reallll sticky situation if an emergency happens or someone loses a job.</p>

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<p>And this, I think, is probably the most important piece of advice on this thread…don’t send your child to a school that is a financial reach for your family. </p>

<p>If you can afford a private school because you have saved the money or your child received enough scholarship/aid money to make if affordable, that’s one thing. If you can only do by taking out massive loans or tapping into your current or future retirement funds (meaning you aren’t saving enough for retirement in lieu of college) then it probably doesn’t make sense. There are many good options out there.</p>

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<p>I agree with MomLive…if you can afford it, that’s great. However, I think it is a very dangerous decision to go into massive debt for an undergraduate degree. I am a teacher, and we have saved as much as we could for our children’s education. However, we can not afford to pay the tuition at private schools. </p>

<p>We have told our children that we have “X” number of dollars a year that we can give to them for school. They can go to an in-state school and we can pay for it all or they can go to an OOS school or private college and take out loans for the rest. Our eldest daughter currently goes to an OOS public university. Our second daughter is a senior and she is looking at both OOS and in-state public universities. She is more frugal, so I can imagine her choosing an in-state school.</p>

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<p>One of our kids attended an in-state public college; the other a private college.</p>

<p>Son was State U material on the basis of his academic record. He went there by his own choice (he liked the place, as many people in our state do), had a good experience, later got a master’s degree from another state’s public university, and now has a job that he likes and that pays a decent salary. </p>

<p>Daughter was several notches above her brother’s level academically. I’m glad that we could afford to let her choose a selective private college instead of the much cheaper state university. She had a good experience there, and that college’s name will be on her resume for the rest of her life. (This, after all, is one of the main – though often unspoken – reasons why people choose prestigious colleges.) She would not have her current job if she had gone to State U: the company she works for (indeed, the entire industry she works in) does not recruit at state schools except for the few that are so highly ranked academically that they might as well be private (UVA, etc.). </p>

<p>I think most of us here can understand why – if it does not involve extraordinarily financial hardship – parents are often willing to pay full freight to send kids like my daughter, or the other poster’s nephew who went to Wash U, to private colleges that are more selective and prestigious than their state universities. But what I do not understand is people who pay to send their kids to private colleges that are no better than their state schools. It does not seem like a wise decision, unless the private college offers a particular program that the state school does not.</p>

<p>Of course, the best decision of all would have been to live in Virginia, North Carolina, or California, where going to the flagship state university (or one of the top two or three UC schools, if you’re in California) does not involve a compromise, even for students with excellent academic records, but it’s a little late to be thinking about that now.</p>

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<p>I see this all the time in our state - where the privates are more or less on par with the publics. I think that people are looking for a certain setting - they want to be in a smaller school for a variety of reasons and are willing to pay for it. There is often the perception that a bigger university equates to a more inferior education (boy, you read that here all the time). </p>

<p>The thing I find ironic in our state is our flagship is perceived by people in certain parts of the state as being inferior and yet…it has a medical school, a law school, is the only tier 1 research institution in the state, a nationally recognized honors college, has the #1 program in the country for a couple of business majors and is highly ranked in several other programs. Of course, USNWR bases their rankings mostly on SAT scores, GPAs, acceptance rates and a few other nebulous data points and ranks the flagship (which is much larger and can therefore dig deeper into the candidate pool) much lower. I always encourage people to look past those rankings and tease out the specific characteristics of each institution in the state and then decide which school is the best fit for their child. Some people do that, others can’t get past that one number.</p>

<p>And I think there is definitely a difference in the ‘vibe’ on a large campus vs. a smaller school. Some people really want the big university campus experience (my son) and some really want a smaller environment. Every kid is different.</p>

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<p>same situation here momlive…re the school my son chose…tier one, research, has med school (highly ranked), cohesive honors colleges, is compared against uswnr rankings but also against our state flagship…</p>

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<p>Yes, although kids who are enrolled in small programs within large universities may find that they have the best of both worlds.</p>

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<p>Momtolive, i am guessing you live in NJ? ;)</p>

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<p>My friends paid almost full (his job at a grocery store led to a merit scholarship) to a college not mentioned on CC. This son did not qualify for state schools. The college he went to was near his home, so parents could continue be there for support. He got a lot of support at this small private, got lots of internships, and a terrific GPA. Way back, when he was tested, the psychologist predicted he was not college material.</p>

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<p>Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and opinions with me. My S has a list of schools that are in state, and OOS that he will be applying to. However the two best fitting appear to be OOS and the top choice is private and in the > $50,000 range. We have saved for college and retirement and while not wealthy, we are comfortable and have lived below our means. Yes, the economy right now is scary and I totally feel for the young adult who had to transfer out of his college to a more affordable school. Very few of us are wealthy enough to be able to have a kid in an expensive school unemployed.</p>

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<p>^^^any merit possibilities?</p>