<p>I have not posted much but have been reading quite a lot of the threads. First time doing this with S (our oldest). As we are looking at colleges it has become quite apparent that private college tuition is astronomical. We would not qualify for aid (and that's OK; there are a lot of needy students out there). We can swing a private tuition with no debt, so what I am asking is if parents have found it really worth it for their son/daughter to go to a private college? Does anyone regret doing it?</p>
<p>we went the merit route… saving for possible med school… full ride based on stats at in state u, did not feel it was worth it to be full pay at a private, or to pay large amounts for an oos public with limited merit aid</p>
<p>We were able to fund private school educations for our kids. Both parents were professionally employed wage earners. We thought it was worth it for OUR kids…but that doesn’t mean it’s worth it for every family or every student. Private school costs are very high. We felt fortunate that we could do this. I’m sure my kids “could” have gotten good college educations for less money, but both did very well in their undergrad private schools, and it was our choice to fund them. YMMV.</p>
<p>Saved hard, borrowed a little. One S attended a private school, one public. Both have gotten excellent educations. They are different kids; neither would have been happy at the other’s school.</p>
<p>We’re not paying full price for Son’s private college. His scholarship and loans will cover the equivalent of 3 semesters. Our share is working out to be about 5 semesters. In the end we’re “only” paying 30% more than our state flagship would have cost. I’d say that’s worth it. </p>
<p>A private school would have been out of the question if we hadn’t saved well since he was born. I don’t regret the savings one iota.</p>
<p>I think A LOT of parents regret doing it, though you won’t find many
a) willing to admit it
b) posting on College Confidential
c) a and b</p>
<p>The question of ‘worth’ is really subjective, and impossible to answer. </p>
<p>I personally feel that just because you “can” swing $200,000+ on one kiddo’s undergraduate education doesn’t mean you have to or even should. (Afterall, tens of thousands of public school graduates do just fine in terms of getting good jobs and/or getting into good grad schools.)</p>
<p>I think the more pertinent question is :what does private school A offer that public school B won’t? Can I get that in some other public? Or another private, for less? </p>
<p>When my D was looking at schools, we told her she had to have a solid, concrete REASON for picking each college. There were plenty she thought were cool or in cool palces – but that didn’t count as a solid, concrete REASON enough to spend twice on her bachelor’s than at our flagship. In the end she did attend a private which offered her a unique program while also offering her a $15K/year for 4 years grant. That brought the tuition close enough to our flagship to be in the running. </p>
<p>You too might consider applying for aid - many privates have money for students not based on their financial need or academic accomplishments. I believe my D was offered money due to the school actively promoting regional diversity. Not something a public school concerns itself with, unless that regional diversity brings in OOS tuition money ;)</p>
<p>I guess it depends on what you can afford. There are people who can wriote a check for 60k each year and not even notice they had done so. They certaibly can afford it.</p>
<p>Our oldest D went to an Ivy and received a lot of need based aid from them. Our income was lower then and we had more poeple at home.</p>
<p>Our “baby” is 13 year later going to a private school which gave her a decent merit scholarship. Not full ride, but enough to make the place cost not much more to parents than the state U would have. Given the size difference between the two and the personality of the kid, we think it is worth the extra cost. If it was way different, that would be another story.</p>
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<p>Ditto - well, not a full ride but a decent amount of scholarship money from our flagship honor’s college. He also got good scholarship offers from several local private LACs that would have made the tuition on par with the public universities in our area. </p>
<p>OTOH, he was accepted but chose not to attend a Top 20 school that would have been $50,000 a year because we told him we would fund it (we could do so without debt) but that would be the end of his education on our dime (hey, we have to retire *someday *) or he could stay in state and we would cover grad school or medical school or law school. He chose to stay in state. Thankfully…medical school is starting to look like something he wants to do and will able to get in, so it worked out well. In our case, we pay $10,000 a year (room, board and tuition), so that’s $40,000 for four years. Medical school tuition in state is going to be another $110,000 plus expenses vs. $200,000 for 4 years of private college tuition. My personal opinion is you need to view it as a long-range plan vs. it’s only 4 years. I’ve known too many kids who have gotten their UG degrees to only end up back in grad school 3-5 years later and have needed financial support from their parents. While you can sometimes do grad school while working full-time, it’s tough.</p>
<p>Thank you for all the responses. I appreciate the feedback from more seasoned parents. My S is most interested in an ID (industrial design). There is only one in state school that appears to offer it- U of H (in Houston). The rest are OSS. He also likes graphic design and that major has more in state options. I am not really counting on him getting much in terms of merit aid and we have already gotten feedback from one school that we would not qualify for any financial aid. As I have said, that’s OK because we know there are alot of needy students out there but wanted to fill out the school form anyways. Thanks again.</p>
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<p>Honest answer: Depends on the kid. </p>
<p>I did not pay full cost as we did qualify for need-based aid, but not enough to make the process painless. I did have to borrow, and my kids had to take loans, and I also paid out enough money to run through my savings. </p>
<p>One kid did exceptionally well at a prestigious LAC that was a real reach for her; the other kid did not do well. </p>
<p>So basically its an investment that pays off if the kid takes full advantage of the opportunity, but it can be money down the drain if the kid slacks off or runs into academic difficulties. </p>
<p>You are the one who knows your kid best. You might just want to approach the college application process in a way that leaves a lot of options open, and let your kid know at the outset of your cost concerns. It is easier to make the cost/benefit analysis when you know all the options and the relative cost of each. Public college tuitions are skyrocketing as well, so it’s not as if you are looking at paying out $60K per year vs. -0-. With all costs factored in, it will probably be more like $60K vs. $30K annually, at least for any residential college. Obviously it also depends a lot on your son’s desired major and the offerings of each particular school.</p>
<p>gonutsmom… there may be merit out there, but sometimes you have to search a bit, and perhaps go down a bit in ranking… may still be a tier one (if you care about rankings) but just a lesser known school…some have merit for act scores of 25 and above and gpas of 3.0…you dont have to be a perfect scorer for merit</p>
<p>In a word, yes, it certainly can be worth it. </p>
<p>For a kid with academic needs, it’s hard to beat the smaller class sizes and individualized attention available at less-selective small privates. </p>
<p>For a kid who wants “small” but lives in a state with only HUGE unis and no state college system, it’s a good choice.</p>
<p>For a kid with high stats for the school to which he or she is applying, it can be less expensive than public.</p>
<p>Paying essentially full freight for DS at a top private. Not regretting it one bit. Not rich enough that we can just write a check. It takes a bit of work on our part including a moonlighting job I have taken on. He’ll be funded for grad school so not worrying about that. Will be the last thing we do for him of significant financial value. </p>
<p>Never ever thought we would not. He’s suffered through podunk high school and our state school is an extension of the same. He’s learning tons, being challenged way more than he would have been at state U (yes, we know this because we are in a small state and we know the top kids from his HS are top kids at the state U) and having all kinds of experiences not available in our region. </p>
<p>No regrets. Would do it again in a heartbeat and grateful that we have the income to have the option.</p>
<p>We worked and saved to make it possible to pay for a private college. Like you, we did (do) not qualify for FA and I am glad that it’s there to help others. We started a savings plan (529) as soon as we could and made many choices along the way - eating out infrequently, travel rarely - to be able to save. One important factor is we have just one son; I know we couldn’t do what we are doing for more than one.<br>
Given who our kiddo is, a small LAC is exactly what he needs and he would have been lost in a state school. We have known that for years so our savings plan went into effect from the beginning. But this it! Once he has graduated, he will have to support himself and will have to pay for or get loans for graduate education if he wants it. He also pays all his own expenses outside of tuition/room/board/books. It continues to be a sacrifice but well worth it from out point of view. I think DS also appreciates what we are doing to make his schooling possible - or at least I hope he does!</p>
<p>Like Katalia mom said, I doubt that people will post regrets on CC. We know two such families who thought that they would be able to afford it and then had to get their kids to transfer out when the economy and their jobs went into a tail spin.</p>
<p>Yes I’m paying full load at a private LAC. After 12 years at a private school. First generation of upper middle class, I’ve worked 30 years straight and climbed the corporate ladder successfully. We arent wealthy but we are comfortable. I am blessed and lucky in a lot of ways, but I could of screwed it up (many do) and I didnt and I worked my butt off too. But I totally understand and agree that life isnt always fair, and I caught a good wave, and I’m riding that wave to the beach. </p>
<p>Next, the kid really is a top scholastic achiever. He loves learning, and applies himself, and he absorbs his studies like a sponge. He did get a full ride scholarship offer in the Honors program at UNC, and a couple of other scholarship offers, but felt the best fit for him based on the options he had was the LAC. </p>
<p>I saved for his college from the get go. My goal was to save for my retirement and his college and fund both. I targeted to save by the time he turned 18 to have 6 years worth of tuition expense for the nations most expensive colleges so he wouldnt be in a positiion of not getting to go wherever he chose. And so I lived way below my means from a paycheck to paycheck perspective consistently (smaller home, less expensive cars etc) than most of my professional peers while I socked $$ away to fund these life goals.</p>
<p>Is it worth it? Yes it is to me, because it is aligned with my values and my goals for my family. I’m not looking at this from an ROI perspective ala “what will he make in future earnings as a result?” (Hes only a college freshman anyway) How he lives his life in the future as an independent adult and what he chooses to do professionally with this education is his choice. It doesnt come with strings or expectations because I paid for it. Beyond he live ethically of course. (Guess that means lawyer is out. 
JOKE.</p>
<p>But please know this, I dont believe any family should tap into retirement or go into debt they cant afford to fund a top private LAC if it means sacrifice in other areas that will hurt you or other family members. There are too many other, valid educational options and alteranatives out there.</p>
<p>We made the decisions that were right for us. We are in a position that is enviable. And we made choices that others wouldn’t make in a lot of ways. But our choices are right for us.</p>
<p>Whatever happens with my sons future, I will go to my grave satsified with how I handled providing him with an educational foundation.</p>
<p>My daughter’s school costs more in a year than I earn. She carefully researched schools and scholarships because there is no state school in our state that offers her major. Fortunately she had an 80% tuition reduction from the school as an automatic merit award, as well as some needbased aid. She also worked as an RA for free room and board last year. Praise God she has a very generous government grant that helps with her graduate classes and living expenses this year and next. She has some loans in her name as well, but will earn three times my annual salary once she graduates, so she should be okay.</p>
<p>Regrets? Hardly…We saved early on for all our kids, and will/are paying for any college they are fortunate to get into…Only becaise Katliamom brought it up, i’ll bet more people regret going to a lousy school then those attending a better school…Aleways amazed at the criticisms of those who attend so-called pricey schools…REEKS of envy…Once again, few posts criticize the secondary and tertiary state schools which do nothing for many of thoe who attend there…But bring up pricey private schools, and the comments of "not worth it, yada,yada,yada, come out in full force…</p>
<p>Reluctantly, full pay. My parents died in the year before the worm applied to grad school, unexpectedly, and big part of estate left in son’s name. He could have gone to any college in-state for free. His grandmother had always promised him, “If you get into HYPMS or the like, we’ll find a way.” Well, he did, and it seemed so important to let him live in a community of his peers, to be inspired by famous profs and good profs, that we went for it.</p>
<p>no regrets at all. He did great when it came time for grad school. His UG gave him upper level tuition merit $$, and a job the following year. The small academic environment was right for him.</p>
<p>Have one at top 20 private and one at expensive out of state public. We only pay for what the highest in state public would be. Both made the choice and it has been a fantastic life experience for each of them to figure out how to make it work. They are having a great time while: learning prudent spending, maximizing value of summer and in school jobs, efficiently minimizing their debt load and learning the system. Our private one is on their 3rd semester abroad as it was far more cost effective and is gaining a incredible education. </p>
<p>If either of them ever had a problem we would jump in, but if your child is motivated to go the private route, work together to make it happen.</p>