How Do You Convince Someone The Undergrad They Will Attend Is NOT Affordable?

Paying for College
1

<p>On May 1st, a close friend of mine sent her deposit to an undergraduate institution that I do not think she can afford to attend. And I am having tremendous trouble telling her what I outright believe in. This is a tricky situation so please bare with me:</p>

<p>My friend's financial situation is not stable at the moment. Her mother is currently laid-off and her father is currently collecting Social Security Disability (SSI) (I do not know how much he receives, but let's assume that it is still a livable amount). My friend currently holds a part-time minimum wage job, but I am unsure what her summer or college employment plans are. </p>

<p>Despite this financial situation and a FAFSA EFC of 0 or close to 0, my friend's financial aid package per year at this undergraduate institution is as follows:
$7,000 loans (I am assuming max Stafford loans and $1,500 Perkins, but am unsure. I just know these loans are "federal.")
$8,000 upfront payment (My friend needs to loan this amount as well)
Rest is grants and merit aid from institution. </p>

<p>According to my friend, her parents did not qualify for the Parent Plus Loan, meaning that she would have to loan the upfront payment with private loans which typically have higher interest rates. She also claims that at college, she expects to have to pay her phone and car bills, meaning that she would already need to use any money from her outside jobs to pay for extra expenses. </p>

<p>As you can see, I really doubt that my friend could actually afford to attend this college and I want to tell her that even though it is rather late, she should try to look for better options, especially when she is considering graduate school. I want to explain to her what she is getting into without panicking her or making her feel angry over me trying to get her to not attend her "dream school."</p>

<p>But a part of me tells me to not feel pity for her, because she already knows that she is going to have to pay a lot of college, but she also fails to try to educate herself on the scope of these loans (including interest rates and payment times). Even though she understands that she is paying a lot, she failed to apply for any outside scholarships and did not retake her SAT for better merit aid even though her SAT was below average nationally. </p>

<p>Sometimes, I do not even know if she is even serious about going to college.</p>

<p>What should I do?</p>

2

<p>You really can’t “do” anything more. </p>

<p>I know that you’re concerned. She will get $4k more in loans if her parents get denied Plus. However, she’s not going to be able to get any private loans because her parents aren’t qualified to co-sign. Hopefully, she’s going to pursue that route very soon (applying for private loans) and she’ll soon see that no one is going to lend her that extra money.</p>

<p>$8,000 upfront payment (My friend needs to loan this amount as well)</p>

<p>BTW…she needs to “borrow” this amount, not “loan” this amount. She’s not loaning money to anyone. She’s borrowing.</p>

3

<p>Honestly, I know you are concerned. Just be a good and supportive friend, and stay out of the college finance discussion. Your friend will need your support as a FRIEND.</p>

4

<p>One thing that you can do is to help your friend sort out her expected expenses in advance. Tuition, fees, books, housing, meals, transportation, etc. Show her how you have used your own college/university’s published Cost of Attendance items to make your own budget. Show her where the COA was more (or less) than you ended up spending. Encourage her to keep track of all of the numbers so that she will know exactly where all of the money is coming from for the fall semester. She should have all of the fixed costs of the fall completely covered before she leaves for college, and she should have enough cash on hand to get through the first month or so until she starts earning money from a job near or on campus. That way she won’t enroll and start classes only to learn that she can’t afford to be there and have to drop out. When that kind of thing happens, often the student ends up owing a boat-load of money but not having a single college credit to show for it.</p>

5

<p>She tried to reach out to me today with help with financial aid. She told me that she applied for a couple of loans “late” and that she might not get them. Plus, the payment options her college have available just aren’t feasible for her for the upfront payment.</p>

<p>I told her that this is getting too much and that she should consider new options including attending community college for two years. She refused.</p>

<p>I don’t know who is more hopeless now. Me or her.</p>

<p>All I want is try to help her.</p>

6

<p>Don’t tell her what to do. Ask her what she thinks her options are, and which of those she’d like to explore. Telling her that she needs to consider new options will just make her mad because she doesn’t want anyone telling her that she is making a mistake - would you?</p>

<p>Instead, sit with her while she looks at the numbers, and help her try everything that she can to make things work. Maybe it can work. However, if you are correct (as I expect you are) that it won’t work, she needs to come to that conclusion herself. She isn’t going to change her goals until she determines for herself that this original plan is not functional.</p>

7

<p>Just encourage her to inquire about loans. She’ll soon learn that “applying late” isnt’ the problem. The problem is that she doesn’t have qualified co-signers.</p>

<p>(it’s not too late to apply for loans. She’s either making that up or someone gave her bad info. This is the time that many seek private school loans.)</p>

8

<p>My one son was seeing a lovely girl who was accepted to a private college with about half the costs taken care of by financial aid. She and her family had to come up with the other $30K, and they were optimistic that it would all work out. The school did not meet their full need, which meant she was all loaned up in her package already, so all she could borrow was an additional $4k In her own name when her parent was denied PLUS. When they tried to get loans, they simply could not. Not for that much. She is going to school locally now, and working part time. I had a suspicion this was going to happen, but didn’t say anything, and it was better than way, I think. This happens all of the time. Those are the lucky ones. Some squeak by with very high interest rate loans for more than they could possible afford.</p>

9

<p>Okay, first of all, $8,000 isn’t that much. Between summer and school year jobs, she could have a large chunk of that covered. I don’t know what “car bills” she has to pay, but maybe she’ll just have to pass on taking a car to college with her.</p>

<p>Also, if her mother was laid off, and her father’s only income is SSI, she can also appeal to the college for a slight bump in aid. If she can get a good summer job, it wouldn’t take much to cover her shortfall.</p>

<p>It sounds like she’s receiving a very generous financial aid package from what I’m guessing is a private college. I can certainly understand why she’s resisting your efforts to talk her out of it.</p>

<p>And I am wondering what your motivation actually is . . . do you really want to help her, or would you just be more comfortable if she stayed closer to home?</p>

10

<p>I am trying to help her. In all honestly, her financial situation is much more tricky because her parents will not and cannot financially support her.</p>

<p>I have suggested all of these including the aid repeal and getting another summer job before I told her to consider new options. But she made excuses and said that it wouldn’t work.</p>

<p>I honestly don’t think that I should interfere anymore since she refuses to set financial aid as a priority.</p>

11

<p>

</p>

<p>In my experience, trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped often backfires. At this point, it might be best to just tell her you’ll be there if she needs you, and then back off a bit. Good luck . . . and I hope she comes to her senses before it’s too late!</p>

12

<p>A lot of people I’ve met in my first couple years of college have been extremely clueless about financial aid… e.g., taking out loans and using the money to buy a motorcycle, or taking out loans but then spending so much on “fun” that you run out of money to pay for the last couple month’s rent before the next installment of finaid comes out. Not to mention people who have so much “fun” that they fail their classes, thereby REALLY wasting their financial aid and putting themselves in terrible situations. It’s not uncommon for 18-21 year olds to do these things. I wish your friend the best of luck, unfortunately this is something too common!!</p>

13

<p>

</p>

<p>Schools which meet need generally expect a student work contribution of $3,000 to $5,000. A student contribution of $8,000 or more is generally assumed to be a combination of Stafford loans and student work, but that is not applicable here due to there already being $7,000 in federal loans.</p>