<p>WashDad - loved your post. I could just see the look by your description. No verbal response, just that momentary flash of shock.</p>
<p>We also expect DD to come up with spending money. It does make them frugal. </p>
<p>I also gave her a sum of money to spend on clothing at the end of the summer and over the winter break - they were spontaneous gestures and I know she appreciated it.</p>
<p>We too can see her bank account online. I really don't check, but it is nice to know that we could transfer money into her account if necessary. Actually, while I sometime wish she would express her appreciation more often, she never asks for money or anything, really. In fact when I offered to send her money for new boots, she declined and said she had her own money. She is actually very reluctant to take our help. </p>
<p>I agree that it isn't a bad thing to be broke once in awhile. I think our kids have rarely had to wait for things and consequently they don't know the pleasure of anticipation or the discipline of delayed gratification.</p>
<p>Would any of your feelings about spending money/allowances change if your son or daughter was on scholarship? In other words, the student had earned the money for tuition, room, board, etc. through hard work academically and obtained scholarships to cover those things? Quite a few posts stated that the parents were paying tuition, board, etc. so just wondering if you didn't have to pay those things would you provide an allowance?</p>
<p>Actually, if my kids got scholarships I would still expect them to get a job for spending money. I wouldn't expect them to work 20 hours a week, and a summer job might be enough in that case to tide them through the year, but I think it's important to work. Period.</p>
<p>For one of my kids, a summer job would proabably be enough $$ if he had a full ride. He is frugal and doesn't eat much. Other than some music downloads, funny t-shirts and some books, he doesn't spend.</p>
<p>For my other son, he will want $$ for entertainment and good food, which he'll usually cook himself. (This son also is learning the value of a buck -- he had no problem buying refurbished ski equipment when he found out he could get skis for $65 and poles for $15!) This son would also take advantage of movies on campus, concerts, skating, etc. for dates. </p>
<p>Otherwise, we'll be doing tuition, fees and R&B, and expect they'll take out Staffords, work during the summer and about 10 hrs./wk. during the school year. </p>
<p>I bounced checks in college -- several times. It was a painful lesson, but happily, did not affect my credit. I would not monitor/editorialize on how my kids spend their own $$ -- but if they run out of money, there's a logical consequence.</p>
<p>My S will be entering college in the fall. No final decisions made yet. We had asked him to put together his own budget taking into account that he would have at least 10 good meals a week through the school. Many kids do not know how quickly money can disappear until its too late. He went through the exercise actually adding different premiums depending on the school he chose. He realized that it is more expensive to go out in D.C or Palo Alto than it is in other areas. He had to take into account travel (visit home or to GPs) and any extra curricular activites that are not included in TR&B. </p>
<p>Then he saw how much money he had saved over the years through his varied jobs, birthday gifts, etc and what he needed to earn to make up any difference. I believe that it is a good idea for a young adult to have a budget and anticipate than it is to learn from being broke. If he needs more money because he spent too much on whatever, then he will have to borrow against future activities or work extra hours to replace this differential. He is not borrowing money from us, he is borrowing from himself. He has agreed to try and keep track of his spending. We have not figure out the best way for him to control his funds without overextending, overages or late fees; perhaps by using a limit credit card. Any suggestions would be appreciated. At this time we are contemplating having the bank move his budgeted amount from a CD into his checking once a month. He can only transfer the CD once a month without "substantial" penalties. </p>
<p>But, that being said, I have been known to add a penny or two to his checking/savings now and then and we do have an emergency fund that we have apart from his college fund (if he doesn't use it, my wife and I will). I have also accepted the fact that his GPs will be sending him money for his birthday and Christmas (and maybe also Labor Day, Halloween, Valentines, St Patrick's, Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day)</p>
<p>No monitoring. Freshman S's frugal and it hasn't been a problem. </p>
<p>He worked in the summers (HS) and tutored during the school year (HS) and always was responsible for his insurance and gas. He sent me a check to invest for graduate school a couple of weeks ago.</p>
<p>Our S gets two deposits each month. From Sept to May S gets a portion of his graduation money put into his checking account. This is only good for his first year of college. After May he will have to have a job and that money will be used for spending starting in September. Also during the school year I put a little bit into his checking account monthly to cover his groceries. Again come May this too will stop until the fall. He has learned very quickly to be frugal and rarely asks for anything additional.</p>
<p>LoPro, Our son did have a substantial scholarship his first year (he had to transfer due to Katrina). It <em>did</em> affect our feelings about what we might do for him financially, but not about how much allowance or whether to give an allowance.</p>
<p>For us, those decisions were based on what we thought was reasonable, though modest, and our long-standing value system of having him be financially smart, responsible and, if not thrifty at least not the opposite.</p>
<p>It more affected things like our telling him that he could have pretty free rein in choosing a new computer for college - we might not have offered that without the scholarship. Things like that.</p>
<p>Our son is very frugal. We were comfortable giving him a credit card in HS--he never abuses it. He thinks it's silly to eat off campus when he's already paid for the meal plan, buys used clothing, etc. He is going to New Orleans to volunteer for his spring break and plans to work this summer, but if it's volunteer work, that would be ok. He did earn a big scholarship and will have money left over for grad school. This is another "every family is different" topic and I think there's a wide range of acceptable standards.</p>
<p>No spending money from us, either. D saved enough last summer to last her through the year. She plans to find some kind of job this summer to make enough to tide her over next year. She is learning how to make difficult choices in terms of wants & needs.</p>
<p>Well, I do have the scholarship kid. The full boat. We do provide an allowance (and pay some major bills on top of that). She paid for college with her effort, her sweat. She paid with time she could have used having more fun, taking more time for herself. </p>
<p>She has worked , almost full-time the summer between high school and college waitressing at a bustling smalltown cafe. It was important for her to do it. Last summer was Spain, and shadowing physicians/doing unpaid work in an opthalmologist's office for over 300 hours when she returned.This summer she will do cancer research full-time for ten weeks while simultaneously prepping for her August MCAT. Whatever time that leaves I claim for myself.</p>
<p>During the school terms she does not work but instead plays on two Ultimate teams, is in charge of committees for her sorority, serves in an administrative role with her sorority, plays intramural basketball on two teams, plays several other intramural sports, volunteers at a school in an area with the highest infant mortality rate in the U.S. (or at least it was at some time in the near past), does cancer research almost every day, is a Peer Advisor for a gaggle of first-years , and volunteers at the Med (a regional hospital) when she can.</p>
<p>I do not expect her to earn any of her spending money but she does baby-sit for a few professors and is a paid note-taker for disabled kids in Organic Chemistry and (some other class). She takes her notes in longhand then types them up every day. I suggested she not charge for the note-taking. She had already told them she'd do it for free. ;) </p>
<p>Oh, yeah. And she goes to several functions a term with high muckity-mucks as part of her Fellowship responsibilities. </p>
<p>As is the case with most issues of child-raising, one size doesn't fit all. Every child and every situation is different. Every parent is just trying to do the best job we can do raising our children. At least I hope we all are. As always, JMO.</p>
<p>LoPro, In interest of full disclosure and to help you in your thinking re scholarship effect on allowance/parental contribution.... I am clearing up the menopausal memory lapse ;) and remembering that, actually, the scholarship DID affect our thinking re allowance.</p>
<p>Originally, we intended that his summer earnings would be the source of his spending money term-time. But, due to the scholarhip, we felt we could encourage him to bank that money in a Roth IRA and that we would provide a modest monthly allowance. We continued to provide the allowance his second year (even tho he had transferred and no longer had the scholarship) as he did summer school most of that summer.</p>
<p>After that, we have had him use his summer earning for spending money.</p>
<p>Same as jmmom-- the level of merit scholarships S achieved resulted in such a savings that we have provided an allowance this freshman year. S has achieved stellar grades and has been able to engage in lots of EC's. </p>
<p>I have told him that starting next year he will have to provide the spending money, but I am going to put that same amount of money in his graduate school fund. I want him to have a direct financial stake in the process and continue to have work experience.</p>
<p>BTW-- I think he can easily earn most, if not all of the $$ in the summer.</p>
<p>As curmudgeon, I view the merit scholarships as "money earned" by my S and use the allowance (and redirection thereof) as a life lesson tool. </p>
<p>To me, a scholarship student needs to have the freshman year w/o a school year job to make sure he can handle his highest money making role, i.e., maintaining the scholarship. Even though it was obvious by winter break that he could handle it and a job, I decided not to make "the change" until soph year.</p>
<p>Thanks to all for such great, detailed responses. My son will be on a full-scholarship and I've been trying to balance my thoughts about allowances between "he worked so hard for years to earn this scholarship" and "he needs to have an approriate attitude and habits regarding money". I have seen the work and sweat first hand both in music and school work (I realted to your comments curmudgeon!). I definitely agree with the first year at college being one in which they are learning to handle the load (for my son music and classes) and as 07DAD said the "highest money making role, i.e., maintaining the scholarship". I do agree with the summer job to earn spending money for the next year. Thanks again for all your opinions on this-one size does not fit all and I know we're all doing our best!</p>
<p>Our S is going to go on a full NM ride and yes, we will be supplementing him somehow as I agree that his "job" is to maintain that 3.5 gpa in his engineering curriculum. We will give him a modest amount while he is at school that will give him some fun, but not go overboard. His summer and Christmas earnings will supplement what we give him. It might also come in a different form, such as providing all the funds for the laptop that he needs. On breaks it is back to him being self-supportive for his activities like he is now....</p>
<p>First, I told my S how much I respected his achievements in getting the merit scholarships and second, let him decide the "timing" of getting him the spending money. He knew that my committed amount was "all" from me (I did say that we could re-visit the amount at winter break, but he informed me that it was sufficient).</p>
<p>At his college, there are 4-1/2 days breaks every 3-1/2 weeks. He said that he'd rather have a semesters worth of the allowance up front to be able to budget his activities within the various breaks. I was thrilled that he was thinking ahead about having to make choices and budgeting. It worked out fine.</p>
<p>Each parent has to decide what will work best for their student, but I am glad not to have to parcel out the money monthly.</p>
<p>I agree mizzou-mom!! Modest amount but not overboard on allowance and working on breaks! My son will need to keep a high gpa to maintain his NM scholarship also and that is "job" enough in my opinion, especially for the first year.</p>
<p>07DAD-I like the idea of a lump sum for a semester that has to be budgeted by the student. Natural consequences there if you spend it all before the semester is over. Now to come up with what that amount should be will take some thought.</p>
<p>I don't provide any "extra" money for long breaks (winter holiday or spring break), but I "gifted" S with an air miles purchased ticket as a X-mas present to go to Jackson Hole. </p>
<p>He paid for food, lift tickets and all out of pockets (ever frugal, he crashed on a couch in an apartment of a HS friend who took a gap year and was working at the JH ski lodge as a lift operator).</p>
<p>These students can continue to get the fiscal lessons by not providing $$ at a level that allows them "endless options on Dad's (and/or Mom) nickel."</p>