<p>07DAD-I'll check the college's website for an estimate on the out of pocket money needed-thanks for the suggestion. Sounds like your son is very responsible-I'm sure you taught him well before he went off to college. My S is the oldest child-so this is our first time around!</p>
<p>Sometimes it's hard to read these boards. It seems to me that most people posting to this board have frugal children who all earn enough money to be self sufficient. In my experience - that isn't the case of my kids or many of my friends' kids. I give my kid a monthly allowance that I feel is generous and it's typically gone by the 20th. Then we have a nice chat about budgeting and I listen to the complaints about not having money for several days (without sending more $). Then we experience deja vu the next month. Kid works on vacations - but usually the spending increases afterwards. We're trying - but I guess I'm not as lucky as all the above posters who have had such wonderful success raising their kids. I think my kid (and others I hear about) may have more maturing to do regarding budgeting - but it doesn't always kick in just in time for college.</p>
<p>altmom - I think each kid varies. I have one of each variety frugality wise. When my son was in college we gave him an allowance - we did not want him to work as academics are harder for him. Money burns a hole in his pocket so he got a job anyway, worked too many hours, struggled in school and ended up dropping out. Our daughter is very frugal with her own money (not so much ours - the best gauge of how much she really wanted something was is to offer to pay half - she rarely wanted anything enough to pay half herself). She still has most of the money from her first summer job sitting in a CD. By the time she started school we could not really afford the allowance. She has a good scholarship and some financial aid which includes loans and works for her spending money. The money in her college account is sitting untouched and will go toward med school (assuming that pans out) or to pay her loans off (if it does not). She is very practical. Also I think she sees toward the long term goal more. When she gets her tax return it goes into savings. When my son gets one - flat screen TV.</p>
<p>haha Atlmom - I was thinking the same thing!
I put an allowance each month in my daughter' s account, but she frequently calls me to ask if a purchase/need is a "special circumstance" that I might like to fund. ( such as a haircut - for those with daughter's we know it can eat a big chunk of budget)
I am able to log onto her account info to see where she spends her money so I can "counsel" her. We are hoping to make a gradual transition to her independence, but I really don't want her to fall into the credit card trap so I am still trying to be involved. Next year I may decide to do the semester's worth of funds so she can learn to budget further in advance. OTOH - she has gotten a little better about not asking for extra money so maybe it is working.
Kudos to all of you with kids that are more self-sufficient. It is admirable!</p>
<p>altmom, if you have more than one kid you learn that they can vary wildly. My first son works hard and has held a job (of his old volition) since age 16. He's pretty good managing his money and has good work ethic. Son number two, money runs through his fingers...if he has it he spends it, isn't too enamoured of the responsibility of a work schedule. He's a scary child with regard to money and when he leaves for college in a year goodness knows what will happen. Son 3 hoards money. The only one who has been saving since birth. He used to lift all the cushions on the chairs, pick out the quarters, nickles and dimes and put them in a lockbox in his room -- seriously since he was about age 5. He's frugal -- could wear the same clothes every day of his life, never asks for anything, hides his cash from his brothers...tight is the word to describe 3. Now all three of these kids were born of my husband and I and we didn't treat them any differently -- they are just all three wired differently. So if it's any consolation I don't think it's always parenting style LOL.</p>
<p>Altmom and PA Mom, what do your kids do with the money they earn from their jobs?</p>
<p>altmom - I'm with you. It does seem that everyone says "my child is frugal and earns all of his/her spending money." My S tends to budget for the here-and-now, so when the least little extra comes up, there is no money. This happens whether it comes out of his pocket or mine. He is quite willing to earn money during breaks, but not so much during the school year. And I don't like to insist on that since he is on full scholarship. The biggest problem comes up when he travels (on maybe gets an unpaid internship) and has to rely on us for the spending money he wasn't able to earn. We want to encourage these activities if we can afford them. What a juggling act.</p>
<p>Good question - where is that money LOL
Well, my daughter worked very little in high school because she played 2 sports and played on a travel team all summer. It made it difficult to find a job willing to accept her schedule.
The summer after graduation she earned some cash but not enough to get her through the year because her job kept promising more hours but didn't give them and she had difficulty finding another job. Partly her fault I know. </p>
<p>Last summer I forewarned her that she needed to find a better job - ( she did) and save ( she did). She still has money from that job plus she worked some over winter break, so she is using her money as well. I guess I just want to make her life a little easier by paying for toiletries, gas, etc. I expect her to use her money for nights out, gifts, etc. I'm really still trying to figure it out.
When I was in school I worked a lot and paid for everything. I am not sure when I became such a softie ......</p>
<p>I probably will not try the idea of a semester lump sum as it is too risky for the first year. But will use his semester budget and supply monthly installments. It will be easier for him to survive 4 or 5 days a month without money than a whole month at the end of a semester. My S is definitely not perfect (takes after Mom), but he knows the value of a buck to the extent that he actually brings his girlfriend over to watch movies rather than spending $30 at the theatres. This even though parents and two teenage sisters are around. He can absorb plenty of ribbing and some humiliation just to control his spending.</p>
<p>"what do your kids do with the money they earn from their job?"</p>
<p>I picture a giant hole burnt into the pants pocket.</p>
<p>0ther interesting lines of inquiry ARE:</p>
<p>1--When did you first start talking about financial issues, jobs, budgets, savings, etc. with your child? HS? middle school? grade school? Earlier? Never?</p>
<p>2--Did you work in middle school, HS and college?</p>
<p>3-- Would you ever have even considered asking your parents for more money if you blew your budget in college?</p>
<p>4-- Did you sell soda bottles, eat rice and peanut butter because that was all you had at the end of a college budget period?</p>
<p>5--Do you think that the best gift a parent can give a child is for that child to never have the parent financially dependent on him or her?</p>
<p>Altmom - please don't think I did anything special to make my DD that way. Honestly, I am not bragging. There is a certain rigidity and pride about her that has its good aspects and its bad. Having a self-imposed budget happens to be one of the good aspects. :)</p>
<p>It's lovely if you can answer 07dad's lines of inquiry in a politically-correct way (i.e., in utero, middle school, no, all that and sold my blood too, not sure about #5 - both yes and no sound reasonable). The reality I was pointing out is - despite our best intentions and parental values - not all kids are financial wizards when we expect them to be. Not all kids can succeed in school, succeed in extracurriculars, and hold down a decent-paying job on top of that. Not all parents depend on their kids to supplement their college expenses.</p>
<p>I'm not saying that all the above fit my family either - but the answers about parenting on CC sometimes are skewed and could make parents throw their hands up in frustration - or at least be intimidating to respond to.</p>
<p>The success stories are great - but when your kids are already (or about to be) in college - it's a little late to rewind. I think there must be other points of view out there. I'd like to hear both.</p>
<p>I have watched my D learn to handle money over the years. When she first started earning money, she saved it & then spent it on things like Coach purses. As time went on, she began to consider whether or not luxury purchases are really worth the extra money. She decided some are (she likes True Religion jeans, but she shops at online discounters with coupon codes), while others are not (no more expensive purses). By the time she got to college, she had a decent handle on spending. She is proud of her ability to stretch her money, and she is fortunate that even her well-off friends watch their spending at school. If we did give her an allowance or a lump-sum for spending per semester, I am pretty sure she wouldn't overspend. Our darling S, who is 15, does not seem to have the same sense of frugality. All of his pockets have big holes! Even if he ends up with a full ride somewhere, I would put a limit on the amount of money I would give him. Otherwise, I am afraid he would be released into the big, cold world without a clue about managing money. The bottom line is, no matter what a family chooses to do ... make them earn spending money or give it to them ... it's all good, as long as they somehow learn that money IS finite! :)</p>
<p>Three kids. Three totally different kids.
Kid 1- worked hard in school. Has had a job ever since she was able. Used to be a saver but is now spending more. She is usually frugal but then will spend wildly on some odd item. Like a pair of $300 sunglasses but will only order tap water. Also had a scholarship. She doesn't ask for much. We are happy to help her when we need to. Never have to monitor her account. She is on top of it on her own. Has her own credit card and in 3 yrs has never carried a balance.
Child 2- We would never let him have a credit card(he would use it to internet gamble). Never wanted to get a paying job. He was happy to go without things. We did send a strong message that he needed to be productive in the summer. From age 12- 18 he did always line up some form of volunteer community service each summer and all through senior year. He has severe LD and we are not requiring him to work his first year of college. He has a scholarship he needs to maintain. We send him $25 a week. He is happy with that though most of his friends have large allowances. We have been clear that he must keep the scholarship or he will not be returning. He has been told working this summer is a must. (we don't allow him to drive since he has not worked to pay his insurance) Granted he doesn't want to work but he also would not ask for money. If we forget to send the 25 he doesn't ask.
Child 3- Not old enough to have a paying job but does babysit and does barn work in exchange for lessions. She is already planning ahead the time she can have a "real" job.
Like another poster. Same parents. Same upbringing but very different ideas about money.
I would trust 1 and 3 with my wallet. Not number 2.</p>
<p>mom60 What IS IT about those #2s anyway!</p>
<p>altmom-- </p>
<p>Actually, I was thinking that it would be interesting to see what the parent's real answers were. I speculate that the answers would have little statistical significance to the traits of their children. </p>
<p>I too have close relatives with more than one child and you'd never believe they had the same parents from how different they are on fiscal maturity and decision making.</p>
<p>My parents have covered whatever portion of tuition/room/board/books my college savings didn't (thanks Granddad!). My first three years I didn't work during the school year, but managed to save enough during summers to tide myself over for spending money. Last summer I lived in New York City and paying NYC rent, rather than living at home, so even though I was working full time, I ended the summer with about the same amount that I started. My parents were supportive of my decision to live in the city (I had a much better job than I would have if I had moved back home for the summer) and had offered to provide me with an allowance of some sort during the school year. I ended up finding a great job on campus (doing research/editing in a field in which I'm really interested, and it has provided me with some connections to lead to a job next year) so the allowance wasn't necessary. </p>
<p>I know that I come at this from a different angle, but keep in mind that there can be some huge disadvantages to having your kid work during school. I've seen a lot of students who are so busy trying to keep down a high-hour job during the school year that they really seem to get a lot less out of their classes (and everything else that the college has to offer). My parents basically sat down and decided that, in light of the fact that we're paying roughly $30000 a year for me to be at this school, it made sense for them to go ahead and fork over an extra thousand or two a semester so that I could get the most out of my time here. Of course, varying family financial situations will determine what policy is best, but in our case, a little extra money made sense.</p>
<p>Like many other parents who have posted, I did not give my kids spending money in college. I paid for whatever was required after financial aid for tuition, room & board the first year, and for room only the 2nd year once the kids were allowed to drop the college meal plan. (I do occasionally send care packages of real food when they are cooking for themselves). </p>
<p>My daughter had a very generous allowance in high school because she was commuting to a high school in a different city, so the allowance needed to include amounts needed for gas as well as buying lunch & other incidentals. So I wasn't sure how she would take it when I informed her that the allowance would be cut off in college.... but there was not a peep of protest. Both kids had a reasonable amount of money from graduation gifts to give them a little bit of a head start for the semester. </p>
<p>Unlike my very frugal son, my daughter has always been a somewhat lavish spender & impulse buyer, though she does know how to hunt for a bargain. What I have seen is that she simply works harder -- she will take on extra hours of work to meet specific goals. For example, she is going to Europe over spring break. It costs $$. She is signed on with 2 agencies that offer part-time, incidental employment in addition to her work study, and I know she will figure anticipated costs and then scour the postings at the agency to work whatever hours are needed to cover her vacation. She is scrupulous about paying off her credit card in full on the same day that she receives the bill. (Even I am not so conscientious!) Math is not her thing, but she seems to have integrated the idea of (Total Works Hours) x (Pay Rate) = (Total Spending Money). </p>
<p>The nice thing about it is that there is absolutely no discussion or argument about money between us -- which is particularly nice with a kid living in a city with lots of diversions who tends to be extravagant + generous with her friends. I honestly think that my kids are much better off to have control over their spending as well as to have been forced by circumstance to build good work habits & job skills early on. </p>
<p>I'd note that I would help either kid out in an instant if an emergency came up. They both now have a long history of paying their own way with me, so as well as an established track record of promptly paying back occasional loans or advances... so while they don't have allowances, they do have untapped lines of credit with me. Plus if they ask nicely at the right time, I can be quite nice about birthday gifts, especially if they are considerate enough to keep their Amazon wish lists up to date.</p>
<p>
[quote]
mom60 What IS IT about those #2s anyway!
[/quote]
LOL, but it was the same in my family. I'm the oldest and was always a penny pincher. My parents used to laugh because half my mail was about how little money I was spending. My parents would have been happy to give me an allowance, I wanted to earn money and be independent. My younger brother always spent all his allowance and still spends money whenever he has it. My youngest brother falls somewhere in between.</p>
<p>My oldest simply doesn't spend much money. Younger brother isn't bad, but definitely spends more.</p>