I was just talking a bit to our S19 about college and mentioned Kenyon to him. Read him a little bit about it from the Fiske Guide - parts that I thought would appeal to him. His reply? “I’m not going to Ohio for college. And no one has ever heard of Kenyon. I was thinking maybe Duke.” I guess I’m not surprised. He’s only a sophomore and the only schools he and his friends know are the big name schools.
Anyone have experience with getting their kids to open their minds a little bit? Advice? I know we’ve got some time but I’d rather nip this in the bud sooner rather than later. I think he will end up with some well known schools on his list, but I also think there are some amazing schools that would be good matches that he should eventually consider!
Thinking maybe I should make sure his counselor mentions some of the schools we like for him. That way, it won’t just be my husband and I giving him suggestions!
Wait until next year when he gets a bit more serious and have a little better idea about what he might like to do. He will talk to friends who are seniors and a few of them will likely be attending small LAC’s.
When we were developing a list for our kids we visited brand name schools and schools where they would be likely to get merit scholarships, and we visited small and large schools.
That being said, if he wants to go to Duke, help him use that desire as motivation to get the grades, test scores, and EC’s to be admitted. You can use small school visits as an contrasting alternative to larger brand names.
I definitely understand the Ohio sentiment, our youngest is a fully indoctrinated Wolverine fan and the entire state of Ohio was off limits
When our S was a freshman in HS, he couldn’t understand his older sister’s desire to go out of state for college. He told us he was planning to stay nearby at one of the large state schools.
He ended up attending school even farther away than his sister, at a small school he had never heard of and didn’t know how to pronounce, in a state he had never stepped foot in before he visited the summer between junior and senior years.
So, a lot can change. For him, we started showing him some schools we could afford, asking him to consider what kind of school he might want to attend. He started out wanting to go to a very large school with great athletics (Duke was on his list) and ended up at a school smaller than his HS. He realized he preferred smaller class sizes.
@bhmomma already done all of the financials. We are clear on all of that. Will be full pay. Possibly ok with that depending on the school but definitely considering less expensive options via merit scholarships at each school. I’ve done a full analysis of the potential for merit at most schools on our radar.
Visits are worth more than a thousand guidebooks - once the guidebooks have given one options.
I’ve seen oodles of students head off being certain of something (pro or con), only to return having done a 180 when real life puts real images in their minds.
It’s hard for me to think of Kenyon as being not well known. However, the essence of your question is still pretty clear . . . I might start with something numerical, such as a comparison related to the academic preparation of incoming students across a range of schools. (“The 610 Smartest Colleges in America,” Business Insider, can serve this purpose.) Whichever colleges your son’s friends ultimately attend, probability suggests they will be less selective than a school such as the excellent Kenyon. Your son, though, with just some basic information, may be able to broaden his perspective beyond the schools with which he is currently familiar.
I agree with all of the above- kids can and often do a complete 180 between the time they start thinking about college and May of their Senior year, when its decision time.
DS was SURE he wanted to go to a small college/ U far from home, and was accepted at many .
He ended up going USC here in Calif.
Often staying a bit closer to home ends up feeling like a better decision, especially when the reality of leaving really hits home their Sr year.
Your son does need to understand the statistics for getting into schools like Duke and other top schools. He doesn’t need to attend a small school, though. Smaller schools aren’t for everyone (although I am a personal fan!). There are bigger schools with more name recognition due to sports, size, etc. that are less selective than Duke. Some kids like a big school atmosphere or a rah rah sports atmosphere in addition to strong academics.
What is important is building a list of school with a range of selectivity to include matches and safeties.
I agree with others that visiting a few smaller or lesser known schools would give him a better idea if it is something he likes or not.
I think as parents we can help our kids by not focusing on prestige ourselves but instead focusing on the academic opportunities when building a list. It’s easy for high school kids to be swayed by what their peers know and like or to be swayed by sports teams they know instead of focusing on the right criteria.
I also believe that every parent should have the option of placing one “parent’s choice” school on the final list.
I have a similar question. How do I convince my parents to consider less prestigious schools? I’ve already convinced them that I should apply to a safety, but they won’t consider anything that’s not IVYSM. Or Caltech.
^^ tell them that the chances of your being rejected are 95%, which is the truth.
If they restrict the colleges you apply to those that are statistically the hardest to get into, your chances of NOT going to ANY college are the same= 95%.
Is that what they want.?
My kid liked the idea of a going to a school that wasn’t the obvious choice. I think she was turned off by the “following the herd” mentality that seemed to permeate the college search process among the kids at her high school (and, frankly, here on CC, as well). The fact that her school isn’t that well known in our area and doesn’t have a strong sports culture were positives rather than negatives for her.
@merc81 I wasn’t going to get into my son’s academics, but it’s actually pretty likely that he and his friends will end up at schools as prestigious as a Kenyon or a Duke. History at our high school has shown as much. Duke much more less likely, though, as it is a reach even for the best of the best. Our counselor has already pegged our son as a Carleton kid. Or maybe Northwestern if he likes mid sized schools. This counselor has been at our school for 20 years so he knows his stuff. Our son is clear on the admit percentages for ultra elite schools, but he sees kids he knows getting in. I know there are many, many schools that can work for him. I just want him to have an open mind.
Thanks to all for your advice. Patience makes a whole lot of sense. And waiting until next year makes sense too. The counselors do all kinds of assessment and questionnaires to help kids narrow down the choices. I think that will help as well. I was just honestly surprised at his Ohio comment!
Your DS sounds like my son.
He was pegged as the U of Chicago kid, and in fact was accepted there, as well as at many other top colleges. He went to USC in great part because he won a big scholship from them, and he hasnt looked back- now studying for his PhD at CalTech.
IF your DS has the smarts, and does really well on tests, he has the chance to become a National Merit Scholar,. AND if YOU like the idea of NOT having to pay as much for his tuition, then be SURE he preps for and takes the PSAT test his Junior year. Its required to be eligible for National Merit scholarship consideration.
That ONE test, [ plus a comparable scorer on the SAT] can mean 1/2 to full tuition scholarships at many colleges.
“I have a similar question. How do I convince my parents to consider less prestigious schools? I’ve already convinced them that I should apply to a safety, but they won’t consider anything that’s not IVYSM. Or Caltech.”
Arrange a sit-down between your parents and your college counselor. He or she will set them straight.
@homerdog What does your son think about Carleton? (Love that school. ) Does he have the same attitude about it that he does about Kenyon or does he like it? Kenyon and Carleton have much more in common than Duke and Carleton.
“Our son is clear on the admit percentages for ultra elite schools, but he sees kids he knows getting in. I know there are many, many schools that can work for him. I just want him to have an open mind.”
Even if he’s seeing kids get in, I would imagine, being smart, he knows he needs to create a balanced list with safeties and matches. Given his school’s track record, it’s likely he might not need them, but they still need to be there and he needs to like them enough to attend.
But yeah, he’s young still. I wouldn’t push too hard yet. When kids are juniors they see what their senior friends are going through and get wise to the process.
@doschicos our next door neighbor went to Carleton so he recognizes the name. Knows enough to know that they like ultimate frisbee there! If he can get in, he may like it. I was just trying to come up with a list of LACs that offer merit just to have other options. A handful of kids from our school got some merit from Kenyon and Grinnell last year and some chose those schools over places like Notre Dame and Wash U. We will definitely be visiting Ohio to look at schools. Maybe we will just bribe him with a trip to Six Flags to get him in the car. Lol. No trips this year. Waiting until junior year.