<p>Yeah, she definitely is intolerant. I guess I’m not even sure what “real” conservatism is lol - I just assumed that because most of my family is homophobic and racially insensitive that they are more conservative-leaning. One of my uncles said that we should put a fence around California (to block out homosexuals) and a fence around Mexico (to stop immigration.) They’re always making racially insensitive comments, remarks about other religions and sexual orientations, asking why my family doesn’t go to church anymore, etc. Some of my friends at school are conservative, and one of them who is conservative doesn’t even believe in an afterlife. It’s hard to comprehend because there are so many types of people with different beliefs, and categorizing them doesn’t do the job because ideology can’t really be categorized.</p>
<p>It’s super hard for me to not interfere, especially because as of right now she wants to go into civil engineering. She hasn’t even taken any engineering classes yet, though. I want to be very involved in her college search because I know that no one else will be. I should have mentioned that we are first gen students, so our parents are not knowledgable about schools, majors, or careers. My counselor in high school was not involved in my college search at all - I’m afraid she’ll have no one else to guide her and tell her her options. I did all of the searches on my own, and she will too if I don’t help her.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that her high school counselors aren’t knowledgeable, but they don’t have any knowledge of out-of-state schools or the category of liberal arts in general. My home state doesn’t have any elite colleges and hardly any liberal arts schools that aren’t affiliated with a religion. WASP didn’t exist and HYP wasn’t a thing. My counselor was wary of my school, Beloit (What happens if you don’t like anthropology? You have to make sure that they’re good for other majors and not just this one specific major.) We had a conversation like that. Really? Some people didn’t even know that it was a 4-year institution. No one had any knowledge of my school, and I’m afraid that without my help she won’t be led to any “gems”. Only 40% of the kids in my graduating class went on to 4 year institutions and only 10/200 went out of state. The most popular choice in terms of colleges for our high school is the local community college and the others go to low-tier State schools. I’m not saying that that’s a bad thing, but I’m trying to say that it was kind of odd that I ended up at Beloit.</p>
<p>If you want to help, you need to pay attention to what she wants, not what you think she needs. If you sister wants civil engineering, you need to focus on schools with that major. Look at Marquette as an example.</p>
<p>For schools that may not be instantly objectionable to your sister request info and get viewbooks - with her name on the label she’ll enjoy having mail in her name - from STO, Luther, Gustavus Adolphus. Throw in Hamilton. Add Olin, wpi, rit, rose hulman in case she sticks to engineering - do point out that to get into engineering she’ll need to get to the highest levels of math -calc ab if it is available - and physics at your school. Right now she is thinking about majors and sounds like she is changing her mind a lot so these viewbooks will get her thinking. Since she is likely also reacting to your involvement do not indicate you ordered the viewbooks after all when she takes the PSAT she’ll start getting a bunch this way she’ll associate college with her personal choice rather than with you nagging her ( I know what you’re doing is to help her but I bet that’s how SHE sees it ).</p>
<p>I lookde at colleges thinking of the ‘immediateLy objectionable’ that seems to limit your sister’s choices. keep in mind that these may be conservative but all are open minded. request info on her behalf making sure she’ll get the mail in her name. include your state’s flagship and a few other publics.
so: Hiram
Wittenberg
U Tulsa
Alverno
Ripon
Albion
TrumanState
Alma
dePaul
Lake Forest
Butler
Centre
Nebraska / Illinois / Ohio Wesleyan</p>
<p>Yeah - she has AP Calc and AP Physics at her school. She plans on taking AP stats and pre-calc this year (her junior year.) I’ll tell her what you said.</p>
<p>I did secretly put her name on the info list for a bunch of schools and she knew it was me, so she googled “the most conservative schools in America” and put me on their mailing lists as payback. Now I get DVDs from Christendom.</p>
<p>She has gotten stuff from Vanderbilt in the mail, and just a few days ago she looked them up. I don’t know why she’d get stuff from Vanderbilt because she isn’t the most exceptional student, but she did look them up on her own initiative. :0</p>
<p>rbouwens ~You don’t see your sister as your equal. You see her as someone who needs your guidance. This is a mistake. You will not develop a happy, healthy long-term relationship this way. Your relationship with her is far more important than which college she attends and whether you think it’s a good choice for her. Let it go ~ this sister’s keeper attitude.</p>
<p>Colleges buy lists of students who may fill a need. You’re first gen so that may be it, it may be her being part of certain clubs at school, it may be that you’re within 500 miles of Vanderbilt … In any case she’s going to receive tons of brochures this year so a couple more won’t stand out. and if you picked liberal schools or schools you’ve talked to her about OF COURSE she’d assume the brochures come from you. your goal is to get her information but it’s up to her what she does with it. Is she part of a conserative club? If something comes Wake Forest, in from Washington and Lee, SLU, Furman, Sewanee, etc you would say ‘why would I get you on the mailing list for the most conservative (not. colleges in the country ?’</p>
<p>You had ambitions beyond your small town and its world. your sister doesn’t. it’s not wrong to hope she will have choices beyond the community college but if it comes from you, not her, it won’t work. as the saying goes you can take a horse to the water you can’t make it drink. the problem of course is that at some point the horse gets thirsty and the water’s there, whereas your sister may never feel the need to discover other places and ways of thinking, or she might wake up too late. Get her some viewbooks from places where ‘conservative’ is not equivalent to ‘ignorant’ to get her thinking further than her driving license, the strip mall, and that cool new shade of nail polish. But realize that she’s 15 and it’s normal that she isn’t projecting very well. Step back - keep looking and sending her viewbooks but stop talking about it. Tell her you know she’s smart, you want the best for her, and you will trust her to think about it this fall. You can promise not to bring it up if she promises to talk about what schools she’s investigated on her own during Xmas break. Nothing about her future in exchange for an adult conversation about the schools SHE chose to investigate over the Fall semester that should be a good compromise for both of you. it will allow to step back and investigate on your own. By the way I think that your criteria based on what you said should not be political but rather how random students look and behave since this is what sounds as her major pet peeves.</p>
<p>I’d like to ask you the same question about Beloit as you asked about Wooster. Beloit shot way up in the rankings of his potential schools when he saw the youtube videos about students with special powers and the one about talking squirrels. He figures you have to be an interesting, engaged bunch to come up with those. He’s quite liberal but not a big drinker/party guy. Doesn’t want a big frat or party scene. Someone told us Beloit was kind of big with Greeks and parties. (Having it is fine as long as it’s just not the only thing to do on Fridays.)</p>
<p>Ps
I agree with you! Your sister needs to be exposed to more diversity. Although, sometimes a gradual exposure is more accepted than exposing them to the most liberal people in the world all at once. It’s like she has hippie-phobia. Sending her straight to Smith or Oberlin would be like covering an arachnophobe with a truck load of spiders. She may end up more scared than before. :-)</p>
<p>I’d love to answer you!! I’m not sure how Beloit compares to other similar schools in terms of quirkiness, but for someone who was wary of it, I’d say I handled it then and I embrace it now.</p>
<p>When I first toured Beloit, I had this misconception that there was pot everywhere, people didn’t shower, etc. Believe it or not on the tour I tried to sniff for pot I do not drink or party, but the weekends never got boring because I found friends who didn’t do those things either. I think the drinking scene is smaller than everyone thinks it is and probably less blatant than at other schools. Same with the drug scene. In the first dorm I lived in, I didn’t start smelling pot or alcohol until finals neared. The dorm was right by the THs (town houses) so on weekend nights I did hear partying out my window. It really depends on the dorm - some have party cultures and some don’t at all.</p>
<p>In terms of quirkiness, it’s definitely there. Some women don’t shave, some students wear cloaks around campus (think hobbit cloaks) and other students role-play with fake swords or Nerf guns. Other students play sports, but the most popular sport is Ultimate. The “real” sports groups tend to be a little cliquy, and I’m not the only one to say that. I don’t think there are any cliques between majors. Before enrolling I pictured a much more prevalent trend of hair dye, piercings, dreads, tattoos, etc. There really isn’t much of that at Beloit.</p>
<p>Second semester I moved into the sub-free dorm - that was Heaven. I never smelled alcohol or pot again. If your son is quirky and fun, he may want to check out SPIEL, which is the club affiliated with the dorm I live in. It’s a great bunch of people and that’s where I met most of my friends.</p>
<p>I do not care for the party scene. I don’t dance, I don’t drink, and I’m very introverted, so I tend to just stand around with my hands in my pockets. However, this has not hampered my ability to have fun on the weekends. My friends and I frequented the science center to sing very loudly on the top floor - lots of fun. They also dropped condom balloons from the top floor of the SC. There are always events happening on the weekends - musicians, contra dancing, magicians, speakers, etc. I never found myself bored on the weekends. Plus there’s always homework to do :P</p>
<p>The latest is that she’s more “moderate” on her views of marriage equality, but she’s still strong on her views for pro-gun laws and pro-life stances. I keep telling her that she will likely change her views in college, but she’s in denial.</p>
<p>What’s new is that she wants to start attending church again. I still think that she won’t attend a school with religious study requirements, however.</p>
<p>She also seems pretty serious on engineering, so LACs may be out of the question.</p>
<p>There’s always Bucknell Lehigh Lafayette Union … You can also tell her that she can study sciences without studying engineering . Finally she may not change her mind at all and that is her right . However she will be exposed to different views and that is the most important</p>
<p>It means she’s thinking about college. Request the view books for colleges everywhere - not necessarily colleges you like but colleges she may like. If a school really strikes her she’s not going to say oh but it’s too far. Not to mention the aforementioned schools aren’t THAT far and what may seem far for a 15 near old may not seem far to a senior go high school :)</p>
<p>Don’t pester her. ask her what the strong point of the school is, what she liked best and least. treat both schools the same. do not talk about colleges unless she brings it up herself. Listen to her and respond with respect for her opinion even if you totally disagree with it. Then once you’re back home look for other schools that share the characteristics she likes. :)</p>
<p>Yes, I’m trying not to pester her. We’re visiting the schools tomorrow, and I think I’m going to go, so we’ll see how she likes them.</p>
<p>Yesterday she did ask me about Bradley University. I told her I didn’t know much about it. I told her to check out Rose Hulman. Her computer’s in the basement so I never know what she’s looking up.</p>
<p>I’d encourage her to look at schools she finds such as Bradley (especially because it has an engineering school). She seems to be decent job on her own of finding schools which fit her criteria. Rose-Hulman pretty much only has engineering/science majors so if she is not 100% set on engineering there is a possibility that she may not perceive it to be a good fit.</p>
).</p>
I do not drink or party, but the weekends never got boring because I found friends who didn’t do those things either. I think the drinking scene is smaller than everyone thinks it is and probably less blatant than at other schools. Same with the drug scene. In the first dorm I lived in, I didn’t start smelling pot or alcohol until finals neared. The dorm was right by the THs (town houses) so on weekend nights I did hear partying out my window. It really depends on the dorm - some have party cultures and some don’t at all.</p>
However, this has not hampered my ability to have fun on the weekends. My friends and I frequented the science center to sing very loudly on the top floor - lots of fun. They also dropped condom balloons from the top floor of the SC. There are always events happening on the weekends - musicians, contra dancing, magicians, speakers, etc. I never found myself bored on the weekends. Plus there’s always homework to do :P</p>