<p>Topaz, that description sounds like University High (close to UC Irvine if my information is correct)…</p>
<p>I think the pressure is high for the group in the top 3%, but the rest of the student body are pretty nonchalant. My D isn’t a senior, so I am not completely in tune. Still, it seems that in general people are little more stressed than usual because last year was a tough and surprising admissions year. For one thing,our state as state schools waitlisted for the first time and seemed to be rejecting kids who “should” have been shoe-ins…</p>
<p>@Catria No, that’s not where I go. I live in Silicon Valley, so it’s much closer to Berkeley if anything.</p>
<p>Wow 107 NMF’s a year…
If my memory serves me right, Monte Vista in Cupertino and Mission San Jose in Fremont each produces about 50+ NMF’s a year. I don’t think my kids will do well in those super competitive schools.</p>
<p>My district is really competitive academically. But a lot of the heat involving college acceptances doesn’t come from each other-but our parents and other adults in our communities. I live near DC, and since they are so many government workers/employees in the area with numerous degrees past high school, all of the kids are expected to excel and do well. so the pressure cooker is hot…but not because of other students. </p>
<p>I’d say that part of it might be that he and his friends aren’t applying to the same places, or at least, their top choices aren’t mutual. If he has good grades and other Extra circulars and credentials. I wouldn’t worry all too much. </p>
<p>@nycparent I’d say that part of it might be that he and his friends aren’t applying to the same places, or at least, their top choices aren’t mutual. If he has good grades and other Extra circulars and credentials. I wouldn’t worry all too much. </p>
<p>I think that only the most competitive places and situations generate the pressure cooker atmosphere. That’s not to say that there isn’t pressure and anxiety everywhere around this time of year, but the pressure cooker lid seems to contain it in all but the hottest situations.
At my child’s small town rural school of 250 seniors, hardly 10 will apply to one of the most selective universities, so the “competition” gets spread around. The student whose first choice is Harvard or Stanford might have friends who are set on Yale or Princeton. That reduces direct competition and makes the atmosphere more collegial. I have noticed however, that the students who ARE in direct competition for the same schools don’t seem to run into each other much this time of year;
Q - “How’s Miranda doing on her other college apps?”
A - “Don’t know; haven’t seen her much recently.”
Q - “Don’t you eat lunch with her every day?”
A - "Yeah, I guess so…
There is a certain sense that an admissions office is willing to take ONE student in a given year from this school, but if it ever happened that TWO were taken, they’d have to be exceptionally well qualified. That leads to a sense of competition even though this isn’t a school with 50 or 100 Merit Semi Finalists.</p>
<p>In my school district, the administration goes to great lengths to publicize the accomplishments and activities of students on our website. This is a blessing and a curse.It’s wonderful to see the kids who have earned Boy Scout and Girls Scout badges, but it’s also difficult when the school photographs the kids who are National Merit or AP Scholars, etc. A lot of feelings get hurt. I don’t often check the website, but have heard from OTHER PARENTS about awards and so on that my kids have earned. I don’t love having this info on a public site. This is to say that among a subset of parents here, there is a lot of nosiness. I think that translates into competitiveness among some kids, but not nearly as much as among the parents. As for kids telling other kids not to compete for the same slots at certain schools…I’ve never heard of that happening, thank goodness. That’s insane.</p>
<p>I’m surprised by the responses here, how many kids seem to think the admissions officers are lying when they say they aren’t in direct competition with other kids from their school for a prescribed number of slots. It’s probably true that there are only so many they will accept from the tippy top schools, but in that case, they are accepting a fair number of students already. I doubt there is ever a case where several students from a more typical high school are directly competing for a quota of one or two acceptances from that school. If anything, more likely they are competing against all the applicants from that that high school in recent years, because they are being evaluated on how well they did with their particular opportunities, and if an applicant is less impressive when compared with applicants from the same school from a year or two ago, that is probably going to hurt them. I felt that my daughter was competing with other kids with similar interests, not those from her high school. I don’t think there was any of that sort of thinking going on in her school.</p>
<p>If every year for the past 10 years, Yale (or whichever top school) has never accepted more than one student from your high school and it seems there were additional students each year it could have easily accepted because they were admitted to Yale’s peer schools, I think you can understand why that generates a perception that Yale may want to spread their wealth around for reasons of diversity or whatever and have an informal quota for your school. People do think this way whether it’s justified or not. Not for nothing, but the admit numbers for certain schools seem generally consistent from year to year. For example, Cornell accepts between 10 and 12 kids every year from our high school. If every now and then it were 8 or 15 instead, that perception might disappear. It just hasn’t happened yet. </p>
<p>I’m concerned by the idea expressed that it’s “difficult” to see other kids in the community who have won honors. Isn’t that what we want…what we should celebrate? It’s particularly concerning if we are talking about National Merit Scholars. There can be an unlimited number of them at a particular HS. That’s the last award you want to feel competitive over because you don’t win it at the expense of anyone else.</p>
<p>What about the awards that only one can win, like departmental scholar or “Citizen of the Year”, or even Class Representative or ASB President? Are those setups for bad feelings or an honor bestowed on a deserving student and a life lesson for the other candidates?</p>
<p>I wonder how it was a generation ago, when those currently of parent-age were in high school.</p>
<p>I remember that only about a third of my high school graduating class went to four year schools, mostly to state universities (some flagship, mostly non-flagship). A bunch more went to the local community college. A few went to various other schools, generally not HYPSM-type schools (though occasionally a student would go to one). The “heat” level was not particularly high. Back then, most state universities were not especially selective, admitting students at their stated minimum qualifications, and even the flagship was nowhere near as selective as it is now.</p>
<p>The same high school now sends the great majority of its graduates to four year schools, and almost all of the state universities are more selective (often much more selective) than they were back then. So I would not be surprised if the “heat” level is much higher now.</p>
<p>I’m a senior who was accepted early. Our school is also a 1 on the 1-10 scale. it’s an independent school and we don’t calculate GPA’s or do class rank so that might have something ( a lot?) to do with it. Also we have an amazing college counselor (with an amazing assistant) and I think he really sets the tone starting early junior year for a calm thoughtful admissions process that just focuses on your own applications and never mentions anyone else. He teaches us how to use Naviance and has long family meetings and just makes everyone feel like they will be accepted at a good college for them. I never even considered that there might be a quota for students accepted from a given HS.</p>
<p>The pressure cooker aspect at our school is just trying to keep up with AP courses, sports, music etc. plus college apps (and visits). I got a smaller role in the school play this year and it turned out to be the best disappointment I ever had – I never could have done a major role plus college apps. Students are kind of in solidarity with trying to remind teachers and coaches that we have this huge pile of work that has to get done in these few months. </p>
<p>I seriously don’t think I would have survived if there had been the added burden of competition with my friends/classmates or any more pressure than I was putting on myself. </p>
<p>I can’t wrap my head around people tip-toeing around announcing college decisions or accomplishments/awards just because someone else may have hurt feelings. </p>
<p>Other than a kid saying “Nah Nah, Nah Nah Nah. I got into Princeton and you didn’t. Stupid!”, I don’t see anything wrong with announcing in person, FB or email that a kid achieved a goal that they are excited about. Yes it’s gonna sting but it’s gonna sting whether they find out sooner or later. </p>
<p>But to address the original post, my D’s school was not a pressure cooker like environment, thank God. And she announced her decisions as they came via FB. </p>
<p>@JustOneDad and @glee4life I agree with you. I think @college4three has it wrong. My school district, (large suburban; top 15 in state) also routinely publicizes students’ achievements on the e-newsletter, district website, HS website etc.This publicity is good for our district and good for our property values (even though I hate to say that–it’s true). I have no problem with this at all. I like reading about these accomplishments and I always like it when I see a student that is a friend of my D or whose parents are friends of ours. Frankly, are we NOT supposed to publicize this and keep it quiet just because it makes other students feel bad? Oh please–are we supposed to stroke everybody’s self esteem? </p>
<p>" I don’t see anything wrong with announcing in person, FB or email that a kid achieved a goal that they are excited about. Yes it’s gonna sting but it’s gonna sting whether they find out sooner or later." I told my daughter she should tell her friends about her acceptances, and from my limited observations they were celebratory and supportive even when their decision from the same school was disappointing. In my view what would sting would be hearing the news through the grapevine and not from your good friend. </p>
<p>Our school district also routinely publishes students’ achievements in the e-newsletter, district website and HS website. The district has suffered declining enrollment partially due to demographics but also fierce competition from charter schools. So this publicity is seen by the district as an essential tool to get the word out about how well our students compare to those in the top charters. Also it used to be that only the football and other sports teams got significant publicity, but now the district is much more proactive about letting everyone know about non-sports accomplishments. I think this is a good thing. </p>
<p>But to get back to the original question, I think that there is definitely stress at D’s public HS right now among the honors students at least. D is trying to avoid it. When I ask her where other kids (whom she’s known since kindergarten) are applying, she snaps: “Don’t know. Don’t care.” I know this is her way of trying to avoid stress, but I can also see that she IS stressed, especially since her ED school hasn’t announced a firm decision date and time.</p>
<p>I’m not sure how to answer the question. The kids are definitely feeling some stress. The parents are making proud announcements on FB. My own daughter does not talk about it, does not tell others where she is applying or wants to go, etc., but I don’t think it’s out of fearing competition. It’s more out of fearing having to tell people she didn’t get in after results come back. The early action results are coming in and she isn’t really advertising those either, I think because she doesn’t really want to go to those schools and is waiting to see what else comes in before telling people. I am sure that whatever pressure cooker stuff she feels is partly from me. 
I’m obsessed with it, unfortunately. I probably drove her to the opposite camp. </p>
<p>Let me be more clear: announcing “in person, FB or email” is sharing information with folks who know and care about your kid. I have never put anything on FB about my kids without their permission. It’s their decision what they want to share. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to see the elementary kids who played at the local nursing home or the middle school kid who won the spelling bee. But at least here where I live, the competition revs up in high school. In a perfect world, parents and kids alike would celebrate each other’s achievements–and among the kids, this happens a lot— but among competitive parents, public sharing stokes the flames.</p>