<p>So son is just about finished with his applications and the whole family was feeling relieved until he opened an email today and learned about this Family/Community Recommendation. Needs to be submitted in 2 weeks. How important is this? Son has stats that put him in the running for merit $, he has visited, he has interviewed, he has spoken to the undergrad coordinator for his desired major. I can't imagine a parent rec that does anything but gush on how special a snowflake the little darling is, so really what is the point, except to add one more item to an already full plate. Son just downloaded the form and the first question is "What are the first words that come to your mind to describe this student?" Stubborn. It's a family trait. Do I need to write this rec for Rochester to feel the Sally Fields kind of "you like me, you really like me?"</p>
<p>The family recommendation isn’t a make-or-break kind of thing. It’s simply an opportunity for a family member or other adult to speak about something that might not be covered in the traditional methods for capturing information about a student. </p>
<p>Some kids may not brilliant & accomplished scholars, or sport teams leaders, or juggling a gajillion school-based activities, but may be a quiet kid who is a pillar of support for their family or in their faith community, or may just be a kind heart who rescues & rehabilitated injured animals or babysits the single mom’s kids for free without any formal recognition. Things that may get overlooked in the hullabaloo surrounding the college admission process.</p>
<p>This rec is a chance to speak to those hidden qualities.</p>
<p>And, yes, adcomms do recognize that family members are not objective and they don’t expect them to be. Gush if want; or you can be as detached and objective as you want.</p>
<p>The rec isn’t mandatory and your son’s chances for admission won’t be negatively impacted if you don’t submit it. </p>
<p>(I didn’t write one when my D applied; she was accepted.)</p>
<p>Thx - maybe we’ll put dad in charge of the parent rec!</p>
<p>We let the main guy in charge of my guy’s youth group write his. My guy had done a ton of stuff with him, both within the club and community service, etc.</p>
<p>My D just received that email, too. She asked her high school coach to submit a letter. Now that I read the email, they seem to want it from a parent, rather than a coach. Am I reading that right?</p>
<p>Letter doesn’t need to come from a parent–any adult who knows the applicant well can write the letter. I’m sure the coach would be an acceptable writer, especially if s/he can provide insight about the applicant’s character and interests outside of the classroom.</p>
<p>Thanks WowMom!</p>
<p>Funny about your stubborn comment - my bro-in-law wrote the family letter for my son and mentioned that my kid was stubborn but that as he watched him grow that the stubborn attitude had served him well. I don’t think the added info letter is make or break but it can’t hurt. Schools like U of R have piles of applicaitons from kids with outstanding stats. But all are not offered spots.I see it like debating whether or not to send a thank you note. Takes just a few minutes and has no real downside but possible upside. Good luck.</p>
<p>As someone who teaches at a university (not Rochester) and is asked to write recommendations for students, my thoughts are that it could be helpful in creating a fuller portrait of the student. Thus, merely saying that the student has this or that quality wouldn’t add as much as giving specific instances or anecdotes where the student has demonstrated quality X or Y.</p>
<p>All schools end up with a bunch of applications in the middle. That may mean above or below a score line or it may mean these are yes and these are no and then there’s this group of maybe. The family rec is designed to help them make a decision about a maybe. They’re trying to figure out “who is this kid?” and the idea of a family/friend/whatever rec is to say something that lets them know who this kid is. </p>
<p>Hubby wrote my son’s letter. It was funny and sweet and talked about how he became the person he is today - he focused on his growing up and how his interests evolved and his sweet sense of humor and things that just wouldn’t be in his application. </p>