Twin 1 — 2 schools visited, and she is 100% sure which school she will go to. She has no doubt she will get in as she has everything they want, plus we know a very important person there who said she would get my daughter in if there would be an issue… so that one is easy.
My other daughter has had 4 college visits, with a 5th one scheduled, and really doesn’t know where she wants to go… that is fine, as we have time before a decision needs to be made… but she wants to visit 3 additional schools… and one is a 14 hour drive away… lots of money and time being spent… and since we have 2 years before she starts college, it would not surprise me if she wants to see even more colleges. At least the major has stayed the same.
We visited 8 -10 schools with each kid. Some were day trips and we did 2 overnight trips with each (but all within 4-5 hours). We made the college trips during junior year and early senior year. I’ve heard of some people visiting 20 schools and others visiting just a couple. There is no hard and fast rule that fits every situation.
Personally I enjoyed the process – I felt it was one of the last great road trips I’d take with the kids. I learned a lot about what is important to them, how their mind works etc. by how they approached the search and selection process.
Keep in mind that there is no need to visit every school before applying – for some far away schools it is fine to apply and hold off on visiting until your D is accepted, you know the school is affordable, and is still a contender later on in the process. If the far away school likes to see demonstrated interest your D can do things like get on the mailing list, request a local interview, etc.
So they are sophomores? I’d go ahead and explore more schools, since you have plenty of time and D2 is interested. If visiting the one 14 hours away is cost-prohibitive, maybe wait to see is she is admitted and then visit.
Like @happy1, I have enjoyed these road trips with my kids. Perhaps you can tie visits on the front or back end(s) of vacations or other trips?
Also, don’t be surprised if your D1 changes her mind in the next year and a half or so. Stranger things have happened with teenaged kids.
I think it’s perfectly fine to set parameters on where to visit in the initial stages of looking. I ended up spending a lot of money on the college visits b/c dd’s choices were literally all over the country. Thankfully, my husband has loads of frequent flier miles and hotel points, so that helped. But, she and I spent spring break junior year looking at five schools in Southern California, a weekend in NYC, three days in Boston and a weekend in Charleston, SC (we live in the DC area). Like @happy1 said, I enjoyed the process and the one on one time with my daughter - as the oldest of our four kids and first off to college, it was precious time for me and with the locations, we got to do some touristy, fun stuff along the way. Had we had to pay for airfare and hotels, most likely we would not have even gone to CA but I actually suggested the trip b/c I looked at it as a fun vacation for us, plus there was a slim chance she’d go out there as dh’s entire family is in CA. Her top two choices didn’t work out (didn’t get in to one and the other ended up being too expensive after merit/FA applied) and she ended up choosing one of the CA schools.
I think if you have the time and resources, visit the schools you are able to and like suzy100 said, hold off on the 14hr trip until she gets admitted, if it is still on the table. Prior to visiting, try to get her to narrow down things like size of school, location (rural, suburban, big city), etc. For instance, D17 had absolutely no interest in going to a rural school - she wanted to be in/near a big city so that helped us narrow down and not waste time even though it killed me that she would not look at any of the many good schools we have nearby in VA and PA. And, a lot can happen in the next year that will help your D narrow things down.
We visited a lot of schools. First- I enjoyed them (spouse less so, although he was a good sport for the ones he did solo). Second- kids change a lot through HS so casting a wide net is prudent- the kid who only wanted urban falls in love with Brandeis or Williams and you get to say “but they aren’t urban” (Brandeis is suburban- but at least adjacent to a big city; Williams is really out in the middle of nowhere).
Twin 2 is much more typical based on my observation than your twin 1.
Perhaps figure out a range of colleges which she can get to by herself on buses/trains, develop a budget for travel, and let her decide?
And it’s a LOT cheaper to visit- and decide she hates the place- than to pay a semester’s tuition and have her hate the place!
Maybe you should look at your budget for colleges now, in case some of these potential visits are to college that are not affordable. That would be one way to eliminate a few visits.
After going through this process with my two older children, I have sworn to not visit any colleges with my youngest. Those college visits and tours are the biggest waste of time, money and energy. With my first child, we did the usual touring and she fell in love with two schools, but she was sadly rejected by them. What a disappointment after feeling so connected and interested after our visits to “express interest”. She wound up going to a school who flew her up to interview as an “honors fellow” and graduated last weekend after an excellent 4 years.
I swore I wouldn’t make the same mistake with my son when he applied 2 years ago. He is interested in CS and did most of his investigating online, but when CMU called and suggested a visit would help his application, we flew up to Pittsburgh for a weekend. $1500 later, he was rejected.
I’m only visiting schools after acceptance with my third child if she feels she needs to see the school before final decisions are made.
We visited schools when we had other reasons to be in the area. Both had been to a number of schools with cousins looking at colleges.
For a school 14 hours away, there had better be several schools in the area to look at, or at least a big waterfall or national park or the world’s biggest ball of string to visit along the way. More likely, I’d find a great airfare and a deal on a car/hotel package.
Of course, if you are teaching your twins to drive, it could be a good way to knock out some required hours.
No visits until junior year of high school. Unless you count travel sports tournaments.
Oldest visited 5, applied to 5 (not all the same schools), accepted at 5, attended and graduated from his top choice.
Second visited 6, applied to 11,accepted at 7, attended and graduated from his top choice.
Third visited 8, applied to 8, accepted at 7, attending her top choice.
I might be off by one or two schools for each kid. Once they started college, all the details of applications and visits left my memory. It is a lot like giving birth. You forget the details.
By “top choice” I mean they were the schools they felt were the best fit, not necessarily the highest ranked school that accepted them.
My daughter visited 4 schools, one at a time on long weekends during the school year when her high school was off but the colleges were not so that she didn’t miss any school. 3 of them were within a few hours drive; one was 12 hours away. All of those visits were during junior year. She applied to all, was accepted to all, and she never returned to any of them senior year, even though we offered to take her back to the two frontrunners.
She had friends who visited 25 or more schools, scattered all over. They would do long trips during which they’d visit a number of schools in the same general region. D’s best friend went on 5 of these long trips and saw over 20 schools. Some of her friends went on college trips in the summer and made a family vacation of it. My daughter had no interest in that; she didn’t particularly enjoy college visits and didn’t think the visits helped her differentiate the schools very much (all of the schools she looked at were large state flagships).
Enough is when you say it is. The trips can easily get to be too much.
We did a single, three day road trip to visit a bunch of schools that were 7 - 10 hours away. After that we made the occasional visit to nearby schools, when we could do it in an easy afternoon. DS applied to many colleges that were cross country and he knew that we weren’t going to visit any of those before applying. After acceptances, he selected the three schools he liked best, none of which had we visited before applying, and he went to the admitted students programs for those.
We visited about 10 or 12 schools, with a second visit to 3 of them. Preference changed multiple times, but always back and forth between the same two schools (which would have been my top two choices also).
We visited 8 schools, 2 of which got removed from the list (which to me is the best reason for visiting - to cull the list). My kid also visited the state flagship and a private via a school day trip (without us) - so 10 schools in total visited, applied to 7.
I enjoyed the visits but they were all within a 2-3 hour driving distance, so no big cost or effort.
My kids BOTH changed their minds about their number one choices of colleges between when they applied and when they actually had to choose in May of their senior years of high school.
If your twins are finishing their sophomore year in HS, here’s what I would do:
Twin number 1. Have this kid look for ONE college that either has early action or rolling admissions...apply early...and hope for one early acceptance. Then if she only wants to apply to those other two schools...fine. At least you will know she has an acceptance.
Twin number 2. I think this kid is spot on in what she is doing. She has a variety of colleges on her possible application list. She hasn't made up her mind...nor does she have to do so until May 1 of her senior year of HS.
Is there some reason why you think these twins need to have these decisions made NOW…as ending HS sophomores?
In terms of visits…if visiting is getting too costly…apply…and then visit the top three choices AFTER acceptances are in, and you know financial aid, etc.
TBH…I can’t see any reason why these decisions need to be made now…or,even within the next year or year and a half.
I am so glad you started this thread as I have some of the same questions. We have visited 5 schools so far with S18 and even though they were each in completely different settings with very different campus qualities, he liked them all for different reasons! So the visits have been no help as far as cutting the list.
All of the schools were in driving distance with the furthest being 5 1/2 hours away. The remainder that we want to visit would require flights and likely hotel stays, but 2 have demonstrated interest as being ‘important’ and 2 others have it as being ‘considered’. Son and I are both up for the visits over the summer but not sure if the logists and cost are worth it even though I consider all 4 to be great matches for him.
I’d say, wait until this time next year to make any more trips. By then, Twin #1 may have changed her mind, and Twin #2 may know more of what she wants/doesn’t want in a school.
In our family, we did no college trips until end of junior year. Told kids we wouldn’t visit some of the really distant ones until AFTER they got accepted.
First kid we visited about 7 schools (one big trip). There were others that she applied to but those we would have visited IF she got in and IF the financial aid is right.
If you have visited other schools like it (Big State, Small Liberal Arts, Urban) then say you will visit when she is admitted.
Our approach to college visits was opportunistic as we live in an area in the West that doesn’t offer a lot of direct flights to other areas of the country. Beginning after D’s freshman year, if we were traveling for vacation or to visit family and there were colleges of potential interest, we’d do a drive by and/or get out of the car and walk around a bit or maybe take a tour. In successive summers we covered NYC and part of New England. Only as a rising senior did she do the full info session/campus tour/interview, when we did an intensive college road trip in the Midwest.
You still have plenty of time. However, I do think that the early information gathering is important because when you get to decision time, you really have about 6 weeks at most before May 1. You will have to plan visits around your kids typical school commitments - sports, shows, academic competitions, AP exams, etc. Time and money will be limited, especially as you have twins who might be targeting different schools.
For my daughter, the most important visit was after admission when she got to be on campus when school was in session and when she could attend classes as a guest. That classroom dynamic was a big part of her final decision.
Good luck! I have very good memories of those road trips.
So far we have visited 13 colleges and we have more trips planned. The schools are at a range of selectivity levels.
Our son is learning a lot about what he values in a school. Like VaNcBorder’s child, he liked most of the colleges during the visits, and decided against only one during the actual visit. However, when he returned home and reflected, his order of preference became clear to him. This also helped him adjust and narrow the list of additional schools he had marked for possible visitation.
I consider the trips a very worthwhile investment of time and money (hotels, ferry, and gas). Luckily, he is looking only at schools within a six and a half hour drive of home. If plane trips were involved, it would have been more expensive and difficult.
I also think that it is important to see that one can really picture oneself being happy at some colleges that do not have the country’s most competitive admissions.
These trips are family vacations for us, and my spouse and I are loving the time together with our son. I am always aware that soon he will not be living at home, and these family vacations are precious. It also is delightful to hear him articulate what he values and the type of intellectual and social experiences he envisions for himself. He is becoming an adult.
D and I visited a lot of schools and I enjoyed all of the time I got to spend with her, just the two of us. We started out only visiting schools within a 2 hour radius (it surprised me just how many there are) and worked our way up to a 5 hour drive. I told her we would make one visit via plane and to choose wisely. We ended up flying to one other school after acceptance as well. My D had a couple “a ha” moments in which she would gain clarity of what she wanted in a college and I’d like to think those visits helped her realize where she needs to go. She ended up choosing a school we didn’t even visit prior to her acceptance, but all the visits we’d done locally helped her know that this school checked the right boxes and that she should definitely apply. My S is a rising junior and we’re planning to visit three nearby schools this summer and I’m already looking forward to it.
But it sounds like your visits aren’t helping, and you’re not emjoying them, so my advice would be to stop for a while. This shouldn’t be a stressful experience, and you still have time for visits. You also don’t need to travel. We visited schools my D wasn’t all that interested in, just because they were close and they helped provide clarity to know whether those far away schools were worth the time and money to apply to.
The trips can easily get to be too much.