<p>My daughter got a good job in Manhattan and is making pretty decent money - not as much as an investment banker, but decent. We think she should be able to support herself. It seems like a lot of the other kids she's running into are being helped significantly by their parents and they don't seem to care how much the rent is because they're not paying it anyway and she's being treated like a poor relation (since you're on a budget you can have the bad room, etc.) when she's probably making more than her potential roommates. Guess I'm just venting here. Want someone to say that it's a good thing for people to pay their own way and learn to live within their means.</p>
<p>I had one internship in Chicago last Summer, will be interning at NYC this Summer, and both times, I was and will be completely independent from my parents’ help. My pay is also very decent for an internship (way above average fulltime starting salary). Furthermore, companies usually supply housing allowances anyways.</p>
<p>We stopped paying S’s rent when he was in college. He didn’t even need us to co-sign for his rent on his apartment that he’ll be living in near IAD. He got a lovely place very near his work & he’s very happy. It’s well within his means and he has not asked us for a dime since he graduated, even for his travel or anything else. He went on his own dime to visit a friend in another country & his employer will pay most of his moving expenses.</p>
<p>I think it’s great & VERY appropriate for our grads who have jobs to be able to pay their own way. IF they carry a heavy loan repayment burden, I can see possibly help folks who don’t have much salary, with some cutoff point, but otherwise, why shouldn’t parents save for their retirements and what THEY want?</p>
<p>I can’t imagine our S feeling like a poor relation (unless he starts meeting a lot of folks with A LOT more disposable income). The apartment he signed for is gorgeous, convenient, and a one-bedroom where he plans to live alone. He will be able to save a lot of his generous salary–having more money than he ever has in his life!</p>
<p>As always, S was a careful shopper because he hates waste–especially wasted money. He always figured it was his money and he is always very good about saving. The condo he signed is below market and just amazing!</p>
<p>This is also a good opportunity for your daughter to be more discriminating about her roommates. Anyone who is being subsidized by their parents and looking askance at their housemate because they don’t have as much money but is paying their own way is starting to sound a little entitled.</p>
<p>I was in a group house in college where I didn’t have the kind of monthly income of my housemates. The money spent on food was much higher than what I could afford and I ended up moving out. In my new situation my new roommate and I were both equally money conscious and I was much happier.</p>
<p>It is a LOT easier for folks living together if they have similar attitudes toward money. This reduces the pressure on both the person with more disposible income and the person with less. It can work with others, but it may take more effort by everyone.</p>
<p>Is IAD Dallas? It’s so much cheaper there.</p>
<p>I think she’s going to be spending about half of her take-home pay on the rent. If she gets into trouble of course we’ll be there to help but I think she should at least try.</p>
<p>IAD is Dulles, VA (near DC) and actually we were pleasantly surprised that rents are slightly less for him than LA (near USC) where he had been living. Not sure what his take home pay will be, but his rent is much less than 1/4 of his gross pay, even if you add the excluded utilities.</p>
<p>Actually daughter’s rent will be about 1/3 of her gross pay - maybe not that terrible. But I think taxes in New York are pretty high. On the other hand, she won’t need a car…</p>
<p>Not helping with rent!! I lived in hovel conditions in college, then hovel conditions with boyfriend, then pretty hovel conditions with young husband until we worked our way up to “nice”… my own kids had nice residential colleges, and apartments in college, and decent, but plain, places now that they are on their own and out of college. I’m glad that they are having this chance to live lower down on the scale and to appreciate the effort it takes to earn money, and to experience the real and unsubsidized cost of living. Why would I deprive them of this chance to grow up?</p>
<p>NYC is full of a lot of young people who think they are hotshots and spend like crazy… not surprising. In some circles it is important to show your money.</p>
<p>S does NEED a car & is paying all expenses related to it, including covered parking (which comes with the condo he’s renting), insurance, maintenance & gas, and AAA membership. We gave & shipped him our old car & hope it lasts as long as he needs it & he can sell it when he decides to.</p>
<p>Many here in HI pay a much larger % of their gross salaries for housing, so I consider S to be in a pretty good position. Our rentals & housing costs are REALLY high and salaries are relatively low, since it’s largely service economy.</p>
<p>I don’t feel it’s bad that S can rent a decent place at a reasonable price that is not that high a % of his gross income; don’t feel he needs to live in a hovel to appreciate saving & supporting himself. He’s always been good & careful with $$$.</p>
<p>Himom- that’s the point, though. Your son is supporting himself!!! I would not encourage my kids to live in hovels, especially not the dangerous, rickety, termite and roach-infested places I lived as a young adult - but neither would I fund them staying in expensive places that they could not afford by themselves. My daughter works for an NGO and lives abroad with a very low rate of pay. In spite of this, she manages to pay for her own basic working-class neighborhood apartment. My son has just graduated from college and is making a pretty good salary - and he is choosing to live in a pretty basic no-frills apartment with a roommate so that he can build up some reserves.<br>
It sounds like your son is making a good choice for himself, since he is choosing to live in a place that he likes and can afford.</p>
<p>Yes, IF I were helping S with expenses, I would push a bit harder to encourage him to have room mates to lower the cost of housing. Since he’s doing everything on his own, I honor his choices, which seem quite reasonable to me. I lived alone when I started my 1st job & had my own one-bedroom until I got married 4 years later; no regrets & was happier not to have to think of room mates.</p>
<p>Living above one’s means on someone else’s dime doesn’t sound like a great life plan to me on many levels.</p>
<p>This is a very common practice around the NY area, unfortunately…</p>
<p>The kids I know who are doing it on their own have been EXTREMELY lucky in finding multi-room rentals (think Sty Town) or living in Queens (Astoria etc)…</p>
<p>But for as many of those, there are at least as many who are being subsidized in Manhattan…</p>
<p>If she pays lower rent, then yes, she gets the bad room (also the person in the bad room should get a rent break regardless.) If she pays same rent then she needs to grow a pair, as the saying goes.</p>
<p>If she is paying too much for her apartment, she should keep a look out for a better situation.</p>