<p>My salary is published in the church newsletter, so it is no secret to anyone, much less my kids. Because finances are tight, they grew up knowing that there wasn’t much to spare, so they knew that college financing was pretty much up to them through loans and scholarships.</p>
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<p>Perhaps in your neck of the woods, in which case you live in a very fortunate area. </p>
<p>This is certainly not the case where I went to school or the handful of districts I’ve worked in. Not even an option. </p>
<p>Did not involve at all. There was no reason. If they can figure out how to graduate from UG, they can figure out that $100 + $50 = $150, and if not then the next month after making some mistake, they will. I am a strong believer in self-learning. </p>
<p>“Strong believer in self- learning” - but didn’t you spend two years creating spreadsheets for your D in order to choose undergrad school?</p>
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<p>In our case (middle class figures involved, no super-complex trusts or special investments), we’ve seen that making children more familiar with the numbers give them a better sense of “where the money goes”. With the twins, we started sharing with them info about a basic “budget” when they started high school. They got quite shocked by realizing how much, in proportion to their allowances, it costs to pay for utilities, gas… it took them a little longer to understand the concept of mortgage, but now they understand it.</p>
<p>Our kids were not interested in our financial situation once we told them that all options were on the table. The college costs got paid in part thanks to the generosity of their grandparents (covered about 1/3 of the cost) but mainly because we had saved for their college and could draw on current income as well. Otherwise, we made clear that they were expected to contribute via work in summers or during school year to cover incidentals.</p>
<p>When I went to college, i was not told anything about finances or budgets. So I applied to colleges and got in and I think my dad paid full freight (only $10,000 back in the day).There was some grumbling, but also never there was "you can have $X,000 for tuition.</p>
<p>For my kids, we said we would like it to be under $30,000/yr if possible. I suggested colleges where this would be possible that are good schools and would meet their criteria.</p>
<p>Bay Area, although not directly mentioned in my previous post. I don’t think there’s problem woth disclosing your income and expense to the kids. But fully involving them in “work” associated managing for families finance is over the top. Bringing them along to your CPA appointments, involving them in decisions about the mortgage is in appropriate. As the adult this your job. They should be spending te doing teen stuff and you be handling the grown up stuff. Giving the kids a budget is one thing. Expecting them to understand the family budget is another. To me you approach while well meaning smacks of passive agressive control.</p>
<p>I am also in the camp of not involving my kids with my finance. There is a certain stress in dealing with complicated adult finances. My kids have no control or say on my finance, so why would I get them involved? I decide on how much I want to spend on housing, vacation, education…unless I am open to their input, I do not see the need of sharing all that information. It is too much stress for kids to worry about family finance. I think telling your kids you are willing to spend $X on their education is perfectly appropriate, but it is really none of their business as to why you want to spend $X and not $2X.</p>
<p>We gave our kids $Y/mon for allowance since they were 13. They learned to spend and save within their means. When D1 started working, she got an apartment she could afford, and saved enough money for raining days (6 months of expenses in liquid assets). She is now looking into buying her first apartment, putting money away for 529 (even though she is not married or has kids). D1 learned how to budget and live within her means without knowing (or worry) our finance.</p>
<p>Post #27- what on earth? I have been on CC for a LONG, long time and that is one of the most judgmental posts I’ve ever seen. </p>
<p>I was the kid who was included in my parents’ finances and I LOVED it. I liked being involved in taxes and all that because I love numbers. It is not everyone’s cup of tea, but “passive aggressive control”? Give me a break. My parents did what the OP described and much more- “control” in ANY form is never an adjective you could apply to my parents. </p>
<p>Different families have different ways of working. Not everyone believes in the same type of family model, and that’s OK. In some families, like mine, children are included in important life decisions- and that works for them. In others, children are left in the dark about everything- and that works for them (I guess, I don’t know, wasn’t raised in one of those). </p>
<p>“Most high schools have consumer ec, where they learn costs of things, basic budgeting techniques, etc. This has helped some, and we will work in other details over the next 2-3 years.”</p>
<p>Our high school doesn’t do anything like that unless you take AP Economics. Then they do a project where they pretend that they are a recent college grad making $35,000 a year in Atlanta. They need to find an apartment to rent and make a budget including a cell phone,car payment,utilities and entertainment. So while that’s great … DS took AP economics the last semester of high school which is way too late for college cost planning… Plus it’s only for the kids in AP not all the others.</p>
<p>We gave DS the $ amount we were going to be able to pay and he picked a college cheaper than that. </p>
<p>I didn’t see where the poster being addressed in #27 even said anything about involving the kids in decisions about the mortgage. Explaining how the mortgage works is not at all the same as involving the kid in decisions. </p>
<p>We’ve told our kids how much we paid for our house. They also know how much out mortgage payment is, and I’m pretty sure we’ve explained in general terms that the payment in our case includes taxes and insurance. I don’t thnk knowing that has caused them any worry. </p>
<p>My kids know all sorts of information that they don’t help make a decision about. I personally don’t see an automatic connection between sharing information with them and whether they are involved in decisions about that information. Certainly if they are deciding something (such as college) they should know all the pertinent information. But sometimes I share information just because I think it’s useful for them to know, or because they ask. Doesn’t mean I am expecting them to manage the finances or anything else. </p>
<p>Requiring a 15 year old to sit in tax and CPA meetings conveys a message. Its a definite action that speaks much louder than words. But I suppose that was point. </p>
<p>This is apparently unusual but from the age of about 5 or 6 (whatever age I could comprehend the numbers at) I knew how much my parents made, how much rent was, how much utilities were, how much food costs, all of that. Their way of teaching me about money. From that I could gather what was affordable and what wasn’t. Didn’t even need a discussion.</p>
<p>I don’t know. My 18 year old has said he is nervous about having to file taxes. So maybe we should have had him walk through the process with us. Out taxes are pretty simple and we do them ourselves. But I think now that it might not have been a bad idea to sit him down with us when we did them. </p>
<p>Our state mandates a half year in Economics and/or Entrepreneurial Literacy.</p>
<p>I applaud your decision to put your finances in front of your kids. They are plenty old enough for this info, and I think it’s very important to have kids understand what kind of sums are involved in living the lives they do. My parents were always transparent with me about money, and I have tried to be transparent to our kids.</p>
<p>I have been honest with my D. We will get no financial aid, but don’t have the money for high priced schools. So, we are working together to choose schools where she should get merit money, and she learned how to best present herself on admissions interviews. We just got our first acceptance and are awaiting merit awards…crossing fingers we can attend the schools she’s chosen. I think you have to work together…kids aren’t stupid…they know what schools cost today. </p>
<p>I think you’re reading things that aren’t there, momneeds2no. </p>
<p>I am interested in how my kids are doing in school, but I don’t need to or want to know blow by blow what they are doing, because there is nothing I could do if they are doing badly at school. I feel the same about my finance. It is my responsibility to provide for them. How I do it is my business. I don’t owe them an explanation and I think it is too much information for young people.</p>