how much should we be willing to pay?

<p>You say “how much should we pay” but you mean how much must parents pay? You say how much should they pay, or should they make me go…
They probably won’t make you go anywhere. As an 18’er and theoretically an adult, you have the right to choose. You can go anywhere that will accept you if you pay the bill. That’s part of being an adult. They can choose what gift they want to give you.
The help some are trying to give your here is not just economic, it is also a broader, more adult perspective so you can see at 18 parents no longer are required to give you anything. Most want to, most can, most do, but none have to. You are in a transition in life changing from the stage where you got all you needed and most of what you wanted from parents, to a new stage where you should be very nearly on your own. Try to see that your calculation of what gift they should give based on your wants and their income is inappropriate.
Oh, and by the way, prospective college student, the past tense of pay is “paid”.</p>

<p>It’s difficult to assess whether or not “other parents” can afford “this or that” or are even willing to spend X amount. Lots of wealth drives old cars and live frugally. Lots of people who appear to have wealth have zilch. Your parents have a priviledged annual income. None of us here know how long they’ve brought in that income, where they have their savings, if their retirement is all set, how much debt they have and on and on and on. When you live in the Midwest with our plethora of great colleges and universities it IS difficult to contemplate spending $50,000 per year for a college when you have one within hours that is equal or better cailiber than the $50,000 one. How much to spend etc. is between you and your parents. For my kids we told them we would pay the amount equal to our state flagship and anything else was “on them” either they needed to gain merit money or to take out Stafford loans or some combination.</p>

<p>Thanks for your dumb comments younghoss. How many times do I have to tell you that I know I’m lucky and I know it is not my choice how much they will give to me. They have told me they will pay for all my college if it is like 25k. But if it is more, they still are not sure. I will be perfectly fine if they do not pay more because MN and Madison are very good schools. I am just asking for some advice for both my parents and I about the value of different priced schools. I am exploring options, and to do this you need to consider the different possibilities of how much your parents will pay. But everyone else has had very helpful comments.</p>

<p>Gosh, I’m sorry my comments were so dumb. You see, I’m a self supporting adult of about 50 that didn’t complete college. I don’t have the advantage you have of knowing so much because I’m still in high school.
You want just an economics answer? Like 20k is cheaper than like 25k. Like 25k is cheaper than like 30k, to use your wording.
Of course, looking at it only from that perspective doesn’t answer the full picture, but you have made it clear you don’t want the full picture. It was you that wrote about how much parents should pay, not me. I didn’t make that up. Or am I so dumb I misread your heading and original post? Perhaps if you don’t like the answers to the question you asked, you shouldn’t have asked? Or maybe you should have worded it differently?</p>

<p>If you want to explore different possibilities of how much your parents will pay, I’d recommend you ask your parents. Or, maybe you meant this(with my corrections in capitals)? “I am exploring options, and to do this .I. need to consider the different possibilities of how much .OTHER. parents will pay.”</p>

<p>You are having difficulty getting any further than an answer because your question is vague. What something is worth is totally different to different families. It may not be completely dependent on salary. Your parents have told you they will pay for tuition to essentially a state school ($25K). They may pay more. They don’t know what ‘more’ is for, or what ‘more’ is worth. That is your job. If they have agreed to $25k, start looking at schools that meet your criteria that you may qualify for merit aid to bring tuition to the $25k.<br>
If you are asking is a private school worth the extra cost of a public, and if my family makes $200k/year can’t I reasonably expect them to pay for a private school? The answer is never black and white. You have excellent public engineering schools, great privates, and students all over the nation will pay different prices to attend them. You need to find out how you fall in the price factor (no FA, but at OOS would you get MA which would expand your options?). We have two excellent public engineering schools in state. Our son is VERY lucky. They are both quite competitive, however he is as well. We have one academic/financial safety that is OOS. He was told early on, that he could look OOS or private IF he received funds to bring tuition to instate levels. It took several excellent schools off his list. He didn’t seem too bothered.<br>
Use $25k as a guideline. My guess is your parents are going to want a really good reason to pay more. You should too.</p>

<p>Just a note, if you find my response unhelpful in anyway, simply skip it and move on to the next person who took time our of their day to respond to your question.</p>

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<p>I think this is a little silly. Of course they are both happy with their choices right now. I’d like to talk to the student in five or ten years when he is still paying this back while his peers like your son can use that same amount of money any way they see fit.</p>

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<p>In this economy, I would not be so sure.</p>

<p>***However, his friend, whose family is about in the same financial circumstances and made him the same offer, decided to take out significant loans and go the more elite route. They’re both happy with their choices…</p>

<p>I think this is a little silly. Of course they are both happy with their choices right now. I’d like to talk to the student in five or ten years when he is still paying this back while his peers like your son can use that same amount of money any way they see fit.***</p>

<p>Exactly! Who the heck knows how happy this student will be when his young adult life is burdened with big debt while his peers are not.</p>

<p>You know that your parents will pay $25k per year. If I remember correctly, your stats are high enough to get good merit at some schools. Combined with your parents’ money, you could have more choices. If I remember correctly, your stats would give you good merit at schools like Purdue and others.</p>

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<p>The situation has come up before on CC where parents say that they will pay $50K for Harvard, even if they have to borrow for it, but won’t be willing to go out on a financial limb for a “lower quality” school. You won’t know for sure where your parents break point is until you get your acceptances in hand and decisions have to be made. </p>

<p>So I’d apply to your $25K schools, schools you’d like to attend that may be more expensive but you have a good chance at merit aid, and schools that you’d like to attend that may be more expensive but at which you won’t be financial aid. When spring of your senior year comes, then you and your parents will have choices.</p>

<p>I agree with other posters that your taking out $100K in loans by yourself should be avoided like the plague!</p>

<p>Yes, I agree my post is broad and depends on what my parents want to do. But my parents are flexible and do not have a certain amount they have told me they will pay. This is what I thought and wanted advice on - the value of MN/Madison engineering programs at 20-25k is most likely higher than the value of a 50k school’s engineering program even if my parents might be willing/able to pay that much money. The posts that were helpful to me gave personal experiences about the pros and cons of sending their child to a more/less expensive school. I overall want to know the value of the colleges for the different costs. I am not selfish and ungrateful and am perfectly happy with all the colleges on my list. So my conclusion is that the extra money is not worth it. Do you guys agree that this is probably true?</p>

<p>For engineering, unless you are going to MIT perhaps, Madison will be hard to beat for the price.</p>

<p>If you can go to UW, UMinn, Purdue, or similar with your parents money (+ merit for Purdue), then I don’t think it’s worth it to take out loans for a pricier school.</p>

<p>My friend’s son graduated in Engineering from Columbia in May 2009. He still has NOT found a job. He had to borrow money to help with the “family contribution”- which was more than his family could afford to pay.</p>

<p>You should also apply for outside merit and think about getting a job this summer or even during the school year if you can keep up with your schoolwork. Your parents may be swayed by the money you are willing to bring to the table. If you can work or get outside scholarships totalling $5K and a school gives you merit worth $10K, your parents may decide to offer you more than $25K/year. Of course, there’s one other thing to consider: how likely are you to get merit at your instate school? In other words, there’s a chance that the decision in the Spring will come down to paying <em>less</em> than full cost at your instate public school or $35K+ at an out-of-state school, even with merit aid. That is often the decision for seniors in my kid’s school and, let me tell you, they often choose to stay instate.</p>

<p>State schools in-state cost $25k a year now??! That’s sort of depressing- my school ( very recent Alma matter) cost about that OOS for full pay and around half of that in state, but I get the impression that’s unusuallly cheap.</p>

<p>I don’t think the “parents don’t have to pay” anything argument works that well these days. Of course, it’s still true- and I’m very grateful to my parents for paying for the portion of my undergrad that wasn’t covered by merit aid- but it’s not like people can work through undergrad like they could in the old days. The efc structure expects parents to contribute significantly to college education costs. Granted, there are some 0 or low efc students who can do something like questbridge or go to one of the few schools that meet full need and there are a few that get full rides- true full rides are actually quite rare. But for most students, it’s either parental help or massive loans. Even with full tuition scholarships, you’d still be looking at. $40k in debt!</p>

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<p>In theory, personally I agree…but that’s not the point. I believe that too quickly you are making too broad a stroke. All public schools are not worth $25k. Some private schools are worth $50k. (Some publics will be $40k if you are oos, but you might get merit aid… you don’t know because you haven’t looked too far.)</p>

<p>You need to start looking at the schools individually and see their value. What is the availability of classes, are there undergraduate research opportunities, is there travel abroad, how about internships? How many of the students actually graduate in 4years? That gives an entirely new meaning to how much each year is worth. GATech has an insane amount that take 6years. I’m sure they are well worth it and they are some of the BEST engineers in the country, however I assume their families made the decision based on 4yrs. Ask for that fact, it’s an important one. Ask about job placement. Make sure their is adequate housing.</p>

<p>Do some legwork. It really is THAT important. A public school that offers the above probably is well worth your $25k. If it isn’t meeting expectations, move on there are schools that will.</p>

<p>Sounds like you want support for the decision to forgo the prestige of the private school. The two state schools you mention both have advantages over Northwestern in some aspects, only choose it if it has clear advantages to you (see my response to you in the UW thread). Engineering at U of M and UW will both be good and well known in the midwest. Your college experience will also be good.</p>

<p>Finances. Time to have a long discussion with your parents. Ask them where they would get the extra money for college. They should never use their retirement funds. Will the family lifestyle undergo changes to support your college decision? Are there siblings with expectations or for whom a private college may be a clear choice over public? I’m sure a mature abstract discussion of possibilities would be good for your parents to undergo. Most of us don’t think about the finances any more than we have to. It will be good for both you and them to examine the family fortunes and expenses. It may mean having an excuse to cut an expense they haven’t gotten around to dropping.</p>

<p>Yes $25,000 for all expenses- school, travel, living, entertainment is realistic/generous for a public college student today. This means not scrimping but having the clothes and lifestyle a middle class student is accustomed to, perhaps with some money left over.</p>

<p>Should your parents pay more even if they can easily afford it? I’ll never forget the rich father who sent one D to Stanford and another to UW-La Crosse. Each went to an appropriate school for their academic ability et al. Once you and your parents have discussed family finances- a mature thing for you to do, btw- you will have a better idea. It may be worth your while at this time to apply to Northwestern and, if accepted, see what the actual costs will be after any merit money. That will give you and your parents time to decide which school will be best for you. I presume you will still be in HS- only weeks before college classes start.</p>

<p>Just replying to those who think it’s obviously silly to take out loans rather than attend a cheaper school. YMMV. My son’s friend is not just a pretty smart, but very brilliant kid attending the top engineering school in the county. He’s doing extremely well in his classes and is already, after his freshman year, working with major-league profs in their labs in his area of interest. In his case, I think he’s making a reasonable investment in his own intellectual life, whether or not it pays off monetarily (although I doubt this kid is going to end up on the bread line.) If he were a more garden-variety bright kid, I doubt it would matter much where he went. My S will also get a fine education at our state flagship and will apparently have excellent job prospects upon graduation although the department in which he intends to major isn’t ranked nearly as highly. That’s OK too.</p>

<p>“This is what I thought and wanted advice on - the value of MN/Madison engineering programs at 20-25k is most likely higher than the value of a 50k school’s engineering program even if my parents might be willing/able to pay that much money.” </p>

<p>OP - That varies a lot by the student, the colleges being compared, and the level of sacrifice needed to pay the delta. It will be a journey for you and your parents as you research and ponder. There is a lot of time between now and April to ponder. </p>

<p>We were in the parent camp that assured that we would cover state school expenses (almost $25K). Originally we said anything above that would need to be covered by scholarships and loans. Over time we realized son was a stellar student and considered stretching for a better fit school (none fit all criteria), if there were at least some merit $ to lessen the gap. He ended up at oos private, with an excellent scholarship. It was not the most highly ranked of his acceptances, but it is a fine school and provided the best balance of fit and finances.</p>

<p>I apologize, but I find the notion that the payment of tuition is a gift is ridiculous. My friend’s mother, who was brilliant enough to attend Harvard, was forced to attend a state school (not that this is the end of the world, but no state school can compete with Harvard) since her parents refused to pay and struggled throughout. She was living on two bagels a day for some time, and had to work a job in addition to keeping up with her schoolwork.</p>

<p>And the bigger problem I have is the parents who inhibit their children and then expect them to grow up and pay for their tuition on their own. Let them grow up when it’s convenient for you.</p>

<p>Parents need to take responsibility for their children. If they don’t qualify for aid, you clearly don’t need it. Worry a bit less about retiring early and a bit more about your children’s education.</p>

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Dang. Why didn’t we think of that? It was right there for us in the ol’ black and white. Yup. Don’t we all feel just a little foolish right about now? Thank you, Coe, for putting us all back on track. ;)</p>

<p>coe, have you ever run an EFC calculator? What the colleges say a family can afford often bears little to no resemblance to reality. Big mortgage? Too bad. Two car payments? Lifestyle choice. Parent lost a job? Hey, she had income last year, so we’ll count it towards EFC anyway. She’ll have another job that pays even more in a few weeks, right? Dad out on disability? Social Security and disability payments count towards EFC, too!</p>

<p>If you can squeeze tens of thousands of dollars out of my family budget, you are welcome to try.</p>